At the bottom of the Garden

I've put up a bunch of pics here...

Here are a few I didn't put on that thread though...

I really liked this pic of Rach and Matty because of it's "private moment in a public space" feel - oh and the fact that Rach can balance and run across a giant balloon pillow thingy without dropping her son!

Here's Bryn thinking, What do you mean all the champagne is gone???

I love this photo for the reflected light on Bryn's face. It's taken at dusk and light was just magical!

I love this photo because of how calm and confident Kate looks, and how focused little Emma is, also the contrast of the bright little child in the towel against the long black sillouette of her mum...

I was struck by how grown up Luey is looking suddenly. He was extremely confident in the water with his vest on (and at one time off, to my horror)...

This photo makes me laugh. This was the second day on the trip and on the first day I'd taken Bryn into the pool and he'd wailed for ab…

I'll start this blog by saying, this isn't a whinge, I'm not unhappy :)... In fact, in the light of recent posts I'm very happy with how I'm handling things, I think there has definitely been a bit of a shift...

The thing is, of course, with all the preps for the boys going to school, and then with Erik actually starting school, and Luey thinking he is missing out and not understanding why HE can't go for full days too, there has been a lot of upheaval.

As well as this, Erik is totally jazzed about being at school and so he's finding it hard to go to sleep at night because, as he puts it, he can't stop thinking about everything he's done all day and all the kids he's played with (both Dave and I take time with him, individually, to discuss his day, so he gets an opportunity to "get it out")...

On Friday morning he woke at 5am and he'd wet his bed. This was because he normally wakes at that time to go to the toilet, but he was extra …

Erik went to school for a full day today, and when I went to pick him up he was just coming back from his performing arts class, and his teacher (sub today, regular teacher on camp) was over the moon about his participation in the class today. She says he's very enthusiastic and a natural at acting. Erik teacher (not the PA teacher) said maybe Erik would be able to join the special performance group, even though they usually don't get to volunteer until grade three...

Oh and the PA couldn't believe Erik had only been at school for two days because he was so confident joining in!!!

Ah, I'm feeling good about this move today :)...

My mum's dad was in the theatre, he was primarily a make up artist and wig maker, but also acted (amongst other things, I think)... I myself have been on stage a bit, not that I'd ever dreamt of making a career of it, but I've been in a few musicals... So, it's not really surprising that Erik likes the limelight...

We're getting ready for a camping trip with friends next week :)...

I've been generally excited about this trip for a month now, it's my first real holiday with the boys elsewhere than my mum's, and while I love visiting my mum, she doesn't have a swimming pool, or a spa, or a giant jumping pillow, or a beach in her back yard, so this is something new and exciting!

But in recently days, an anxiousness has crept over me... First it was, how will I cope with all the kids and their excitement and restlessness. Luey is bound to completely ignore instructions or requests coming from me, he does in the everyday as it is, and Erik is bound to get hyper excited by all the goings on and not go to sleep at night... There's the whole swimming pool thing, how to watch two not-able-to-swim active, excited, overconfident boys, while also watching Bryn and trying to enjoy myself...

Next came, what will I eat, and how will I not put on 5-10kg while away, when I'm desperate…

The boys have never had their photo taken with Santa before, and Erik is nearly 7.5 years old... Today they saw Santa at our local shopping centre and basically BEGGED to be allowed to have their photo taken. I tried to discourage them, but Luey proceeded to lean against my belly at a forty five degree angle in a desperate attempt to stop me walking past Santa...

So anyway, decided seeing as there wasn't a line, we got a photo taken... By "a" I mean one, because literally two seconds after this pic was taken, Bryn realised I was standing waaaaaaay over THERE and he was stuck with Erik and Luey sitting next to some strange guy with a towel on his face...

But yeah, now we have one of "those" photos...

Erik told Santa that he wanted a Yugi board, I told him Santa had that all in hand... It's funny, yk, Erik and Luey know that the Santas at the shop are "representatives" of the Christmas spirit, and not the real St Nic they're based on, but Erik…

ARGH!

I'm really worried that I'm just caving into mainstream thinking...

Erik went to school last Thursday and Friday, and today he is sooooo restless, he's been getting up both mine and Dave's nose all morning, just bouncing about and generally acting very restless...

He thinks school is exciting, and so in comparison home is booooring now (how quickly did that happen)... Part of me is sorely tempted to just start him now and be done with it, but part of me feels like maybe I'm just "reading" him as being bored because it would be so easy to let to go to school and just deal with Luey and Bryn through the day...

But the truth is he DOES want to be at school...

I don't know what to do!

