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Overanalysis...

I analyse EVERYTHING... Every little thing that trickle past my consciousness is subject to reflection and analysis and so today I found myself analysing my habit of analysing...

I was feeding Bryn off to sleep for his nap, and he was "bruising the fruit" as Dave would put it, and so I was thinking, do I just lose my cool here and tell him with the sincerity of my irretation to put his hand away or there would be no more "meh" or do I just ride it out for the, likely, five minutes or so it was going to take him to drift off from this point (this is something he does just before drifting off)... If I voiced my frustration, it would first off all stimulate him, waking him more, and then it would start a battle of wills as he forcefully gripped my boob over and over to start his self soothing again... I might well win this battle, I have in the past, but I might just as easily lose the battle and end up taking him out to Dave to resettle, as I have in the past too...

And if I did win the battle would that mean I was teaching him to be assertive and voice his boundaries, or would it mean I was teaching him to be aggressive when frustrated and be forceful in getting what he wanted. And as an adult would he need to be aggressive anyway, considering that adults tend, more often than not, to realise that if they piss others off they may well end up alone, and so Bryn wasn't really likely to want to squeeze his girlfriends breasts in order to soothe himself to sleep because she likely would just leave him.

I, of course, can't leave him because he's my baby, and so we need to find some way to get along. That could mean a compromise on one of our parts or if we're lucky, coming to some sort of mutual agreement - which does happen, even at this age (1.5 and 35 years old)...

If I just let it go, would I be teaching him to sacrefice himself so as not to upset others, or perhaps I'd simply teach him that if others don't speak up it's ok to just walk all over them while meeting your own needs? But then again, as a baby he has needs, valid needs that he can't reason out in language like an adult can, and if he were an adult he might say to his girlfriend, "I really need to comfort of your breasts to go to sleep, but telling me if I'm hurting you and I'll be more gentle" - at 1.5 he doesn't have the cognitive development to understand that rhythmically squeezing my breast is irretating to me, let alone to understand that being more gentle may mean less irretation for me.

So, why do I put so much energy into analysing all this stuff if the analysis itself can't actually lead to any sort of conclusive answer?

Short answer, I don't know...

Once I got to this point, I looked down, realising that Bryn had stopped squeezing my boob, in fact, he was in a deep sleep...

That is when I realised why I analyse everything, hehehe, it's a handy distraction from in the moment living...

Comments

Katy said…
Ha ha, I'm an analyser too and funnily enough I've been analysing my analysing too. and yeah, not coming to any conclusions here either.
Amanda O. said…
ROTFLMAO... oh gawds, this looks way too familiar! I drive myself nuts with it and then pick apart why it drives me nuts because something that you dislike is probably a reflection of that trait in yourself. *G* Gotta love it!

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