Skip to main content

Do I even have the right to...

Ok, more pics of Bryn sleeping, yeah, maybe I'm obsessed, or maybe I'm just thrilled with how he happily sleeps all evening on the couch, instead of waking several times because he's cold...

Last night when we transferred him to the bed, he got very angry (at the cold) and yelled for about 10 minutes inconsolably, then finally fell asleep, about 30 minutes into his sleeping a bubble of giggle popped up out of this mouth, it was SOOOO cute, made me giggle too. 10 minutes later another bubble popped out - I think he must have been dreaming about playing witht he boys, because it was the same giggle he giggles when he's got Luey chasing him around the dining room table...

Anyway, to the title of this post... Today Erik lost a great toy that his best friend from school gave him for his birthday just two days ago. Erik had wanted to take it out of the house to show off, and I had warned him he might lose it (he is prone to losing stuff when out - yet another thing he's inherited from me, eek!)... But he really wanted to take it, and in the spirit of giving him more responsibility as he gets older, I agreed he could.

So, he lost the toy. He didn't seem overly upset, but I was...

I've been thinking about this tonight. Why was I so upset? Well, basically it comes down to wanting to make a good impression on his new friend and his friend's mum who had gone to the trouble of finding this excellent interactive toy for Erik, that encouraged him to read etc...

I'm now afraid that on Monday, either Erik or I are going to have to admit he's already lost the toy, and I'm afraid Erik's friend, or his mum are then going to think we don't value their friendship. *I* value Erik's friend's friendship and the effort this child's mother has put into fostering the friendship between these boys a lot!!! Before this friendship, Erik really didn't have a good friend he could call his own. This friendship has really helped Erik blossom socially!

I worry that Erik will do something to "stuff up" his new friendship, but do I even have the right to take on that concern??? Is it my place to play intermediary between Erik and his friends? To sheperd Erik's behaviour with regard to his friends and make sure he does and says the things *I* think are good and helpful?

I mean, I'm not exactly a "friendship poster girl"! Erik has more natural ability in making and maintaining friendships than I did at his age.

I suspect I'm transferring too many of my own friendship issues onto him...
Labels:

Comments

Crazy Mumma said…
I thought about this myself when Zoe first started school this year, but rapidly came to the conclusion that the greatest benefit to her is to model the behaviour/s I'd like her to show, and then help her around specific issues by talking about it and role playing. Being naturally a bit of a loner, it has been a bit of a challenge for me to try and be more outgoing in front of her but I can see now 6 months down the track that it is having great benefits for her.

JMHO, but I think you need to step back and trust Eric to find his own way, although I'd also explain that his friend and his mum will feel sad that he hasn't looked after the toy they specially chose for him...
11:31 am
Leah said…
Love that perspective on that first picture :)
7:46 pm
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The symbolism of elephants...

Just recently I've been seeing and noticing elephants everywhere!

A few weeks ago I saw the Samsung Elephant Ad, and watching that led me to watching a video with an elephant painting (seriously, you have to watch it to believe it!).

Then last night the boys told me they were having a free dress day at school to raise money for 'Mali the Elephant' - who turned out to be a paper maché statue which the children will paint and then show around the council before it comes back to the school to stand outside the performing arts room.

Then this morning I followed a link from Twitter to Toushka Lee's blog and read this post about an elephant orphanage in Sri Lanka.

This morning the Grumpy Old Man did another driving test and unfortunately didn't pass. We've booked his next test and are looking forward to that now. About ten minutes before he walked in the door I saw this poster on Facebook...


At the time, I didn't know if the Grumpy Old Man had been successful or …
Post a Comment
Read more

Alone... And Stuff...

Do you ever just need to be alone?



As the boys are growing up, we have more times when the house is quiet. The youngest will be asleep. One will be reading, one will be playing on his computer with headphones on, one will be painting and there is stillness.

Sometimes, even that is not enough.

Sometimes I crave being alone, with no possibility of someone suddenly realising they have to tell me something important or ask me a question or even just crash about in the kitchen.

Sometimes I crave S P A C E, lots and lots of space, being able to walk from room to room without encountering another soul.

This is how I felt when I woke up this morning, so instead of getting ready for work, I decided to stay home. Get up, but not go anywhere, no hear the sound of my own voice, or anyone else's.

I think this might just be part of getting older. After a lifetime of chasing after other people and trying not to be alone, my mind and body is full of thoughts, experiences, feelings, and busy-ness …
Post a Comment
Read more

12 Things Happy People Do Differently - a self-reflection...

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the above poster on her wall. I believe she got these points from this blog which she enjoys reading, and the bloggers on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog derived their discussion of these points from this book, available on Amazon - you're welcome! I have to admit, I haven't read the blog or the book I've just mentioned but wanted my readers to have access to the sources of the poster for their own reflective purposes.
The New Year will be upon us in but a few days and I thought this a great opportunity to do a little personal assessment on how I'm playing the happy game. I'm often not very happy at all - I don't need to be happy all the time, let me just say that up front - I personally believe that life is a balancing act and those who seek euphoria often will also often feel desolation because in all things there must be balance. The great riches of the few on this planet come at the personal cost of the many as is …
1 comment
Read more