Your Vocabulary Score: B+
You have a zealous love for the English language, and many find your vocabulary edifying.
Don't fret that you didn't get every word right, your vocabulary can be easily ameliorated!How's Your Vocabulary?

Wasinteresting, and while I *liked* everything I heard, it was all a bit too good to be true, but she said to count on it, and that I'd be wanting to call her back to say, "OMG, you were right!" - Anyway, here goes...

First she asked if I'd been having headache and I said no, but actually I have now that I think about it, but that didn't come up again...

Ok, next she said there's a lot of money coming my way, a business opportunity I've been reticent to take up with another woman, but if I did I'd end up with more money than I could imagine (this is the book a friend has been saying we should write together for the past three years, but because she and I aren't completely on the same wavelength I'm concerned it'll lead to a clash)... She said there would definitely be some locking of horns over this venture but it would turn out GREAT! IF I took it up...

She said I'd been hurt in the past, and to the point of looking over my shoulder, w…

I've been avoiding posting this for the past couple of days... I've known I had to post it and put it out there to keep myself honest and accountable, but it's not something I've been looking forward to revealing...

I went to my third counselling session this week and we finally started to get down to some of the real issues, a big one being my relationship with Erik. On the periphery it involves Dave too, but as these sessions are for me and about me, the truths are also mainly about me...

So, we got to talking about my anger issues, and how Erik seems to trigger my anger so much more than Luey or Bryn, even though I know it's not him I'm angry at... One thing that came out was that Erik *knows* that some behaviour get me soooo mad, and yet he persists in doing them, and I know he has real impulse issues, I recognise them from my own childhood, but I also know he really doesn't *think* about the consequences of his choices until he is experiencing those c…

Erik had his first half day today, and when I went to pick him up he didn't want to leave, and his new friend, Matilda didn't want him to leave either and was very keen for me to know he was really enjoying being at school (as if she was afraid I'd think he wasn't and would take him away)...

I'm SOOOOO PROUD of him!!! His teachers told me he had had a marvellous time, and Mrs P (not his main teacher, but the other teacher who shares the double room he's in, and who I REALLY like), said in a slightly surprised voice, "He did so well socially! He's getting on really well with the other kids and isn't shy at all" Maybe she thinks homeschooled kids can't possibly have had the opportunity to learn useful social skills, LOL...

Ms G (Erik's main teacher) was keen to know when he'd be back and when I mentioned that he'd already told me a couple of times he wants to go full time NOW, she said he was more than welcome to do that...

Picke…

Yesterdayday I left Bryn with Dave for the longest time I ever have in his short 15 month (tomorrow) life... I went to my counselling session, then met Jen for lunch afterwards and all in all was away from him for 6 and a bit hours. Apparently, he started crying as I walked down the driveway (I heard that but kept walking, as I didn't want to confuse him by coming back and seeming concerned, afterall he was with his dad and his big brothers who love him, and who he loves and trusts)... Then Dave sat with him for a bout 10 minutes while he settled down, finally getting distracted from his upset by the appearance of B1 and B2 on ABC, LOL... After that he was fine... Went down for his nap at the normal time, slept nearly two hours, played with the boys, and was calm and smiley when I came through the front door. Had REALLY long boobies (much to my relief, LOL)... And has been fine, and went to bed as if nothing different had happened today.

This is soooo good for me to see...

I was thi…

Today I left Bryn with Dave for the longest time I ever have in his short 15 month (tomorrow) life... I went to my counselling session, then met Jen for lunch afterwards and all in all was away from him for 6 and a bit hours. Apparently, he started crying as I walked down the driveway (I heard that but kept walking, as I didn't want to confuse him by coming back and seeming concerned, afterall he was with his dad and his big brothers who love him, and who he loves and trusts)... Then Dave sat with him for a bout 10 minutes while he settled down, finally getting distracted from his upset by the appearance of B1 and B2 on ABC, LOL... After that he was fine... Went down for his nap at the normal time, slept nearly two hours, played with the boys, and was calm and smiley when I came through the front door. Had REALLY long boobies (much to my relief, LOL)... And has been fine, and went to bed as if nothing different had happened today.

This is soooo good for me to see...

I was thi…

Well, today Dave and I have been together for 10 years, living together for 9, married for 8...

We'll toast this milestone tonight, but that's about it for this year :D... I have big plans for two years from now, but don't want to get too cocky, LOL... Getting this far, I think, in this day and age and still being happy together is a pretty good achievement...

I've celebrated today by recieving yet another new nappy, LOL...



Had pre-ordered a Cute Tooshie at the Children's expo last month, and then saw this one with the black cats with their ginormous eyes, and just couldn't resist... Red suits Bryn a lot too...

