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Showing posts from January, 2006

The "Can't-be-bothered"s

Oh Gawd! I think I'm becoming self-indulgent...

I have to be careful because I do suffer from agoraphobia and I have to always make sure I'm not allowing myself to slip into old patterns of thinking with that regard. Lately, I've been suffering a lot with the "can't-be-bothered"s when it comes to interacting with other people. Don't get me wrong, I love interacting with others, but sometimes I need a little push to make me "get out there" in the first place.

I had a lovely time at Laura's blessingway the other night, for example, but yesterday I should have taken the boys to homeschooling group and I didn't, even though once I get there I really enjoy the interaction (and so do they)...

I was also supposed to catch up with my friend, Renee and her kids in December/January and well, I haven't even rung her... I haven't received an invite to her daughter's 2nd birthday, and I have to wonder if that is because they're not …

Emerging personality

Just in the last few weeks, Bryn's personlity has really started to make itself known. It shows me just how "sleepy" he was as an infant. I have always told other parents that when their children suddenly stops falling asleep as easily, or staying asleep as easily around 4 months of age it is because they are beginning to "wake up" to the world. With Erik and Luey this was a fairly self-evident phenomenon, in that they were both fairly characteristically infant-like in their first 4 months or so... Erik was looking around the room and interacting from a young age, but still had a lot of "infantness" about him, being floppy and whatnot.

Luey was the classic "infant", obviously very insular in the early months, he didn't sleep a lot, but still had that "I'm not really aware of the world around me" look until about four months of age. Bryn has been quite different.

From about 2 months of age, he seemed quite awake to the wo…

Reality check, sonny boy!

Dave and I have really been struggling with the boys of late. I mean in so many ways, as they get older a lot of things get a hell of a lot easier. Some things, just get harder. This summer, we've heard a lot of, "I don't want to" and just plain old, "No, I just want to do what I want to do" from Erik... It's great that Erik knows his own mind, but he is really into arguing the point with us these days.

Along with that, a lot of his behaviours seem to match Luey's, and while Luey is four and behaving pretty much like a four year old, Erik is six, nearly seven and our expectations (which I have reflected on and don't think are too high) are that he will have a little more self-control or impulse control. In fact, it is often the case that Luey has more impulse control than Erik.

As well as these things, both boys seem to be exhibiting the attitude that everything is to be taken for granted. Great they feel safe, I don't begrudge them that, but …

Getting there!

Here are the first three hats I've knitted out of the wool I bought from NZ last week, and I'm soooo happy with the result. I bought six skeins of wool, three were multi-dyed (yeah, I'm making up words now), and three were plain, these are the three multi-dyed ones. I will also knit completely plain hats and hats that are a combination of the two types, with patterns...

My plan is to sell them at markets first, and see how they go. They're only a winter item, but if they take off, at least that will be something to work on (I really need a good summer/cotton pattern to work with)...

It's funny, you know, I feel very shy about trying to sell something I've made. I have no qualms buying other people's home-made stuff, but for some reason I feel like I'm not worthy in some way to be offering stuff for sale, like I'm some sort of fraud - ridiculous, isn't it? I don't mind giving stuff away but I find it really hard to ask for money in return …

Junk day hangover

Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai! (as my Amma would say)...

Not feeling crash hot today... Not that I have a real hangover or anything (you just can't get a real hangover on 2 1/2 glasses of champagne), but I have a classic and (for me) familiar old-fashioned food hangover, you know, the kind you get the day after Christmas when you feel sluggish and a little regretful about the overindulgence of processed beige coloured food...

The night before last we had pizza for dinner, with Coke. Then yesterday I had an olive and cheesy roll from Baker's delight, followed by yummy (but deadly) pinwheels, herb and garlic pull apart, fruit cheese and crackers, a timtam, a square of chocolate and a delicious choc dipped strawberry (my first even - might as well have been cocaine, LOL, I'm sure I dreamt choc dipped strawberries last night)... Had a can of (complimentary from homeshop) Coke zero when I got home (bloody hell if they have actually come up with a sugarfree variety that tastes like the …

Blessingway blessings...

I just read an outline of the itinerary (is that the right word, sounds wrong) for a blessingway I'll be attending tomorrow night, gosh it read beautifully. Using the Buddhist tradition of binding the pregnant woman's family and friends together with a red thread so that leading up to the birth they can keep the pregnant woman in their thoughts!

