Friday, March 31, 2006

Goal Met...

Weighed in at 89.6kg today... Not on my regular scales though, so will double check tomorrow. However, by that weight today, I've met my end of March goal of breaking the 90kg barrier :D...

I bought two size 16 tops this week. One fits great, the other is a little tight. My size 18 skirt that didn't quite fit when I bought it 3 years ago, is now starting to get loose.

My next goal is to get down to 76kg by Bryn's birthday, in 19.5 weeks time (hey, that's about 1/2 a pregnancy, not even that for me...). If I get down to 76kg by then, I'll have lost 30kg in one year!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Erik's hat instructions

Erik came to me before and ask me to knit him a hat, and then we discussed what he wanted and when we'd done that he offered to write out the specs of the hat for me so I woudn't forget. He got his textas and a sheet of paper and then asked me to spell out the words. Below is the resulting list :)... He started the list at the bottom of the page and worked his way up, so that is how you should read it...

Blogs in my head...

Anyone else write blogs in their head, throughout their day?

I've written about 5 in the past couple of days, but then I don't find the time to actually put them up, so here is a kind of synopses of each of them...

Strong Opinions...
Someone commented to me yesterday that I have strong opinions. The way it was said was sort of part, "Yeah, that's what I thought about you, and I'm right" and part, "Strong opinions are synonomous with ignorance"... I just smiled and said that, yes, I do have strong opinions, in a "yep, that's me, great aren't I" kind of way... I couldn't help but ask myself if maybe having strong opinions WAS a bad trait?

Having reflected on this for a day, I can say that I don't think having strong opinions is a bad thing at all. My opinions are most often based on a lot of information gathering and reflection. I don't tend to just take on other people's opinions as my own, and I do acknowledge that other people have differing opinions based on their own experiences and view of the world, and if someone is able to give me a good argument for their differing opinion, and I can see the logic in what they are saying, I'm able to adjust my opinion to acknowledge the differing perspective and understanding on an issue.

I think having strong opinions is a good thing, it means I feel passionate about some issues, instead of just going with the flow. Passionate people make changes in this world, and often that is a good thing too (sometimes it isn't, of course, especially when their opinions differ to mine, LOL)...

Dave's Anger...

Dave is soooo angry. He thinks it's Aries anger, but it isn't because Aries anger isn't self-distructive, it is justice driven. He believes his anger is justice driven, but it is a) often on behalf of people who aren't angry themselves (i.e. he is looking for reasons to be angry) and b) it is often way out of proportion to the situation he is angry about.

His anger is consuming him a lot of the time, and if affecting our household. Being empathic, I tend to pick up on his anger and channel it, and it's taken me a long time to realise this isn't my own anger I'm feeling and that I can shut it down most of the time...

His anger seems to be cumulative, and I believe it started in his childhood, in his powerless relationship with his mum (who has all her own repressed anger, from her own powerless childhood)... Dave seems to exhibit the need to be "justifiably angry", that is, he will let things slide and let things slide until enough things have happened that he feels justified in exploding, except that he tends to explode over little things and so then his anger doesn't make sense to those receiving it, and it adversely affects his relationship with those people... It's affecting his relationship with the boys, and me, that's for sure... He seriously needs counselling.

Sad Songs...
I was on the bus the other day, and a Richard Marx song came on from about 10 years ago. It reminded me of a relationship I was in then (it was kind of our song, well *my* song for our relationship anyway)... I was sitting there reminiscing, and listening to the words of the song, and I suddenly realised I wasn't THAT person anymore, and the words of that song were soooo sad, and really reflected my state of mind back then, and my complete lack of self-esteem. Then I realised that relationship was never about "us" is was really all about "me" and me needing to figure myself out. I found myself feeling kind of sorry for the guy. Sure, he had his own issues, and wasn't really able to communicate them to me properly, but truth be told, I wouldn't have been receptive anyway because I was walking in a deep fog of ME at the time, and how I felt and what was happening to ME...

The me that I am now would probably still like this guy (he really was a nice person, funny, interesting), but I just wouldn't want a relationship with him anymore because I don't think I was ever interested in HIM, I was just fulfilling a need in ME... It's funny how you see things differently many years down the track, and how much one person can change... I'll have to blog about that one day...

My Nanna...
I was talking to my cousin on msn last night and she suddenly told me my Nanna is in hospital. I say suddenly because in all our conversations my Nanna hasn't been mentioned. She hasn't been mention because I haven't talked to her in ten years, since she called me a whore for planning to move in with Dave but not marry him.

I used to be my Nanna's favourite grandchild (ok, I was her first, so that was easy)... We used to get along quite well. In many ways we're very similar, in some ways we're completely different.

Anyway, so she had open heart surgery last week, and got home a couple of days ago, but then went back into hospital after "minor heart failure". Things don't look good. Anyway, I asked if i should send a card or something. I don't want to send a card if it'll just upset her (she's the kind of person who would be likely to think I'm just trying to get back into her will at the last minute, ys)...

