Sunday, March 05, 2006

Noooooooo! I'm not ready...

I read a couple of posts today from people describing their babies growing up and not being babies any more, these "not babies" were only 5-8 months older than Bryn... I'm so not ready for him to grow up! I've never enjoyed the "baby months" as much as I have with Bryn, he is so adorable (not that the other weren't, I was just in a "it's soooo much work" frame of mind, too much so to enjoy them like I do him :(...).

Bryn is definitely in the seperation anxiety stage now, he can't stand for me to be on the other side of the room and NOT holding him, even if Dad is showering him with affection and attention. With the other two, I really found this stage hard. With Bryn there are certainly times when I kinda wish he'd be happy with Dad, just for a little while longer, but I view his anxiety so differently this time. For some reason I can see the great love behind it, I can SEE that he is literally in love with me and just wants to be right by my side all the time, like the infatuation stage of a new relationship.

I feed him and glance down to find him staring at me, willing me to look at him, and then he breaks out in smiles because I do!

It's so amazing and deep, and I just don't know how I'm going to deal with it when he reaches that inevitable stage of his life where he will start to grow away from me, to form his own seperate identity (in just a few month, eeep!)...

1 comment:

Leah said...

*sniff sniff* :)

Teenagers and the failing parent...