When I had my blessingway before I had Bryn, I incorporate Pagan ritual (being a Pagan, myself), which also included the ability for those in attendance to send me positive energy through lighting anointed candles.

I can understand why women are more and more turning towards these spiritual get togethers in preparation for birth rather than the more recent traditional babyshower which provided more for the practicalities of a new addition to a household.

With so much emphasis already on "baby propelled consumerism", the deeply spiritual journey that is becoming a mother, even for women who do identify with one or another spirit…

Australia Day

Well, it's been a funny Australia Day, stinking hot (as you might expect) with a massive storm just before dinner that caused several shorts and lost me the first draft of the above layout, LOL (always remember to back up!!!)...Thought I'd do a quite sum up of what I think of when thinking of what being Australian means to me...My most potent thoughts relate back to my childhood in Whyalla, back then I felt Australian, since then I have felt that way, possibly because I live overseas for all of my teen years and then some...What is essential Australia for me:Days so hot you can't go outsideThe smell of rain on hot cement at the end of days so hot you can't go outsideThe sound of thunder that rolls in and out without a drop of rain for four yearsLong dusty drives through salt bush to "go visit Nanna and Grandad" after ChristmasStirring up the red dust on a Kawasaki on the weekend with mum and dadWagon Wheels melting in your hand as you eatVegemite sandwiches f…

Size slum

This was something that occurred to me the other day...

As I've mentioned earlier, I'm on a quest to improve my health and lose weight as well. Back in October of 2004, A month before I got pregnant with Bryn, I weighed in at 112kg... I had tried to get pregnant for two months unsuccessfully. I know that isn't a lot of time, but for me it was the longest it had ever taken - I had gotten pregnant four times before that one the first or second attempt. I decided it was my weight that was making it difficult to get pregnant and so embarked on regime to lose weight. I cut out most all sugar and carbs and walked every morning, in the following month I lost 6kg and got pregnant.

During my pregnancy, I didn't put on any excess weight, but in fact lost weight. I went up to 112.5kg at the end of my pregnancy and then a week after Bryn was born I down to 104kg, 6 weeks later I was down to 101kg and stayed there for a couple of months, despite eating a lot of chips and chocol…

Let's face it, love hurts...

I know the title sounds rather pessimistic, but bare with me...

By this I mean, loving someone means being vunerable and accepting that seperation or loss will lead to pain...

Why am I mulling over this? Well, we've had a couple of rough days, my boys and I. After yesterdays incident, which I had decided to forgive myself and move on about, today brought more challenges...

The boys were pretty full on from the get go this morning. At the moment they're right into superheros, Batman, Superman, The Flash and so on. Dave kind of enjoys this because at this age he collected all those comics. The down side of this is that the boys like to don their capes and race around the house, arms outstretched ahead of them.

So, they were sent outside to play. This means a lot of getting up and peeking out of windows to keep an eye on them. Then I get on the phone with a friend while feeding Bryn, and next thing I no there is silence outside...

You know, the sound of silence is not at all go…

More about today...

I felt even worse, when I discovered that Luey had not put the Angelite in the bottom of the pram, but rather in my nappybag, and so it wasn't lost at all...

Anyway, it looks like the other two purchases I made at the Crystal stall were very timely. I bought (based on attraction) a Manganocalcite and an Amazonite... This is what sources say about these Crystals (from, http://www.crystalsandjewelry.com/metaphysicalproperties_a.html) :

Manganocalcite: is a calming stone that eases and
heals the heart chakra. It fills the heart with universal and self-love. It
offers hope for the best. Manganocalcite heals inner child hurts and past abuse by filling one with a sense of motherly love.
Manganocalcite It is also excellent for channeling and astral travel. It also greatly helps with studying and retaining information learned.
Manganocalcite is a nurturing stone that helps us take care of ourselves. It enables us to accept love and have self-love, and act on and with loving behaviors. It is a h…

Two steps forward, one step back...

Today I thought I'd take the boys down the street. It's been so hot these past few days, we've been home all the time, and their cabin fever was right up there this morning. So, just after midday we trundled to the bus stop and went up to the shopping centre. I weighed myself and weighed in at 97.3kg (which is 1.1kg since last Monday)... The I took the boys to Red Rooster for a special treat lunch (with water instead of soft drink or juice, and goddamnit if they don't charge an extra $1.20 for the water instead of just substituting it for the other drink options, grrr)...