So, I talked to Dad last night. He had been told about her operation a couple of weeks ago, but had heard anything more since (he's not an easy person to get a hold of mind you, he lives way out in the country on a farm that only has generator electricity, and he's just as likely not to answer his phone, because he values his solitude)... He didn't know she'd gotten worse, and he kind of infered he didn't really care either. I asked him if he'd go to the funeral (if there was one) and he said no - obviously, there are some burnt bridges there. He did understand though why I wanted to send a card letting Nanna know I was thinking of her and sending her my best wishes - she is family, as he said.

I feel weird about this. I don't want her to die thinking I hate her, I don't hate her, I just can't have her venom in my life. I certainly don't want to be in her will. I'm sort of sad about the lost relationship with had, but at the same time, I feel very distant from her now, not at all like the grandmother/granddaughter relationship we used to have. I feel like I really don't know her, and that maybe I'd be imposing myself by making contact at this late stage. Then again, I feel that not making contact, now that I know she's unwell just isn't right... Complicated...

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

My new little cousin!

Oh wow!!! He's here, and I was right, she was having a boy (that's the third right baby I've predicted in recent times, so maybe it's all coming back to me :D)!

He was born early Sunday morning (Icelandic time - that would be a Monday baby here, but well, they don't go by this time, do they, so he was born on the 26th of March)... He was born at 4.50am, weighed 4140gr, and measure 53cm.

He's a little blondie (of course, they all are up that way)... He has the same head shape as Bryn, which surprises me because I thought Bryn looked most like my dad's side of the family but my aunty Helga is my mum's youngest sister (and sibling for that matter)... In the picture above you see my aunt with her older daughter Bylgja, who is 13, holding The Baby (Helga has one other daughter Heiddis, who is 10, I think).

In Iceland the baby's name isn't made public until his Christening which happens some time in his first three months of life - so we may not have a name until June!!! Helga is about 5 years older than me, so I've always felt she (and my other aunties who are 7 and 8 years older) is more like a sister to me - She was the one who introduced me to George Michael, hahaha! (Oh and she once had a boyfriend by the name of Brynjar, too...) It's funny to think I have a little cousin who is 34 years younger than me! Ooooh, I'm very homesick for Iceland now, I would love for Bryn and this baby to be able to grow up together, oh well...

Til Hamingju Helga min!

A Quiet MOMENT... (and a note on comments)

Well, I WAS going to come in here briefly and blog on the marvellous event that had just happened in this house - I got all three boys to sleep and had the house all quiet and relaxed while Dave is off battling with the printer guy in the city over a job dodgily done...

However, I went and spoiled it for myself by insisting on having photographic evidence... I went in and took a pic of the boys, and then took one of Bryn and thought I was very clever in not disturbing them, that is, until I sat down and heard the unmistakeable titterings of the Luey Blue in the next room... He'd been waiting for me to check in on them, and then thinking the coast was clear had decided to climb up into Erik's bunk and niggle him...

Ok, so a trip to the toilet later (he had to prove to me he had a legitimate reason for being awake still), and they're all settle back, and hopefully it'll last this time...

Ahhh, but that MOMENT before I disrupted them, when the house was completely still and peaceful and I could actually hear the workings of my own mind - bliss!!!

Now, about comments... Laura alerted me to the fact that I somehow tripped off the "no comments on new posts" button in blogger (gods only know how that happened)... Anyway, I've righted it, but I can't make the comments appear on the previous two posts, as they were posted before I fixed the problem and aren't considered "new posts" anymore...

So, feel free to comment on those posts here, if you feel inclined :D!

Paging the toothfairy!


Several weeks ago Dave told me that Erik had his first loose tooth. Now, at the age of 6 3/4 years, it's been a long time coming, but then Erik didn't get his first tooth until he was 10.5 months old.

I'm really squeamish about teeth (having had some traumatic experiences with my own over the years) and so I didn't really encourage Erik to share all his tooth wiggly stories with me (especially as he seemed determined to share them over the dinner table)... But I was aware that as time passed the tooth was working its way out because Erik preferred soft foods to hard foods, and was attempting to eat apples and hard pizza crusts with his molars :D...

So this morning he shyly comes up to me and tells me to look at his hand and there is the tiniest little white tooth! His cheeky smile now sports a large gap right in front on the lower gum...

And he informed me that the going rate with toothfairies these days is $2...

I have a photo, but I'm going to have to add it later because Blogger is play up :(...

Monday, March 27, 2006

First Bath


At 7 months and one week, Brynjar Jonas Dal had his very first bath!!!
I tend not to like to bathe my kids much because they are very prone to eczema, so Bryn had had a few showers with me, and cat washes everyday with a flannel, but hadn't yet been "steeped" in water. I was waiting until I was confident about his confidence in sitting up by himself :) ...

It didn't take him very long at all to decide he loved the splashing effect he could create by slapping the water with his hands, and our kitchen floor got a good wash as well!

Yup, he's a waterbaby just like his brothers!!!


Also, here is a pic of the pants I've gotten for his first full winter (minus a red/white and a navy/white striped pair, that are in the mail still)... Stripes are definitely a Bryn thing. I just love stripes on him, the brighter the better! Most of these are off ebay, though a couple are from Myer and a couple from Cotton On... Leggings are excellent for sling babies because they don't twist or ride up as much, and they're stretchy and comfy!


