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Blessingway blessings...

I just read an outline of the itinerary (is that the right word, sounds wrong) for a blessingway I'll be attending tomorrow night, gosh it read beautifully. Using the Buddhist tradition of binding the pregnant woman's family and friends together with a red thread so that leading up to the birth they can keep the pregnant woman in their thoughts!

When I had my blessingway before I had Bryn, I incorporate Pagan ritual (being a Pagan, myself), which also included the ability for those in attendance to send me positive energy through lighting anointed candles.

I can understand why women are more and more turning towards these spiritual get togethers in preparation for birth rather than the more recent traditional babyshower which provided more for the practicalities of a new addition to a household.

With so much emphasis already on "baby propelled consumerism", the deeply spiritual journey that is becoming a mother, even for women who do identify with one or another spiritual tradition, has been neglected.

We have swung so far from treating women as if they are suddenly made of porcelain during pregnancy, that being pregnant is often not honoured at all. Many women are still expected to be the same person they were before conceiving their baby despite carrying the spirit of another person within them - even in scientific terms the presence of another human within a human is mindboggling, but these days so readily overlooked as an emotional/spiritual/psychological journey.

I feel, because of this oversight, women often come into motherhood bewildered at the sudden changes they experience, and often suddenly feel lost with regard to who they are now, in this new circumstance. They feel as though their "self" has been spirited away while they were out buying baby clothes and nappies and cute little teddy bears...

In reality, what has happened is the woman has been distracted from the subtle changes in her very spirit by working through her pregnancy, buying lots of baby stuff, "preparing" without reflection on her deeper emotional, psychological and spiritual changes. She can never actually get back to who she was before she conceived this child, and with reflection she would probably find she actually no longer really wants to be that person, but because she hasn't had support in noticing and acknowledging the subtle changes, the grief of not being able to say goodbye to her former self can suddenly overwhelm her and even fill her with resentment or fear towards her new baby and the changes baby represents...

Comments

katef said…
I could never have said it so well so I will just agree!! Can't wait till tomorrow night!
HipbubbyMama said…
What a beautiful belly! :)The blessingway tradition is soooo lovely *sigh*

Am looking forward to tommorrow night too. I darent tell Liam where I'm going, he LOVES going "to E's house to play with E and his robot" :D
loz said…
Oh wow Sif, I too couldn't have said it better myself. The tradition of a blessingway is something that all of us have only really just begun to have and understand and it is such a wonderful thing that we can do for one another and I know just telling a few friends about it how they have grasped the concept and spoken of how they wish that they will have something similar when the time comes:D

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