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Bloody hell! Another STUPID homeschooling thread!

Just read a thread on a parenting forum about homeschooling. It was started by a homeschooler posting a kind of vent about the stupid things people say to homeschoolers, it was quite funny and apt, though it contained some equally grosse generalisations as those made by people who know little about homeschooling...

One of the points was about not saying to a homeschooler, "I couildn't homeschool", even as a compliment, and yet in the first 2.5 pages (which is what I read of the thread before replying) so many people said this!!!

Obviously people didn't read the entire OP before responding, or if they did, they somehow thought that it was not applicable to them.

Hearing other people say they couldn't do it was always incredibly annoying to me, because quite frankly I never GAVE A SHIT if other people thought they could do it or not. Them not being able to do was not relevant to me at all.

Then there is the question of WHY would anyone want to homeschool. Gawd, so many answers to that, all subjective, so what the point of even answering the question, really? The other person is only going to disagree with you because OBVIOUSLY by asking the question they're saying nothing would move them to homeschool.

I still feel mostly pretty crappy about my boys going to school. I know they really enjoy it, but it is such a sucky compromise and I wish I could offer them what they really want - to play with other kids all day, every day - without all the other bullshit that happens at school.

We're coming the end of our first year of school, and it's been such a turmultuous year for us. It's been great to have time with just Bryn and myself, and it's been great to see the boys form friendships at school. Other than that, it has mostly been a massive pita. Having people questioning my children's behaviour, NORMAL behaviour, having Luey picked on by his stupid teacher, Erik crying because the other kids in his class teased him about reading level 9 books...

Our weekends have not been more enjoyable because of the break we get from each other during the week, we don't enjoy each other's company all the more for it. In fact, I think sometimes having them away for much of the day during the week makes me even more intolerant of them when they are at home. It certainly makes them more restless at home.

Erik's lying and stealing hasn't gotten better, it's gotten worse.

Luey's self-image has gotten worse, too.

When I ask them if they wouldn't rather be at home they plead to be able to go to school.

I can't help but think it's because I'm just a crappy parent who isn't much fun to be around.

I could so easily homeschool, but they don't want to... It makes me sad...

Comments

Oh man I know I don't know you, but, seriously I bet that is NOT the reason. ((hugs))
Sif said…
Thanks Nic,

I guess I just sometimes feel this way after weekends like this one where all we done is bicker and argue and whinge and bitch. It seems like we never do anything nice as a family, and honestly I don't look forward to weekends or holidays, and I can imagine they don't either. So many other parents I know seem excited when the holidays are coming arund and seem sad to see the end of them. So many kids don't want to go to school and would rather spend their days at home.

It's not like that in our household, and so I can't help but think it's because I'm a crappy parent; I don't pay enough attention to my kids, I'm not fun to be with, I pick at their behaviour too much...

Please excuse me I'm just feeling a little emotional and down this afternoon...
katef said…
A 'crappy parent' would inflict their desires on their children regardless... a 'crappy parent' would still be home schooling because it is what the parent wanted, a 'crappy parent' wouldn't be bothered at all by the negative side of school, a 'crappy parent' wouldn't question their own parenting.. they wouldn't care...

It has to be extra hard, extra confronting to offer your boys what you think is the best option, only to have them ask for something different... but the fact that they have a choice is a HUGE deal... something that most kids will never have when it comes to school.

I was talking with my parents about kinder the other day and even my Mum who is fairly open minded, her first reaction to me saying I wouldn't make them go to kinder or school, was 'they have to go sometime'... um no they don't!

You know tho, if it weren't for you and your 'adventures in homeschooling' (and I mean that in a truly positive way) I would never be as confident in my conviction to allow my children a choice. Home schooling is not my personal first choice (for various reason) but if my kids were not happy at school I'd gladly pick it up as needed!

So um.. waffling here but... you are so not a crappy parent, bad patch? sure? bit of a confidence buster? sure stressful period with regards to the boys school? sure... but crappy.. NO FREAKIN WAY!
Juniper said…
Wow, what KateF said!

Seriously, you are definitely not a crappy parent. We all have our moments LOL!

I think sometimes some kids like school, because they crave companionship of their peers, and this is the most convenient way of getting that companionship. I know that both my kids (but particularly DS10.5yrs) love school for the social factor. Of course, last year it was a different story with the bullying though...

We must chat IRL soon about this and everything else! You are def not a crap parent, just a normal one!
Rae said…
Oh Sif, no way are you a crappy parent! Completely normal to wonder though. EVERYONE does at some point.

(((HUGS)))
HipbubbyMama said…
Sif you're definitely not a bad parent, just a normal one, as Jen said! So, I am one of those annoying people that talks about why I don't HS I suppose. I don't expect people to care if I do or not, I guess it's just conversation, like I might say "I couldn't work as a nurse but I admire those who do".. I didn't realise it would be taken offensively, so sorry if I've personally annoyed you by saying that! :) I think it's great you're respecting your boys' decision to go to school, even tho it's not your ideal. And I think the boys probably want to go bc they enjoy the interaction and also perhaps they fear they might miss something if they stopped going? I certainly don't think it's bc they don't want to be around you! :)
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling crap, hope you feel better soon *hugs*
Sumara said…
You know, I think it's only the good parents who ever start worrying that they might be crappy parents. The actual crappy parents don't notice or care about their crappiness!

I think it's brave and selfless of you to be putting up with all the schooling rubbish in order to give them what they need right now.

Um, "this too shall pass"?

I'm stressing my head off about school next year for T. I wanted to homeschool her, we talked heaps about it etc but she just doesn't want to. She desperately wants to "have lessons with a teacher with the other kids". And when we've visited the kindergarten room with the transition playgroup, she LOVES it and gets along really well in the little world of the kinder room... but man, so many "routine" schooly things I've been seeing there just freak me out. School is so weird!!!

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