It's not immediately obvious, but what looks like the lighter pair of grey leggings on the right of the picture, they're actually marle grey and white horizontal pin-stripes, very cute! Lots of pink/purple/orange in there too!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Writing days are here again...

I've decided to do what I do best, and jump on someone else's bandwagon, LOL...

Jayne has enrolled in a writing and editing course at the local TAFE and I've decided to join her. Now, I did a Professional Writing degree as my undergraduate degree, but well, Canberra Uni doesn't exactly have a great reputation in publishing circles when it comes to it's Pro. Writ. degree, and the degree itself didn't focus on editing much at all (if any, I really can't remember learning the ins and out of editing, either computer-based, or otherwise)... So, I'm thinking this course could be great for me to a) learn how to edit properly, b) build my writing muscle (which is well and truly atrophied) and c) have some pressure on me to PRODUCE...

So, sometime next week we're going to go and enrol...

Yk, I know I want to writie. I know I could write well. The thing is I just don't know what I want to write about... Actually, maybe the opposite is true... There are a lot of things I want to write, I just don't know where to start...

I want to write children's books, and adolescent novels. An anthology of short stories for adults, and a book on parenting and metaphysics...

I want to write philosophically about parenting as well - from the perspective of children's needs and parents expectations and societal conditioning and the reality of the pressures on parents, but also the responsibility of parents to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions while acknowledging that an ideal is just that, an ideal, something worth striving for, while accepting your own limitations...

I think I should call the book, "Idealistic Parenting in the Real World" - hehehe, now that title would probably get EVERYONE'S back up...

As you can see, I've been playing with my blog layout (never one to miss a trend)... I might refine it down the line, I like a change even now and then :D...

And here's my fave pic of Bryn for this week - he's such a smiley boy!!! He totally has his own look now - for every day he passes he looks more like Bryn and less like Erik or Luey - to me...


Thursday, March 23, 2006

God, I'm a dick!

I've been feeling all alone in the world - ok, not ALL alone, but well, I'm embarrassed to admit I was missing the comments here from you guys - yeah, it's nice to know someone is listening to the sad ramblings of a self-obsessed suburban housewife...

Then I was reminded this evening that I put my comments on moderation after receiving some unsavoury comments from some weird-arse stranger...

So, I go look, and find 16 lovely comments from you guys!!!

Yay, now I'm all smiles again, though kind of embarrassed still that I'm sooooo in need of a cheer squad, rofl!!! Thanks guys!!!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Lost 10 Kilos!!!

I weighed myself today and I'm down to 90.7kg!!!

So, I've lost over 10kg this year, over 15kg since Bryn was born, and almost 22kg since just before he was conceived. That over 3 stone since October of 2004... I can't tell you how thrilled I am with those numbers!!!

I'm getting pretty excited about getting below 90kg, and am still hoping to achieve that goal by the end of March. Once I hit 88kg, I'll be the same weight I was just after Luey was born...

I can almost fit into the faux leather jacket I bought that winter (2001)... AND I wore my red velvet coat to homeschooling group on Monday, that was the first time I'd worn that in 3 years!!!

So, anyway, sorry for this totally self-congratulatory post, I'm just so pleased with myself!!!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Feeling a bit out of touch...

With my friends...

Hi guys, I know you're all out there, I saw Jayne on Saturday, and spoke to Jen yesterday, and spoke to Leah on msn on Friday or Saturday, I think... But I feel like it's been a while since I spoke/wrote to the rest of you, so just want to send a big Hiya! to everyone else out there!!!

It's funny, now that I have the laptop, I'm just not on the computer as much (hahaha, which makes me wonder if I can justify the outlay, but I'm sure this is just a temporary phenomenon)... It could also be that Dave is home all the time now too, which, while it means I can go out more freely without the bigger boys, it also means I'm less inclined to hope on the computer...

Been busy rearranging the house and that too, and then today we just got back to homeschooling group for the first time in a long time (a month, I think), and that was excellent! Such a lovely group of parents. Had a new mum today who just pulled her three boys out of school last week (in time for the CG holidays)... She was full of questions and enthusiasm, LOL... She has three boys aged 14, 10, and 7 - the two younger ones were there with her today. She was saying 6 kids were pulled out of the same school last week by their parents, and 5 were going to be homeschooled - her three plus two others, and then one was going to a different school - that's pretty interesting I think... There were only 130 students in the school before the 6 (constituting nearly 5% of the school's population) were pulled out!

What else... Oh yeah, I'm into bonus time in my minutes this month... I haven't been doing dedicated walks this past week or so, but I did hours and hours of walking with Bryn on me at Ikea on Saturday, so counted that... Then I definitely used a bunch of muscles putting up those shelves yesterday (and boy did I feel it this morning)... Then I did more walking with Bryn on me today - so I'm counting all of that, as it was all over and above all the normal kind of daily movement I do...

I hven't done much in the way of metaphysics these past couple of weeks, but like every other aspect of life, that waxes and wanes - so stay posted, LOL...

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Busy Day

This is my first opportunity to get on the computer today... We've had a big day!

