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If they studied science, would I relate?

Lukas got his first certificate from the College of Sound and Music Production. He studies VET Music through them and I'm very proud of him. I was thinking about it and the fact that Erik is all about art, Lukas is all about music, and now Bryn has shown an intense interest in music as well, sits very well with me. I'm proud as punch.

I would be no less proud if they wanted to be doctors, or lawyers, or psychologists, but I really wonder if I would be able to relate to those passions.

So many parents want their children to be motivated towards careers with solid, stable incomes. The arts usually cause parents consternation. I know of one set of parents whose daughter wanted to be a dancer and they basically forbade her from applying for performance art degrees because they saw 'no future' in that direction.

The arts are also not as prestigious in this day and age. When I was doing the PhD, people would be quite excited to hear that and they'd ask what I was researc…

Love at first sight? I call bullshit...

I have heard that if you're in love, you'll know it. This is often told to teens with their first infatuation. 'Am I in love? Is this what being in love feels like?' 'When you're in love, you'll know it!'

Thing is, most people think this is that stomach eating, heart racing feeling they get when they first see their object of desire.

It's not.

I'm not wrong about this, guys. Seriously. When you think you're in love with someone you've just met or someone you've been in a relationship with for a few weeks, you don't know what being in love is.

'To know someone is to love someone'... or something like that, but therein lies the truth about love. When you first meet someone, even when you have known someone for a while as a friend, that feeling of wanting to spend every minute with them, that feeling is your mind and body preparing for love.

It is the infatuation stage of pre-love. It is when you project all the things you w…

All the phones - phone ettiquette...

Got to work, realised I didn't have my ATM card. Pretty sure Dave had it but wanted to reassure myself he did. So, I called home, and got the answering machine. I called Luey and got his answering machine. I called Dave and got his answering machine. Finally, I got through on Bryn's number.

Let's get serious here. A house full of phones - only Ari doesn't have a phone - and no one was answering. I don't think we have to worry about interrupting people all the time just because everyone carries a phone these days... Well, not in my house, anyway.

Dave is always at a loss as to why we text all the time. I talk to the boys via SMS or Messenger all the time. I have even been known to send Luey a message to come to the lounge room, rather than yell for him to come (yes, I'm one of those mums who yell at their kids at the other end of the house to come to me - hey, if it is good enough in nature, then it's good enough for me).

Terrible, isn't it?

The thing is…

Reality Bullying...

I was almost on reality television this year - I really should blog about that, actually. It wasn't the kind of reality television that consists of teams or individuals competing against each other, thank goodness. I couldn't participate in anything like that because I'm just not competitive with other people. As soon as I sense someone is competing with me, I just back off. Let them have it, I say. I'm not attracted to competing with other people because I just don't feel I have to prove myself to anyone other than me.

I also don't watch reality television of any kind. I find it boring, to be honest. Still, there is no avoiding the ads. What I see in the ads - the ones where people are competing with one another - is, frankly, repellent.

I know shows like 'My Kitchen Rules' and 'Survivor' (is that one outdated?) are very popular. The thing is in shows like this the tension doesn't come from a story line. It comes from people treating each o…

Permissive parenting or realistic parenting?

A question has been occupying my mind for a few weeks now. Am I being a permissive parent or a realistic parent?

Erik is 18 and therefore an adult and therefore legally able to drink, and responsible for whatever drug taking he might choose to do - and on occasion, he does choose to do. As his mother I worry about him, but he's an adult and there isn't much I can do about it.

Lukas is 16 (17 in June). I have become aware that when he stays over at mate's places, they will often drink, and have occasionally smoked pot. I also know that on one occasion, after Lukas had been on an excursion in the city, he and a couple of mates, and Erik, thought it would be fun to smoke some weed in a park. Afterwards, Lukas told me, and I tried to explain all the ways this decision had put him and others in the way of danger. He wasn't ever going to acknowledge that. Eventually, I had to let it go before it became an argument and his brain shut down completely to anything I was saying.

Finding their wings...

Erik comes over quite a bit these days.

The other day when he visited Luey had just been paid his GPA award -

Let me explain that in more detail... Our high school has a monthly GPA rated from 0-4, with 1.67 being an acceptable minimum, the older boys have never done particularly well on their GPAs but last year I implemented an award system whereby anything over 2 was paid. Between 2 and 3 there is a $20+ payment, between 3-4 there is a $75 flat payment. A 4 is awarded a payment of $150. Lukas has consistently been hovering between a 2 and a 3 for much of the past year. This first GPA of the 2018 school year saw Luey score a 3.1 and Bryn - on his first ever GPA - came in at 3.3!

So, back to the story. Lukas had just received his award payment and wanted to go to a concert with his friends. Now, there is no way between heaven and hell we would have let Erik go to a concert at Luey's age - Erik just wasn't trustworthy enough. Erik also wanted to go to the same concert and as Lu…