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An issue...

Erik came home this afternoon excited to show me a mini book he made from just one piece of A4 paper, it was cleverly designed and I asked him who showed him how to do it, and he said he made it up himself. I was very excited by this. Erik is very good with paper and creating objects out of paper, it´s somewhat of a hobby of his... So, I suggested I take a series of photos of the 'how to' for making the book and I´d post it on my blog.

I took these photos...











As you can see, the steps come increasingly complicated, a bit too complicated for an 8 year old to figure out on his own, I thought... I asked Erik if he was sure he figured it out by himself, and that the teacher didn´t show him. He was adamant it was his own design and told me the story about how he figured it out, and how he showed the teacher and the teacher put the directions on the board... Call it mother´s instinct, I had to google 'make a book from A4 paper' and right there on the second page of result I found this document...

I showed the document to Erik and he finally admitted the teacher had taught the class how to make the book, and then sat there looking at me with a sheepish grin on his face, as I seethed quietly and dispaired of ever being able to trust my eldest son ever again...

Why lie to me about this? I would have been highly impressed with the book regardless of whether he designed it or not! Why???

Comments

Amanda O. said…
Aw Sif, no fun to find out you've been fibbed to, especially for no reason! *sympathies*

I know I've said it before, but E does remind me of myself as a child. I can remember pulling this same thing, for no particular reason I could really express between hm... about grades 3 and 6? It didn't make me popular and while I understood lying as such was wrong, it didn't feel like lying. More fantasty or wishful thinking, with the lines of reality being rather blurred and loose if that makes sense? As an example, I bought a gift for a teacher at one point - a seashell filled with a candle - and told her I'd made it myself. There was no intent to decieve or harm and there was no NEED to tell her I made it rather than bought it, I just thought it was SO cool and clever and wished I had been able to make it. Since I couldn't there was this whole scenario in my mind of me making it, preparing the mold, setting the wick, heating and pouring the wax etc. I could tell you more but don't want to hog your comments space but it was something I did eventually outgrow when I really came to understand how it made people feel and put myself in their perspective and while it was occasionally a bit crafty, it wasn't malicious, so perhaps Erik is the same... very vivid imagiation and living the story so to speak. Not sure that makes it any easier to deal with though!
Juniper said…
Hugs Sif! I think what Amanda said makes a lot of sense, and I remember doing similar stuff as a child.

I think that sometimes kids just want us to be proud of them, and this was something he was obviously impressed with, and he knew you would be impressed with it to.

But I totally understand how you feel, because feeling "tricked", even by a child (even/especially by our own children) is a horrible feeling.

In the past, DD has lied to me for months about brushing her teeth, and is so convincing, I just don't know when she is telling the truth or not, and that is a horrible feeling when you feel you can't trust *anything* they say.

Sigh... IMO, parenting gets *harder* in some ways as they get older huh? Hugs to you!
loz said…
Just Hugs
clelkaje said…
Sif I TOTALLY agree with Amanda, and remember doing the same thing...just to be, I don't know, admired more or something? And I'm now a (relatively) emotionally stable adult, so I don't think it was some grand pathology. Maybe a bit of insecurity here and there, and a bit of wishful thinking, but it's OK...

Plus don't forget that pressing someone on a white lie makes them a bigger and bigger liar, and harder and harder to come clean, so thanks kind of understandable too...Hugs love x
HipbubbyMama said…
I have to admit, this is something I might have done too. I think I was an admiration addict or something. I know I loved to impress my parents. You can go into all sorts of theories as to why-not that I think you or Dave are *anything* like my dad! I dunno-maybe it's just a normal kid thing, as Amanda and Clel have both said they might have done that as well. My advice would honestly be to not give it too much energy. Liam sometimes tells me stuff I know is made up, and I just go "Oh right,is that so? funny that I actually saw xyz do that not just you" or whatever. If he sees I'm not overly interested in it he doesn't pursue it.
Must be very frustrating all the same!! I hope E gets over this phase soon! *hugs*

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