The plan was to put the shelves together for the boys' room, then clean the house and then go do a big shop... Well, we tried, that's all I can say...

The shelves look fabulous, but bloody hell, they were hard to put together!!! Dave and I huffed and puffed over the shelves for something like three hours, can you believe it??? At one point I really thought Dave was going to just give up on them! Don't know how Jen's Steve and Hamish managed to put together three without having to be committed, LOL...

Anyway, we finally got them set up , and then moving them into the boys' room was comparatively simple. Boy do they look good!!! The boys' stuff is all sorted, for the first time in a long time, there is room for everything, without having to pile things on top of one another...

Then we put the boys' old bookshelf in the loungeroom, and put all of Bryn's books and toys in it, and set up a little nook for him in the corner of the loungeroom, on the opposite side of the door to the tv, LOL, so I can sit in my comfy chair and type away at the computer, and he can' get to his toys and play like never before... So far, he's loving it...

Didn't get much else done, tidied up the house somewhat, but not as much as I wanted to get done today, but at least it doesn't look trashed like when we got up this morning. Dave took the boys down the street and bought dinner. We're going to have to do the big shop tomorrow night and get it delivered on Tuesday afternoon or something like that...

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Try, try again...

Ok, if you've been checking out my blog over the past couple of days, you'll have seen posts appear and disappear with no apparent rhyme or reason. I've been experiencing some issues with blogger, at first I thought it was just my laptop. but now I definitely think it was just blogger having a nervous breakdown...

Anyway, I had wanted to brag about my new laptop (pictured above), I'm loving having it. I love sitting in amongst the kids doing my thing, I actually feel a lot more present in their lives, and Bryn is loving being in the living room instead of the dim, small study... I'm also not on the computer as much, oddly enough, I find I'm far more willing to put the laptop down, than I was to walk away from the PC...

Another thing I blogged about, was Bryn has started on solids this week. He is currently having one rice cereal meal a day. I would have started him on something else, but everything else makes him gag. So, now I express into a bowl (hand expressing is soooo much faster than pump expressing) and mix in some rice cereal, and that way it's like he's eating solid boobie milk - which I suppose tastes better to him than potato, LOL...

He LOVES eating, and tries at first to grab the spoon, but once he realises it's better to just open his mouth and let me put the food there, he just does that, but opens his mouth really wide and "roots" for the spoon, hahaha!

Today, I went and bought the shelves for the boys' room at Ikea. Jayne was a darl and drove me there and then drove the shelves home and came back and picked me up! She saved me a bundle of money doing that... Which I promptly spent on some other stuff... All justified, of course... Heheheh! Ikea is evil, yk? And their meatballs are a temptation straight from the depths of hell, one I can't resist!!! However, I DID resist the urge to buy lollies, and that in and of itself is marvellous for me...

We had take away for dinner because we haven't done any grocery shopping so far this week (really must get back on top of that)... I chose a low fat skinless grilled chicken fillet burger on a wholemeal roll from Dead Rooster, and I didn't get chips, and I drank mineral water at home, so I was pleased with that...

Ok, I'm just rambling now, so I'll try to post this blog now...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Minor and Major Annoyances




















Well, here is my new tv cabinet, pretty sleek isn't it?! I'm very happy with it, BUT it didn't turn up this morning like promised, AND only ONE guy delivered it, despite us paying $60 because apparently - being big as it is - it would require two movers... So, Dave ended up having to help the guy who delivered it... So, I'm demanding either a $30 refund, or $30 store credit, thank you very much!!!

That was the minor annoyance of today...

The MAJOR annoyance was that Dave's redundancy DIDN'T show up in his bank account this morning... He ended up calling around to try and find out why not, and got three different stories, so he decided to go into work to sort it out person to person... The money will be in his account first thing in the morning, now. Bloody hell, it seems the students held up the payments so they could fine tooth comb them, but no one bothered to tell the staff that their money was delayed, which is just symptomatic of the lack of respect the staff at Swinburne Student Union have had to endure from the student council for many years now...

Ok, so hopefully I can pick up my new laptop tomorrow...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Kicking Goals

Ok, first and foremost... I weighed myself today... Yes, it's only Tuesday and I don't usually weigh myself until Friday, but well, Dave wanted to weigh himself, and I'd been feeling a bit deflated by the 300g gain last Friday, so I thought I'd double check that eating more salads was working... Yes, it is! I was down from 93.1 last Friday to 91.9 today - which tells me there definitely was some fluid retention from the pizza last Thursday night... So, all is right with the world in that respect. However, I have decided to also keep and informal log of measurements for those times when the scales are being discouraging... So, my waist is 103cm, and my hips are 122cm... I won't bother with boobs (all that gravitational pull has sorely distorted those measurements...)...

Ok, what else (please excuse my ramblings today, btw, and all the talk about spending money)...

Right, I went and checked out Gizmo, the laptop I'm thinking of buying TOMORROW!!! Here are the specs...


