Monday, June 11, 2007

Oy Vey!

Having one of those days...

You know, the kind of day where you question yourself and your worth.

This morning Dave and I were talking about the things that "have to happen", like moving and him getting his license and getting another job. I said I could get a job, but then he'd have to stay at home with the and for the kids (that's non-negotiable for me). And he comes back with, "What would you DO?" (as in, what on earth COULD you do), which is a sore point because, well there's a lot I could do, but in the past I've had a lot of issues with employers who just can't get past the fact that I'm legally blind and need certain extra equipment and concessions in the workplace - it's not really something I like to talk about...

So, we keep talking, and then I jokingly said, "Well, maybe after this Masters I could go work as a tutor or lecturer at Deakin..." and he gets all huffy on me and says, "No, don't you dare make promises like that you said that after your Grad. Dip. and your last Masters..."

Well, geez, I was actually not making any promises, I was actually joking, and secondly, where does HE get off telling me not to make promises I won't keep??? Fuck if I haven't been listening to his endless promises about getting a lisence and doing something about his health for years...

Then I get online, which given that I'd already been misread once, was probably not a good thing to do.

I was first accused of being "condescending" when I had meant to be trying to clarify my interpretation of a term, that I had just realised I was the only person understanding it as I did in a thread. I was admitting I was in the minority and that reviewing the term as the majority saw it, I agreed with what people were saying. but, I somehow came off as condescending...

Then I was accused off as being "narky" because I had a laugh at myself for not being able to do what others can achieve... My excuses have always been my ADD and my kids, but if others with kids and can do Law degrees, maybe I'm just making excuses... I really didn't mean to seem narky.

I've spent this afternoon transcribing a short story for my Masters application, that has to go off in the morning. I have three pieces to submit with it but was thinking I really needed to put something in that was "lighter" in tone, or even comedic. Now, not only do I feeling like I don't have a grasp on humour I'm actually really questioning if I even have a grasp of writing at all...

Ok, probably doesn't help that it's the first day of my cycle, but geez, I seem to missing the target today...

Luckily tomorrow is a new day...

3 comments:

Stitch Sista said...

Well for what it's worth I think I understood what you were saying?? :P.

Writing on cue is pretty hard I reckon...

Anyway put it down to hormones if you must...they play havoc with me these days too!

Amanda O. said...

Well, crap! Sounds like exactly what you said - "one of those days"! Much sympathies on jobs being idiots about disabilities (BTDT except with hearing instead of sight... including the idjits who gave me all my paperwork in braile cuz I'm HOH...), husbands insisting on behaving in a manner that makes you want to thwap 'em, general misunderstandings and mishaps. Here's hoping Murphy takes a powder for tomorrow... and if not, ring me and I'll pick you up so we can have coffee whist we poke fun at the world!

Juniper said...

Argh Sif! We all have those days, but I can totally appreciate your frustration! Don't doubt yourself - you really are a good writer, your blog is the first place I check every night when I settle down for some good reading!

Teenagers and the failing parent...