Then I checked out a couple of places and the last stop was to a stand, I know, in the centre that sells Crystals. I just wanted to see if they sold anything off interest, or just the usual stuff. Well, they definitely sold interesting stuff! Erik begged for a rock and thinking I would encourage him, I got him an Angelite he chose after much ponderance. Luey, of course had to have the same. Th…

The Tiger Iron Incident

No, I'm not about to write about golfing, so if you're a golfing enthusiast, you might as well mosey along...

This is my Tiger Iron egg. It's not very big, fits into the palm of my hand very nicely, but I'm beginning to sense it's a fairly potent crystal! Here's my story...

The blurb that came with the Tiger-iron stated the following, Tiger Iron is a blend of Hermatite, Red Jasper & Tiger Eye. Helps bring dreams into effect without hesitation. Enhances clarity. Very grounding (I need that!). Alleviates fear. Physically oriented increasing vitality & life-force. Accentuating all healing.So, anyway, because I was feeling very much at a low ebb today, energy wise, I decided (after Dave got home from his meeting and Bryn was having a nap) to do a shortist meditation and card time, and then have a nap with the Tiger Iron tucked under my boob (yeah, those National Geographic boobs are endlessly useful for storing stuff under...).So, off I doze into byesy land,…

Uh, um, what was I going to say?

I feel like a zombie this morning...

This heat is just tossing me about like a foul wet rag...

Between Dave going in overtime to attend meetings last week and this, and me having a head cold, 26 degree nights, and thirsty bubbas, I'm starting to wind down like some old rusty toy... This morning was a real trial to get out of bed (even though it wasn't until 8.30)... Bryn had fed pretty steadily the first half of the night, so when he woke this morning, instead of trying to feed him back to sleep, I just called out to Dave to come take him. Luckily Bryn is a happy morning chappy and seems to enjoy sitting in his rocker in the loungeroom with the other boys first thing.

Anyway, at 8.30 Dave comes in to wake me, he has to take a shower and go, I have to get up to be around for the kids. I struggle to sit up and feel very light headed and hung over. Then it's change and feed this one, and wipe that one's bum, and get the other one a drink. The I remember I forgot some adminis…
To my little angel heart...

Healthier Us!

Over three weeks into the New Year, and all year, so far, we've been eating pretty healthfully. We've had take away once - pizza... The boys have had Hungry Jacks once, that's it, all the rest has been home prepared food, and that is a big change for us in and of itself.

Moreso, we've changed our dinner menu considerably. Introducing a lot more fresh vegies. Our out more processed food. When Erik was a baby, we ate very healthfully, but somehow we let that slide after Luey was born, and in the past 2-3 years things had really slipped... We were eating a lot of processed foods. Meat meals every night, frozen vegies, if any at all... We were eating a lot of jar based meat/sauce/pasta or rice dishes, not a lot of vegies, and certainly not fresh ones, unless potatoes count...

I knew this wasn't good, but we were in the bad habit of buying night to night, instead of weekly shops, and so we didn't have the food in the house, and also we were always looking to cut corne…

Dodgy Meh, Mamma!

Bryn has begun to display one of Dave's personality quirks... He gets pissed off by inaminate objects that aren't doing what he expects them to do in the time frame he has deemed reasonable (usually that timeframe is about 5.3 seconds)...

How is this particular personality quirk expressing itself? Well, he get impatient on the boob. It seems he thinks I have dodgy boobs (better known as Meh in this household), that don't "let down" fast enough. His solution to this rather serious and annoying problem is to grunt loudly and impatiently and kick his legs furiously while simultaneously tugging at my nipple with his clenched gums...

Now, why he thinks THAT is going to encourage let down, I don't know... I personally find it rather distracting and uncomfortable, which to my mind would mean I probably tense up (even while practicing relaxing breathing techniques to encourage let down), thereby stalling let down...

Is this a male thing? The belief that if something is …

Telling time

Thought you might be wondering what we do as natural learners, or "radical unschoolers" - how our kids learn stuff without a set curriculum... Here's a good example...

This photo was taken minutes ago, as I speak Erik and Luey are sitting with Dadda at the dining room table playing a game, very similar to "Memory" where they have a board or two each with pictures of different times of the day. There are a bunch of cards laid face down in the middle and each child takes it in turn to pick out a card, and see if they can match it to their board, if not, they have to return the card to its place, and the next child has a turn. This way we can open discussion about time, and they become familiar with the difference appearance of face clocks at different times... This is both fun and educational, but we only play the game if the boys ask to play it as they did today :D...