Toshiba Satellite M100/800 Notebook
Intel Core Solo processor T1300 1.66GHz, 512MB RAM, 60GB HDD, DL DVD SuperMulti drive, Windows XP Professional, 14.1" TruBrite widescreen monitor.
Features:
PROCESSOR – Intel Core Solo Processor T1300 with Enhanced Intel Speedstep Technology 1.66GHz (667MHz)
MEMORY - 512MB DDR2 (533)
HARD DRIVE - 60GB (5400rpm) SATA
OPTICAL DRIVE - DVD SuperMulti Double⁄Dual Layer Drive
READ AND WRITE SPEED – Read: CD-ROM 24x, DVD-ROM 8x; Write: CD-R 24x, CD-RW 4x, HS CD-RW 10x, DVD-R 8x, DVD-R DL 2x, DVD-RW 4x, DVD+R 8x, DVD+R DL 2.4x, DVD+RW 4x, DVD-RAM 5x
COLOUR DISPLAY - 14.1" TruBrite Widescreen XGA (CSV High-brightness) Active Matrix
RESOLUTION - 1280 x 800
VIDEO - Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 900 (945GM) with up to 128MB shared video memory (UMA)
TV-OUT PORT – S-Video
AUDIO - Intel High Definition Audio
LAN - Intel GBit TX Ethernet; Integrated Intel Pro Wireless 3945 802.11abg
MODEM - International V.92 data modem + fax
SPEAKERS - Premium harman⁄kardon speakers
CARD READER –5-in-1 card reader Adapter
USB PORT - 4 x Hi-Speed USB 2.0 ports
PC CARD SLOT - One PC Card slot supports one Type II PC Card
IEEE1394 PORT - Yes
INFRA-RED PORT – CIR with Remote Control
BLUE TOOTH - Integrated Bluetooth antenna only (BT ready)
SECURITY OPTIONS - Integrated Biometrics - UPEC Fingerprint reader
SOFTWARE – Microsoft Windows XP Professional SP2 (OEM), Toshiba Utilities, Microsoft OneNote 2003, Microsoft IE v6.0, Windows Movie Maker, Record Now! Basic for TOSHIBA, DLA for Toshiba, Toshiba Speech System, Toshiba Touch and launch, ConfigFree, Intervideo WinDVD, WinDVD Creator 2 Platinum, Norton Antivirus (inc 90 day subscription), Adobe Acrobat Reader v7.0.5, Express Media Player (CD + DVD)
ESTIMATED BATTERY LIFE - Up to 3 hours
WEIGHT - Approximately 2.45kg (may vary with spec)
WARRANTY – 1 year international parts and labour warranty. Domestic warranty includes onsite courier pickup and return service
CONTACT NUMBER FOR WARRANTY, SERVICE & SUPPORT - 13 30 70


I also get free MS Office and a bag thrown in, which is good because I need those things so I can hopefully get some writing in while I'm in Adelaide next month...

I'm also getting a router so I can be wireless in the house (and at Maccas, when away)... I'm very excited about all of this...

I also popped into Target today to see if they had any trampolines with safety nets left from their catologue, but no, all sold out, too bad... I keep needing to find outdoorsy stuff to keep the boys occupied so they're not inclined to leave the yard, argh! Maybe I should just shackle them to the front porch with long chains and anklets (yes, I AM only joking)...

Ok, so couldn't find that, but as serendipity would have it, there was a sale on floor stock, and they had a tv cabinet there within my desired price range, and the cost of delivery it home was very reasonable, and meant that, on the whole, I'd save about $300 0n anything I could have bought new from Ikea, and about $60 on anything I could have bought second hand on ebay, so yay for Serendipity!!! Bought the cabinet and it's being delivered tomorrow morning...

So, then there is only the boys' shelving unit, and I'm all spent up, LOL... Oh and paying of that dastardly credit card...

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Ok, moving right along...

After my hissy fit in the last post... I've decided to gear it back a bit... Other people's lives are their business, not mine...

So, right now I'm doing all my research and counting down to R day - redundancy day!

I can't wait, Dave has agreed to give a fixed lump sum from his redundancy (which is partly what he owes me for all the money I put towards our debt last September, and partly just because, well, I earned that money right along side him, by listening to all his troubles at work, rofl)...

So, I've spent the money in my head already (wouldn't you know)... Here's my plan of action...

* Pay off my credit card, and reduce the limit from $2000 to $500 (and they'd better not try and tell me I can't do it all at once, or I'll go to a current affair show and expose how the banks are trying to keep people in debt)...

* Buy a laptop computer and a router so I can be wireless within the house (ok, so I have to plug into a power connection once the battery is used up, but you know what I mean)...

* Buy a tv cabinet so I can lock the tv and dvd and video players away from little hands, yay!!!

* Buy a Expedit shelving unit from Ikea for the boys room, in the possibly vain hope of keeping their room in some semblance of order now that they've acquired more toys... Looks like this, but I might get it in black...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, we're also going to visit my parents for a week or so, yay! Dave's first airplane ride EVER!!! (how on earth do you get to be 47 and NEVER have flown in your life???)...

Because of the other stuff I'm getting, I'm also rearranging the house again (yeah, I seem to manage to organise to do this at least twice a year, don't I?)... So the old tv stand will go into the corner of the dining room with all the plastic containers in it. I'm not sure what I'll put on it, but maybe just photos or candles or something...

