Friday, September 08, 2006

Don't you just hate it when...

You have a conversation with a person, and you think you understand their pov on a topic, and that they understand yours, and even if you don't necessarily agree, there is a mutual respect, only to find out later that the same person who said one thing to you in private is publicly saying something else that seems to be sniping at you?

Makes you not want to bother talking to people anymore, really...

I've had this happen on three seperate occassions recently. I know my pov isn't in the majority on many issues, but hey, if you don't agree, or you have a bone to pick, please pick it with me in person... Don't huddle in the security of the masses, because that just hurts me, and breaks my trust in you.

5 comments:

anastasia_wolf said...

Well I haven't said anything privately to you so it can't be me LOL!!

I understand how you feel, but maybe you should bring it up with them? I know I often read blog entries like this and get all paranoid that I've unknowingly done something to offend someone, and they are taking an oblique dig at me.

Sif said...

I can see what you're saying, Stacey, but a couple of things occur to me here...

1. They didn't both to bring up with me how they were feeling before announcing it to others, even though I gave them an opportunity to do so...

2. If anyone reading this had ANY reason to believe this post was about them, then maybe they SHOULD think about how they interact with others...

3. The chance of the people I'm actually talking about either identifying themselves as a culprit or even reading this blog, is pretty small...

4. It's my blog and I'll be childish if I want to, so ner...

Leah said...

love number 4 :)

casso said...

Perhaps they felt like their own views weren't particularly worth standing by? Or that they didn't have well thought out reasoning behind them so they didn't feel that they could respond appropriately to your discussion (since I imagine that you were able to be quite eloquent on your own viewpoint)?

Or perhaps they don't have firmly established beliefs at all and wanted desperately to fit in with whoever they were talking to at the time (you one day, this other person the next)?

Something to remember is that when you are a person with strong convictions and belief systems, it can be quite confronting and intimidating to some people. I'm not saying this excuses this person's behaviour but that as the more confident of the two (I think it's fair to say that given the behaviour you describe) you should be the one to also be more forgiving.

Just my opinion but I've been in this position a few times myself and know that my strong left wing opinions on everything from politics to vegetarianism to child rearing seem so normal to me that I can tend to bulldoze others. So I try to hang back a bit now, give people the space to discuss their ideas and then try to introduce difference. :o)

But of course I probably woul dhave agreed with you, you know. ;o)

Cheers, Cass

Sif said...

Yep, bulldozer, that's me... Having slept on it I can see I pretty much created these situations, and perhaps they weren't even as I perceived them...

Moving right along...

Teenagers and the failing parent...