Monday, May 29, 2006

Big Day Out



So, we went into the city and met up with mum, step-dad, my brother and mum's friend. It was strange, and not at all strange all at one time. He doesn't look very different; thicker set, and grey in his hair, and he occassionally wears glasses, but that's it, other than that he's exactly the same.



Funny though, now that I'm a whole lot older, he is different. All those things about him that were extremely charming and attractive when I was an oversexed teen, are now not at all attractive.

All my friends and myself in the Salvos back in the late 80s had huge crushes on this guy, he was good looking, talented, charming, chatty... Yesterday, I saw those same traits, but I also saw a guy who's self-esteem was laid on shaky ground, and basically he was afraid people might not like him. He had this slightly anxious way of talking just to fill the silences, and I realised this was something he had always, and when I was a teen I thought it was because he was so clever but yesterday I realised he was just really worried that we'd all realise he was boring (which he isn't, he's actually very nice, just lacking confidence)... I actually felt a bit like a big sister to him, MOY strange.

The boys had fun though, they got these MEGA cones (yes, cone shapes chip buckets) of hot chips, plus muffins. They were really well behaved for about 40 minutes, and then it just got too much for Luey, and despite being stuffed with stodge, he found the energy to chase off around the ACMI lounge and out into Federation Square - Dave chased out after him so fast my mum was in shock!

Anyway, after photos, we all said goodbye, and I couldn't help but feel like it was any other Sunday night, 18 years ago in Norway, and we'd be seen BT in the morning. The truth is we may never see him again, but it just didn't feel that way...

Hey, do you just love the middle pic of Erik with my mum on one side and step-dad on the other... The joke being, their surname is Ham, and they were making Erik into a "Ham Sandwich" - I'll just leave you all with that thought, hehehe...

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Woeful Me

I'm going to start this on a cheery note because basically this blog is just going to be a whinge about my pathetic human state...

But anyhoo, look at this gorgeous cover!!! I got it a month ago and have been waiting to lanolise it, but I just COULDN'T wait another day!!! Soooo cute! A bug for my little bug! And even without being lanolised, it worked a treat, he even had a sleep in it, and was nice and dry for hours! Now, I'm giving it a good airing so it doesn't get a case of the stinkies...

Ok, so now, onto my whinge!

For some inexplicable reason (that is, I'm not self-aware enough to know why), I have this deep set need to be INCLUDED... Actually, it's more that I don't want to be EXCLUDED... Even in stuff I might otherwise not really be bothered with, if I sense that I'm not being invited along or not being acknowledged as a participant, I feel this overwhelming urge to participate, though I don't have the time or energy, or even much to contribute. And worse still (because I hate this in other people) I CRAVE acknowledgement for my participation!

Often I participate and don't think I want or need acknowledgement, until it isn't forthcoming. When it is forthcoming, I feel embarrassed that people notice, and I just want to shrink back into the wall, but if everyone around me is acknowledged and NOT ME, I feel like the invisible woman...

Case in point. Mum and Lester arrived last night. Late. Today, they are meeting up with mum's old college mate, Bjorn-Tore who has flown in from Oslo to join a crew sailing around the Pacific (he's an engineer), and so mum has driven over especially to meet him because she hasn't seen him in nearly 16 years.

Now, I know him, we all used to live on campus at Mum's college for two years, but I haven't seen him in nearly 18 years, and I really wasn't their peer (though he is only 7 years older than me and 14 years younger than Mum)... I'd love to meet him, too, and thought that was the plan. It still is the plan, but Mum is very sketchy on the details, and that has me on edge. I'm worried about being excluded from this meeting.

What would I have to contribute to this meeting, well nothing, really! I just want to say "Hi" and take some photos, and show off Dave and the boys, so he can go back to Norway and tell people he met us and we're doing brilliantly, and (as it is with the Salvos up there), it can spread like wildfire just how great we're doing - and all my old friends, who I have had NO contact with in over a decade can hear that I'm married and have three kids and am generally very successful in life...

Pathetic, isn't it?

And this is only one of three incidences this weekend that have had me in a tizz about my involvement status (won't go into the other two in case I embarrass myself totally)...

So, yeah, what's with that?

I'm not really a JOINER, per se, but I'm phobic about being excluded or overlooked...

Friday, May 26, 2006

An Update on things...


Wow, so much going on atm, LOL...

Knitted this cute stocking hat for Sienna (love this photo, she looks like a itty bitty pirate in that stripey top with the stripey hat), think I'll enjoy making these, they're tres cute! Also knitting with some GORGEOUS Alpaca darlings! Just devine! Mum is bringing me some more that she has spun herself, but she thinks I'm going to need to knit it up with a silk thread to stop it stretching after washing. That's fine by me, Alpaca and silk hats ought to be very nice, especially if I use coloured silk with natural wool...

What else...