The bookshelf currently in the boys' room with go into Bryn's corner of the loungeroom with his toys and books on it...

The boys drawers will be moved to the opposite wall from where they are now, and their table and chairs will go to where they current bookshelf is, while the new bookshelf will go to where the drawers, table and chairs currently are...

Oooh, I'm so excited!!!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Can't say what I'm really thinking right now...

This was going to be a blog railing at people moaning about their lives, but even as I wrote I realised I could hurt or offend people I'm not actually talking about. Horrible things happen in people's lives and I'm not talking about those people or their lives...

But I'm soooo frustrated at people who moan and complain about their lives and AREN'T willing to do anything to really make a change... I've had a gut full of people saying, "Don't judge me"... And I'm not just talking about the obvious people who actually SAY that... I'm talking about the people who don't necessarily say it, but spend a lot of energy getting upset and defending every microcosm of their thoughts and activities, because obviously they feel judged.

We are our own worst enemies when it comes to the judgement stakes.

We judge ourselves the harshest, and see judgement everywhere, even when none is actually there...

I'm sick to death of not being able to have an opinion without others re-writing my opinion as a personalised judgement on them. And I'm sick of not being able to say anything to anyone without having to run it through my head a few thousand times, scrutinising it for any un-pc-ness...

Even in my own blog, I can't REALLY say what I think, with a million caveates...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

All day long my kids moan, it's not fair, it's not fair... I'm rather concerned that they will grow up to become exactly the sort of people I'm frustrated by. People who know what they WANT to do, but don't do it because they're afraid of being judged externally... Or who judge themselves internally, then go on the attack at others for voicing what they themselves are feeling, and defend what they themselves judge themselves for...

If you feel what your doing, or not doing, is wrong, THEN DON'T DO IT!!! Don't just sit there and make excuses and lament about feeling bad... (oh, yeah, in case you're wondering, I'm as much directing this at ME as at anyone else)

I truly believe what Dr Phil says about your life reflecting your real priorities. Look at your life, does it reflect what you claim is important to you? If not, shouldn't you re-evaluate what IS important to you, and be honest with yourself and others about it - judgement be damned. If you re-evaluate and find you don't like what is obviously important to you (rather than what you would like to be important to you), shouldn't you work at changing your priorities?

It's been about three weeks since I felt this riled up last, so many I am doing some sort of blind cycling???

Here's a quote from someone on one of my homeschooling groups... I read this and thought, now if I EVER said THAT on AB, it would be WWIII, LOL... If I admitted to agreeing with this statement, even to some extent, I risk losing a lot of friendships, LOL... Am I being true to myself, and I being honest ABOUT myself, or am I just afraid that I'll be judged as judgemental... This quote was in response to whether or not the Govt. can REALLY claim to know or recognise better than a child's parents the child's potential or how to support the child in reaching their potential...

Exactly the thought that crosses my mind whenever people question Home Edn.
Though those parents, and non-parents, who are, or have become, detached from
their children because the kids have been in institutional care since before
school age could be excused, as they are not as in intouch with their kids as
those of us who spend 24/7 (or close to that) with their kids. And even those
same detached parents become quickly reattached to their kid's potentials once
they start to home educate....

ROFL, now if only I didn't need friends, then I could be as judgemental as I liked, and really let rip with what I think about society, and education, and people who feel sorry for themselves and don't do what they know they must to live up to their ideals or improve their situation... (BTW, that doesn't mean I'm having a go at my friends, it just means my friends might think I'm having a go at them, or they may just not want to associate with someone who is willing to be so openly judgemental).

Friday, March 10, 2006

Fine tuning the weightloss thang...

Ok, well if you look at my graph over there on your right you can see that this week, I didn't actually lose any weight. In fact, I gained 300g. Ok, 300g isn't a lot and I'm not panicking about it, I suspect some of it is muscle gain from all the walking I've done this week (muscle weighing more than fat), and some of it is water retention from the takeaway pizza we had last night, and then some of it is because most of our meals this last week consisted of rice, bread, or pasta based dishes.

So, this coming week, I'm going to make sure we eat a lot more salads and vegie based meals again, because it seems to me that I'm sensitive to carbs, in that even if the meals are low in fat and immediate sugar, I will dramatically slow my weightloss by consuming even moderate amounts of carbs.

I have this mini goal in the back of my mind (well, now it's in the front of my mind because I'm putting it into words) of getting down below 90kg by the end of March. I have three weeks. I think it is pretty attainable without too much effort on my part. I just have to remain conscious of what I'm doing...

One thing I'm kind of proud of this week is all the walking I got in. I did three dedicated walks, but on top of that I also took the bus to and from the shopping centre two or three times, instead of calling a cab, thus not only getting in a bit of extra exercise that way, but also saving money!!! (each round trip being at least $10)...

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

OMG! Kaeden is sooo beautiful!!!