Well, these past 10 years with Dave have given me many things, but I've got to say the most valued of them all are my three boys, and this is them in all their glory today - Bryn complete with vegemite grin, LOL...

You Are 60% Weird




You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?

But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

You Should Be a Poet
You have a way with words... and a talent for drawing the pure emotions out of experiences.
Your poetry has the potential to make people laugh and cry at the same time. You just need to write it!What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

Hmmm, well, yes, I'm a writer (at least that's what I've claimed on two of my boy's birthcertificates, LOL), but I've never really given poetry a go. I love to read poetry, and thing it's very clever (certain kinds of poetry), but hmmmm, never thought I had that kind of creativity...

Our gardner is ACE! First of all, he has all the charm of Jamie Durie (or however that's spelt), he doesn't look like him (he's got kind of dark blonde curly hair)...

Secondly, he's a family guys about my age, with three boys, who he adores, so he's just GREAT with my boys, chats to them, fusses over them, it's really nice.

But MOST importantly!!! He just does nice little extras FOR FREE, like cutting back the lavender so I'm not at risk of being stung by bees, or STRAIGHTENING OUT OUR CLOTHES LINE!!! I didn't even mention it! He just came to the front door before (to get the money we pay him), and said, "Oh and I straightened out your clothes line, but tell the boys they can't swing on it now, or it might snap next time" I hadn't even told him about the clothesline, or that the boys bent it (that's was probably a given, hehehe)... He just saved us $500!!!

The funny thing is, Dave tried to straighten the clothesline this mornin…

Went to the new playgroup place today... It's pretty good, though I didn't get a chance to see outside. It was a cold day today... Spent the first hour there on my own. It's funny how, when you're on your own, when you're not expecting to be, all these thoughts of self-doubt flood in... Did I get the day or time wrong? Are people purposely avoiding me? Is someone mad at me? Silly thoughts...

Jayne turned up, and we sat and chatted for 1.5 hours... Then she's showing me around the NH, and we run into a lady I used to work with at another NH about 7-8 years ago. This other woman knew me by my old name, and when she knew me I was about 15kg heavier or so, had a short black bob and was either pregnant with, or had just had Erik.... Hahaha, she recognised me by my voice (yes, it MUST be distinctive, hahaha)... I recognised her by the dress she was wearing, I swear she was wearing the same dress 7 years ago!

I decided to see how far the walk was from the…

It's amazing how you can be affected deeply by the loss someone you only know online is experiencing...

Earlier this year an acquaintence lost her little boy after only three days of life. Little Sam's short life and premature death was completely unexpected. A terrible tragedy that I felt deeply despite only knowing his mother very casually through a group we both attended.

Today, another acquaintence, this time online only, lost her little girl, one month after her birth. This time we had a couple of weeks notice of the impending tragedy, and when the news came in today I cried. I didn't know this little girl, had only seen a couple of photos of her, but somehow I felt so deeply the immense sadness of holding your baby for such a short time. Is there a greater pain than losing a child? I can't imagine any greater pain. No mother or father should have to experience it.

Somehow, the loss of a baby seems so much worse. All the dreams and hopes that are left floatin…

Well, I did actually type out a looong blog the other day, but it was so long that after two days I hadn't finished it and then I had to reboot the computer (bad laptop owner, leaving laptop on standby for two days)...

It was a long blog of my life and basically how bloody marvellously it has turned out.

There were a couple of things that had me reflecting on the turn out of my life. Dave going to his thirty year highschool reunion on Saturday night was one. He finished highschool the year I started school, and I started school six months early (aged 4.5)... He looked very smart in his black drill pants (what else?), shiny new shoes, maroon and black vertically striped shirt and black tie (the woman at the men's clothing shop had tried to sell him a custard/tan tie, because apparently light coloured ties with dark shirts are the newest clothing "statement" for men, Dave reassured her his belly was more than enough statement for him)... There was one guy there dress…

We took the boys for their first school transition session this morning... It was absolutely pouring down, and so we decided to take a taxi, because there are now five of us we had to order a maxi taxi, which just took forever to get here, so we ended up being 10 minutes late (with me lecturing Dave about getting his lisence so we can avoid this kind of crap in future, grrrrr - this seems to have happened a few times lately that we've had something important to do and been impeded by bad weather or having to wait for cabs to turn up)...

Anyway, because we were late, the preppies were already in their assigned classes, so we took our boys to Erik's class and he just bolted in there and immediately included himself in whatever they were doing
like he'd been there for years, LOL...

Poor Luey looked a bit bluffed, he couldn't see where Erik had gone but also knew this wasn't his class so he couldn't just follow Erik in either. The Principal turned up then and said sh…