Oh yeah, mum is arriving here tomorrow, this is a surprise visit that was only arranged this past week. She has just recently gotten in contact with friends of hers from her College days in Norway, and then her closest friend from those days got himself a job of a ship to Australia (as an engineer) and is arriving in Perth on tomorrow, then flying over to Melbourne very early Sunday morning to meet us all. He could have flown to Adelaide, so I'm very grateful he is coming over here and paying for Mum and Lester to come over too!

Oh, and here's a funny. Lots of people have recently told me I look like my mum... Well, today I certainly did!!! In this pic, you can basically see what my mum looked like in her twenties (no, I'm not claiming to look like *I'm* in my twenties)... In fact, somewhere in the archives of our old photos I'm sure there is one of mum wearing jeans, a shirt not unlike mine, and with her hair in two pigtails... The boys said I looked like a little girl (which they thought was a good thing apparently).... So, anyway, the metamorphosis is complete!

Oh, I totally forgot to add, yesterday Jayne and Laura and I were talking about our kids first words, and Jayne mentioned that her daughter's first word was "Mama", and I came in with my expert knowledge, saying that
"mama", "dada" and "bubba" are not generally considered official first words because they are universal sounds babies make that we (societies around the world) have given meaning to... Jayne argued that if the child is*using* the word to mean "Mum" or "Dad", it would have to be counted as a first official word. I agree, but said my kids had never used these words first up with any sign of assigning meaning to them which is also meaningful in our society...

Well, guess who made a liar of me TODAY!!! LOL, was on the phone to my mum, and Dave had Bryn and had come to sit next to me on the couch. Bryn immediately started motioning to coming over to me, but I was ignoring him, and then suddenly, clear as a bell he reaches out to me and goes, "Mama, Mama!" in that complete, "I'm talking to YOU!!!" tone of voice!!!

Hahahahaha! It's his first OBVIOUS and CLEAR word!!!


Saturday, May 20, 2006

Blue boy stuff


This is a blog about Luey atm...

We figured out something about him just before. Blue boy is a huge fan of Charlie and Lola, and yesterday I bought him a C&L book to add to his collection. Now, he wasn't supposed to get the book until his birthday next month, but then this morning he had to go to the Drs and he didn't want to go and stated he wasn't going, and well, the book is called, "I am too absolutely small for school" and is about how Lola doesn't want to go to school, but realises in the end that school isn't as bad as she thought it would be, and so I thought I could use it to show how things can be nicer than you expect...


So, on the promise of getting to read the story when he got back, we went to the Drs. Luey has had a cesty cough
for a couple of days, but in the past twenty four hours he's been almost constantly wheezing as well, and because Dave has suffered with asthma most of his life, he wanted the wheeze checked out.


As it turns out, Luey Blue has asthma, treatable with a puffer and a spacer.


When we got home, Luey got to read his book and was very pleased with that. I later had a look at the book and discovered that Lola has an invisible friend. Now a few weeks ago Luey developed and invisible friend, I thought it peculiar that his friend wasn't imaginary, just invisible.
Also, I noted that there is a C&L book called, "I will not ever, never eat a tomato", and yep, you guessed it, the Blue boy doesn't eat tomato... Do you see a pattern here???

Another interesting story about Luey. The other day he was talking about how I "growed" three babies (Erik, Bryn and himself)... Then he said, "When you grow the next two babies..." and I said, I wasn't growing any more babies, and he said, "Yes, you are, I can feel it!" LOL So, Luey feels I will grow another baby, not surprisingly, Dave has no comment to pass on that...


Yeah, so our little boy Blue has asthma. This is Dave's worst nightmare come true, of course, but as I told him, it's not that big a deal these days, every second child has asthma, it's so common, he won't stand out, and the treatments are pretty good, and besides, he hasn't had an "attack" as such, so Luey isn't anxious about it himself or anything...

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The half way point, and other news!

Weighed in at 85.5kg today! That's the halfway point from what I weighed three weeks after Bryn was born and what I want to weigh (106 and 65kg).... And yesterday I wore the lovely pin striped pants I bought a couple of weeks ago that didn't fit (size 16)...

In other news...

Today Bryn showed us that he's figured out how to getting from sitting to crawling and crawling to sitting! He also attempted to put himself up on his piano - which I attribute to spending yesterday watching Beck's little Oscar pulling up on the couch - Yay! for Oscar, but Oh Dear! for me if Bryn starts pulling up already - then I'll get NO knitting done whatsoever!!!

His diet has suddenly expanded too, now he eats banana rice cereal and vegemite toast... Ok, not exactly what you might think to be appropriate first foods, but well, he just turns his nose up at everything else (my other boys didn't do this, though Luey also preferred finger foods over the sloppy stuff - so didn't start eating until he could manage the finger foods)...

Ok, better go, Bryn is as Dave descibes it, "creeping around like a miniture Hoover sucking up shit of the floor".

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Expensive, but VERY cute!!!