Haven't got long until ER starts, but couldn't end the day without a rave about the truly beautiful Kaeden!!! Just briefly dropped by Laura's today to drop of some food and got a peek at the two day old Kaeden!!! Hey, they say all newborns look alike, and perhaps that is true because Laura and Rog don't look anything like Dave and myself (lucky them), and Elijah doesn't look like any of our boys, but Kaeden just reminded me so much of my boys, his headshape, and the colour of his skin, and just generally really, though nothing specific... He's sooo lovely, Laura! You did a great job growing him, and even though he was a very healthy nearly 5kg, he is sooo well proportioned (being 59cm long at birth, probably the longest child I've ever heard of!)...

I didn't have my camera with me, and besides he was feeding and it wouldn't have been right to disturb him with a flash, but really he is so very beautiful, I just had to have a rave!!!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Bake Day :)

Yummo!!! My house smells DIVINE right now...

I have wholegrain bread baking in the breadmaker (with two and a half hours to go)... And I have raspberry and white choc muffins on the rack cooling!!! The bread is a premix from a packet but the muffins were from scratch :)... I'm feeling very domesticated today!

ETA: a photo, and I have to admit, the bread is already gone!!! Dave came home just as it finished and was all tired and emotional - it really struck him today that the Union is closing down forever - and he just wanted something quick and simple for dinner so I made cgeesy doorstops out of the loaf for everyone (thickly sliced multigrain, buttered with grated cheese and sweet chilli sauce (optional) on top and under the griller for 5 minutes)... Not overly healthy, but a hell of a lot better than takeaway pizza...

Monday, March 06, 2006

Exercise... Compromise...

Ok, so I had a think, and decided to do the following... I'll still count up to 1000, BUT I'm only going to set the goal of AT LEAST 500 minutes, and anything over and above 500 will be bonus minutes! I've changed my pie chart to reflect this, and I did another walk at lunch time while Bryn slept which meant I was able to power walk, instead of just a fast pram walk. I have to say, just like when I was doing walks before I conceived Bryn, I'm really enjoying feeling my body work, and pushing myself (I'm hardly a commonwealth athlete, LOL, but I'm actually enjoy the challenge)...

I had a bit of an extra spring in my step today though because just before i left I found an sms from Leah on my mobile saying Laura was in labour! Baby K was born at 4,30pm-ish, and entered the world weighing over 10lbs! And that is about all I know so far, and the suspense is killing me!!!

What a beautiful, sunny Melbourne day to be born on, little heart!!! Welcome Earthside, and Well Done Laura!!!

Hey, wait a minute... or 1000...

I was having a think about it...

As mentioned a couple of blogs ago. I've taken on the challenge of doing 1000 minutes of exercise this month... Sounds reasonable enough, doesn't it? Well, hmmmm, I just sat down and calculated what that entails. Basically, it's 1000 divided by 31, which is 32.258064516129032258064516129032... In other words, EVERYDAY I would need to do 32.5 minutes of exercise (rounded of to the nearest half minute)... Hmmmmmmmm... Maybe I should be aiming for half that, then I'd only have to do 32.5 minutes every second day, which is far more within my capability, LOL...

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Noooooooo! I'm not ready...

I read a couple of posts today from people describing their babies growing up and not being babies any more, these "not babies" were only 5-8 months older than Bryn... I'm so not ready for him to grow up! I've never enjoyed the "baby months" as much as I have with Bryn, he is so adorable (not that the other weren't, I was just in a "it's soooo much work" frame of mind, too much so to enjoy them like I do him :(...).

Bryn is definitely in the seperation anxiety stage now, he can't stand for me to be on the other side of the room and NOT holding him, even if Dad is showering him with affection and attention. With the other two, I really found this stage hard. With Bryn there are certainly times when I kinda wish he'd be happy with Dad, just for a little while longer, but I view his anxiety so differently this time. For some reason I can see the great love behind it, I can SEE that he is literally in love with me and just wants to be right by my side all the time, like the infatuation stage of a new relationship.

I feed him and glance down to find him staring at me, willing me to look at him, and then he breaks out in smiles because I do!

It's so amazing and deep, and I just don't know how I'm going to deal with it when he reaches that inevitable stage of his life where he will start to grow away from me, to form his own seperate identity (in just a few month, eeep!)...

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can...

Here's our very own little Spiderman :)...

Breastmilk Donation

Belinda came over this morning with a pump and I was able to pump about 80ml to be taken over to Laura's for Elijah (who is sick with croup)... I've always said I was happy to do this for anyone who needed it, but this is the first time I've had the opportunity. I hadn't actually expressed in six years before this morning, so wasn't sure how I'd go. 80mls isn't a lot, but a good start I think, I've kept the pump here and have some storage bags, so I'll pump again and store the milk in case Laura or anyone else needs it...

My cleaning effort

Well, I've gotten some cleaning done - it's not perfect (haven't dusted and no floors washed), but at least it not feral. I also did the toilet and bathroom. I need to get some sort of cleaning routine going to maintain it, and I'm feeling the need to go through everything again with a fine tooth comb and get rid of stuff... I hate clutter. I'm not a minimalist by any standard, but i just hate cupboard and drawers full of stuff we don't use anymore... Anyway, here is what two of the three rooms, I photographed on Thursday, look like now...
LOL, I had to swap out this last photo, because Dave spied a sliver of his hairy belly in it and complained that I was pimping him on the net... Oy, Vanity!!!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Na na na na na na na na.. Batman!!!