They grow up sooo fast!

My babies just keep growing and growing, and I'm at loss to explain how this seems to happen faster and faster with each child...

Here's Bryn sitting in the "back position" in my sling last night while I helped Dave make burritos for dinner (yeah, that's me looking a bit unglamourous - hey, I have a cold, give me a break!)... Now, "they" (the big sling gurus in the sky) don't recommend putting babies in the back position until they about 12 months old. Luey was about 9 months old when I start him in that position, and Bryn is only a tiny 5 months old (not that you'd guess it, looking at him, had a young mum tell me at the bank today that her 7 month old is the same size as him - and that baby was 8.5lbs at birth, so no preemie)...

Bryn is very stable, and seemed quite happy back there for 1/2 hour or so... It's good in a way that he is able to be carried on my back already because he weighs about 8.8kg now, and is a bit of a lump to be carryin…

Confessions of a shop-a-holic...

Oh dear, I think I may be in a "phase" again...

I've gone through stages in my life when I've been compelled to buy stuff. Now, I'm always fairly judicious in my purchases. I always find stuff we "need", like clothes for the boys, or birthday presents, or household goods. I almost NEVER pay full price for anything. But there have been times in my life when I've felt this compulsion to buy stuff, to hand over money and receive goods, goods I could well get along without...

Take these tops for example, they're gorgeous (in my opinion), and only $13 each, so very reasonable, and there were only these two left in my size, they'll be excellent for winter! BUT, would I have gone naked without these two tops? Hardly! I have a bunch of tops that would be fine for winter, I didn't NEED any more tops (yes, I'm losing weight, but these are in my current size anyway)...

I'm currently waiting on 8 packages from ebayers, full of clothing for Bryn…

Radical Unschooling

That is what we do in this house, though this term is almost "dirty" even within the homeschooling community...

What does it mean?

It means Dave and I don't "provide" and education for our children at all. We only assist them (when asked) in learning whatever knowledge or skills they are interested in learning, at the time, and for the duration that they are interested.

I've trained as a teacher. I have an undergraduate degree in Communications (Professional Writing), and post graduate diploma in Vocational Education and Training, and a Masters degree in Education (specialising in Early Childhood Development)... Through out all my learning and research about how people communicate and how children and adults learn and develop, I've come to understand that the inquisitive nature of human beings ensures that even without direction, the human child (or adult, if not depressed or oppressed, and even still) will can't help but learn those skills and info…

Parenting POWER struggle

Something I've been musing over the last few days...

Ok, the other night I did a quick search of blogs about homeschooling (we homeschool), and came across one where the blogger was arguing that you'd have to be insane to homeschool because as much as she loves her toddler, she can't wait for him to go to daycare/creche/preschool (sorry, I can't remember which she said). Anyway, this same blogger referred to her child as Toddler in Chief (or TIC)... And it struck me that very often these days, when I see parents talking about how their kids are overwhelming them, they also have a tendency to refer to their kid in a manner that suggests a power struggle between the parent and the child, usually putting the child in the position of lording it over the parent.

Now, as a Child Development Specialist (yeah, yeah, giving myself a lofty title here, but hey, I think I kind of earned it with all my studies in Child development, both officially (through my Masters degree) and unof…

In the Pink

After my blog yesterday I suddenly came down with a headcold, it came on like a tidal wave of fogginess and a streaming nose! I couldn't think clearly enough to write anything. Kept trying to finish a layout I had started the day before, but just couldn't get my thoughts co-ordinated. Spent a lot of the day ragging on the boys to clean their room, especially Erik, who had been caught feeding himself out of MY special yogurt (geez, I'm like my dad), and then had hopped out of his bedroom window when left alone in his room to tidy it as repayment for eating MY yogurt...
I still feel feverish today, but am determined to do something more constructive with my day...
So, here is the first of those many blogs I promised you guys yesterday...
Look at my beautiful boy, isn't he just heavenly!!! This is an outfit I bought of ebay this last week, and it arrived the day before yesterday. It's so bright and cheerful and comfy for him - being both short sleeved and made from terry…

This blogging thing...