Isn't this hat the cutest thing??? Ok, so it's not sitting on Bryn's head just right (you try putting a wool hat on a child crawling at 100 kph!), but still, the idea is there, and isn't it just so URCHIN like??? Bought the wool at the ABA Mother's Play Day at Albert Park on Friday. The wool itself was rather exxy for my liking (bloody $17 for 100gr!!!), but I really needed to break a fifty and it looked sort of interesting, thought I might get a couple of cute hats out of it... Well, this hat barely made a dent in the ball of wool, the strand is very fine, this was knitted on 4m, but it really needs 2.5 or 2.75m needles, perfect for newborn hats, and I reckon I could get a few out of just 100gr... Still, I like my Utiku wool, much easier to knit with, not as fiddly...

Friday was a pretty good day actually. Lovely to meet up with old friends and meet and make new ones. Bryn seemed to really enjoy the company of the other babies too, as much as an 8 month old can, he even managed a nap!

Had a god awful toasted veggo pocket bread thingy, it had goat's cheese on it, I think, could only stomach a couple of bites and then had to give the rest away.

Bought myself a photo rounder too, from the Creative Memories people. They tried to sell me a party, but I soon put a stop to that by telling the lady a friend had had one and then the sales person had never gotten back to us about our orders, and luckily we hadn't paid up front. She was a bit stunned by that and very apologetic, but also happy I was still willing to by stuff from CM then, LOL...

Renewed my ABA membership and got a free copy of the "Breastfeeding... Naturally" book which features an itty bitty pic of me tandem-feeding Erik and Luey on the cover - just had to have that momento!

Yeah, so a productive and fun day...

More to come later, have some cute pics of Bryn exploring the house, now that he can crawl, but must off and chase him now, LOL...

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Getting slack

Yeah, geez, it's been a while since I blogged, didn't really feel like it this week...

Got my period for the first time after having Bryn. Was feeling a bit short changed. It was 19 months before it returned after Luey was born, and Bryn feeds as much as Luey ever didn't, in fact in the past few weeks he seems to be feeding continuously through the night, so I can't figure out why it came back so soon this time (ok, nearly 9 months isn't that short, but still, I was hoping for at least another 10 months respite...)...

It was a really weird, short period, too. Only lasted about 36 hours. Go figure, normally it's five days...

So, at least I was right on the money the other week when I said I thought I'd ovulated.

What's getting to me is, of course, there are no more babies on the books for us. Not that I wouldn't have another in, say, 2.5 years, but Dave is well and truly not interested. I don't really hold it against him. He's 47 now, and I wouldn't want to get pg this year, so he'd be at least 49 before the next one arrive, probably more like 50. So, then he's be 65 with a 25, 23, 19, and 15 year old... He's already feeling overtired and old all the time now, with one more he'd feel decrepid...

But still, so this was my first "no more babies" period, and well, the thought of doing this another 240 (12x20, if menopause hits around 55 years as it usually does in my mums family) times, doesn't exactly thrill me... Oh well, I need to be a little more Zen about it all, I think...

Oh, and craving chocolate wasn't fun, and while I didn't indulge the chocolate craving, I did indulge a little, and so I only managed to lose 100g this last week (must update the graph!)... Still, as was pointed out to me, it's a loss, and that's always better than a gain...

Also seemed a little knitting challenged this week, made more mistakes than usual and under up pulling up nearly a whole set of longies thanks to a dropped stitch that I just couldn't pick up without it being glaringly obvious... Hopefully next week will be a bit more sunny on the whole...

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Why I haven't posted much recently...

Been busy knitting... (this is just me catologuing this stuff before it gets handed over to it's owners - all these items are spoken for already, next week I knit for sale again...)

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Nothing special

Wanted to do an update blog, but can't think of what to say...

Oh yeah, Bryn crawled today!!! He's creeping across the floor now like he's been doing it all his life, AND this afternoon he got up on hands and knees and started rocking! Now I know this is what all babies do, but isn't it amazing when it's your own baby doing it for the first time. This morning was like watching a bulb flash on in his head. He crawled, then we saw this look come over his face when he realised what he'd done, a real Aha! moment... Watching your own babies brain at work is just awesome!

Am nearly finished knitting Kate's longies and hats. Tried a new approach with these, and I'm personally much happier with the look. Doing something special with the hats, too, will take pictures when they're done...

On the parenting front...

Have come to realise my trigger for bad parenting behaviour. Basically, it's when I'm alone with all three boys at once. I can do it fine for 2-3 hours and then I don't cope so well. The thing is, this not coping so well kind of just sneaks up on me. I don't realise I'm not coping until I'm doing something I regret even as I'm doing it... Out of nowhere I'll overreact to something that wouldn't otherwise bother me...

So, we've had some good weeks here with Dave being home all the time, and then a couple of sour incidents this week when he was out during the day a bit doing stuff...

Thing is, he has been tentatively offered some work by a mate who runs his own business. Now the work may not start for another 2-4 months, but then he'll go back to 2-3 days a week of not being home for 10+ hours a day... Before then I have to figure out what to do to a) recognise myself getting stressed before I lash out and b) find more constructive ways to release my own stress...

Teenagers and the failing parent...