Here is the big boy wearing the new pjs Dad bought him today, complete with detachable cape!!! Cool, huh?

Dave isn't one for buying the boys clothes, that is almost always my job, but he has bought them stuff off his own bat... When Erik was one, he bought him a black tshirt with the Bat signal on it. When he was two, it was Spiderman pjs, when Erik was 4 and Luey was 2, they each got tshirts with Batman and Spiderman respectively, this last spring (aged 6 and 4) they got tshirts with the Batman emblem and The Incredibles, and today it was Batman pjs for Erik and Spiderman pjs for Luey (who was feeling off colour and was asleep when Erik modelled his)...

See any pattern???

Anyway, there were a hit, and I'm sure they'll be worn almost everywhere, except to bed, hahahaha!

Also got the boys some runners. Was going to get them sandals, because their old one are falling apart, but there wasn't a sandal to be found in Target, only winter shoes... Have to take Erik's back though because somehow we managed to come home with a size 13 and a size 1 (I suspect, somewhere out in suburbia there is a little boy Erik's age with slightly different sized feet, wearing the matching pair to Erik's odd pair, which is great for that boy, but a pain in the foot for Erik)...

Got myself a pair of red Mary Janes, but poor Dave missed out (not that he wanted red Mary Janes) because there were no shoes in size 9 mens... Of course, the irony is that we went looking for replacement shoes for him, and came home with replacement shoes for everyone else...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I NEED to organise...

Do you ever feel like if you could just get the house sorted, and a plan for your future sorted, life would run on rails???

Whenevr I feel overwhelmed, I have this feverish urge to just "clear a path" through the chaos that is my life. I feel like that at the moment, though I'm seriously suffering from lethargy too...

I'm going to REALLY put this out there and say, "Look at the state my house has gotten into" over the past week... This is partly due to being in and out a lot. Partly due to starting a cleaning process one day, but not finishing it, and so things end up looking twice as bad as before (the pile of dirty clothes that was just by the loungeroom door has since been strewn all over the loungeroom), and partly because I cannot be fagged dealing with it until Dave is home to support me in facing it (good to have an ally in the war against household chaos)...

I'm vowing right now, to report back here during or after the weekend with photos of a pristine house!!!

I'm feeling "chaotic" because I'm waiting for Dave to finish up at Swinburne, and for us to start on the new era in our life. I want to study, but I don't know how that will fit in. I'm feeling very unfocused, and I think Dave is feeling the same way, and our house is reflecting it...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Hello March!

Well, my new exercise plan kicked off to a great start today! I took the boys to playgroup this morning and decided to sling Bryn instead of pram him... This made it a lot easier getting on and off buses, by I have to admit by early afternoon my left shoulder was a bit sore... Anyway, I walked from Chadstone shopping centre to the park, which was about 10 minutes, then back to the shopping centre, then all around the shopping centre for about 45 minutes (had a look through Toys'en'masse and found a freestanding, height adjustable to 6', basketball hoop for $70 - will go get one for the boys soon)... Then had lunch, then walked around (at a faster pace) for another 40 minutes, then took the bus to our shopping centre and another bus to a block away from home, then walked... All in all, I reckon I walked over 2 hours with Bryn as a 9+kg balaste, so I've rounded it to 100 minutes, and superhappy with that!

Luey was nearly run over today!!!

We were nearly home, and I was carefully watching Luey who was walking about 10 metres ahead of me. Then I realised I could see Erik behind me, so I asked out loud where he was, and Luey points and says he's across the road. Now our road is fairly quiet and Erik does look when crossing, but I don't like him crossing it alone and I proceeded to tell (yell) him so. Pointing out that while he might think he is big enough to cross on his own, Luey certainly isn't and doesn't have the wherewithall to check for cars, and just as I'm pressing this point home, Luey runs across the road... I yell at Luey then look up the street to see a hatchback bearing down on him, and I screamed like there was no tomorrow!

The driver stopped the car about a metre or so from Luey and wound down her window, she must have been around 60, and she asked if I was ok, and I asked if she was ok, and then a teacher from the school came out and ask if we were ok, and meanwhile Erik and Luey have scuttled into our yard... I thought I was going to have a heart attack, and I was really worried about the lady in the car, but she seemed fine...

When I got into the house I kind of lost it with both boys, yelling and ranting and carrying on...

I seriously had one of those "life flashes before your eyes" moments, except that I could see the future, ringing Dave to tell him, going to the funeral, the great big empty hole Luey would leave in our lives!

Well, luckily for us the driver had her wits about her and none of that happened...

Jen brought over some muffins about 20 minutes later and I was able to tell someone which relieved a lot of built up stress, and the boys loved the muffins, despite them being savoury, Erik wants another one after dinner, LOL!

Dave finally got his figures for his redundancy and they look good, the tax free amount is higher than we estimmated so now he can't begrudge me that laptop, hehehe! Well, he'd better not try anyway!

Teenagers and the failing parent...