I've come to a decision about blogging. I was going to only blog once a day, but as you can see my blogs are pretty long, and I think that can be hard for some people to sit down and read in one go. Also, the title system doesn't work, when I need to go outside the "theme" of the blog. So, I've decided that I have so much to say on so many diverse (or maybe not so much) topics, that I'll probably blog more than once a day, some days, but each blog will be dedicated to one subject.

I think this will also be good exercise for my writing - kind of like writing mini-articals on things that interest me (and maybe some of you?)...

(Hey, for some reason I don't have all my settings in this post window - where are my fonts? Where is the colour pallette???)

Contact!

Wow, speaking of manifesting...

About a week ago, I wrote in a reflection book I have running irl atm, that it would be nice to get back in contact with my extended family on my dad's side. The last time I talked (irl) to, or saw, anyone from that side of the family was about 6 years ago, when Erik was Bryn's age!

About 9.5 years ago, I had a falling out with my paternal Grandmother. I'd just recently gotten together with Dave, and being rather emotionally immature, could not thinking, or speak, about anything else. I'd gone on holiday with an aunt and her kids, and my grandmother, and my constant jabbering on about Dave was starting to irretate them. I was basically told not to mention him again (which I thought was a bit harsh, but looking back, I can see how irretating I must have been to them)... But the fall out wasn't about that, so much as about my Grandmother getting very upset over the fact that I'd announced that Dave and I might be moving in together,…

Dave

Gee, you know I love the guy, but sometimes he drives me spare. He is set to get a redundancy soon, and will then be out of work. As he sees it, his options are to; a) find another job pdq, b) go on some sort of Centrelink payment and then look for work, c) get into a NEIS program and try to get his small publishing idea off the ground.

Now, part of him just wants to take a break from it all. Work this part year or more has been pretty stressful. The thing is, he'll be 48 in a couple of months, and well, if he doesn't work for a while, it won't help him when he tries to get a job later on. If he does the NEIS program but isn't 100% invested in getting a business up and running, then he'll end up spending a year basically passing time (which I don't think he is particularly opposed to), and end up with this big hole in his resume.

If he DOES want to get a business going, he just has to reconcile himself with the truth that it will be lots of hard work, with p…

Playing around...

Well, I've spent most of today playing around with photoshop, trying to put wings on my kids!



It's just a beginning, but it's been fun - well, sort of fun. I really shouldn't try to concentrate on this stuff while the kids are awake, way too many distractions, but then again, lately there hasn't been a time between 5.30am and 1.30am when one or another of them isn't awake!We don't usually have this problem, but Buddha has been teething and well, while he isn't too cranky with it, it does seem to prevent him from sleeping deeply, and consequently he is waking often, and this past week he has woken around 10pm-ish and just stayed awake for a couple of hours.Needless to say, Dave and I are pretty wrecked. I keep thinking I should hop into bed before 10pm and then I'll be in bed when Bryn wake and can feed him back off to sleep before he manages to rouse himself enough to stay awake, but then 10pm comes around each night, and I'm just dying for some …

Buddha Boy

This is my beautiful baby boy, Bryn (which is sort for Brynjar (Icelandic, meaning breastplate))... Bryn is the youngest of my three boys. He will be 5 months old in just two days time, and I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. He has been a pure delight to have around. We generally call him Buddha, because he is so round and placid and calm. Not to say he doesn't know what he wants or how to communicate his needs to us, but he is just so easy going.


Our house is fairly chaotic, with two older boys running around most of the time. Both Dave and I tend to be fairly loud and expressive at home, which only ever adds to the noise and bussle around the place, and yet Bryn never seems phased by any of it!When Dave and I had been together for a few weeks (this is going back ten years now), I had a couple of dreams about our children - the children Dave said he never was going to have :) - from then on I know we would have three children; with the first two being born two year…

Where to begin?

I've been meaning to blog for the longest time, I used to keep a fairly consistent diary all through my late teens and twenties, but it went a bit slack after Erik's birth, and was all but forgotten after Luey's birth. Since having Bryn, I've realised I spend too much time at the computer to realistically keep up with a written journal, so online will have to do... Besides, friends have been showing me their e-scrapbooking efforts and I'm keen to give it a go as well...

I've titled my blog "At the bottom of the Garden" because I'm liable to come out with some rather strange musings on life, and spirituality and what not. Really, I'm not crazy, but I do firmly believe that everything is connected on a molecular level and everything we do affects the world around us...

If I seem a bit "out there", well at least you can feel more sane by comparison, right?