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Accepting Change...

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
- Helen Keller


I'm a bit of a fan of Helen Keller's level headedness, I mean, the woman was deaf and blind, what's not to like, right?

Anyway, this arrived in my inbox this morning and was very timely, too... I had found out last Tuesday that my plan to hire a friends independant midwife to take to my local hospital for the next babies birth, because this same midwife already worked at that hospital as well as doing independant midwifery, has been thwarted by recent changes at the maternity service. Another midwife at this hospital quit her job, complaining of other midwives not following hospital policy by cheerfully allowing women to not understand tests of their choosing (as if they actually could force the women to take those tests). I realise as I write this that Bryn's pregnancy might be one of the ones in question, as I had absolutely no tests at my own discretion.

So, now there is a review being held of the know your midwife program at that maternity service and at worse, the program may be shut down completely, and at best it is likely to change drastically in tone. Another issue being that the hospital isn't keen for the KYM midwives to be on call for the women they are supporting, which kind of, well completely, undermines the program altogether... What's the point of getting to know your midwife if you're going to get "whoever is on duty" when it comes to your labour? I'm mean, come people, heads are for thinking with...

So, anyway, I suddenly find myself in that place that many women in Australia find themselves. Out of reach of a good, accessible alternative in the hospital system. Either I accept substandard (by my standards) care, or I homebirth.

Homebirthing is sooooo expensive though. I don't, not for one minute, begrudge the midwives their fees, they have to make a living somehow or they would cease to exist to support women who aren't happy with the hospital birthing system.

I just don't have the money for a homebirth...

There is the option of going the single midwife for a lesser fee, and I could maybe do this. The fee is still an exorbitant $2500 though. Exorbitant because I don't have it...

Then there is freebirthing.

I'm not keen on freebirthing unless it is by chance. If I have to, I know I can, but I would not choose to. The lead up anxiety alone might cause issues. Dave is not at all open to homebirth, so freebirthing is something he'd run away from screaming. TBH, I'm concerned that even if it just turned out that way, he would cope while it was happening, he's good like that, but afterwards, I'm pretty sure he'd suffer post traumatic stress. I'm saying this because he suffered it after Luey's birth, and we were in a hospital with attending midwives then, and it was a 2 hour deal from rupture of membranes to first cry, with me only having painful contractions for the last 30 minutes.

So, now I'm thinking of going with the one midwife, not telling Dave until it's a done deal... I'm just going to believe the $2500 (or whatever is needed) will materialise...

I'm going to need some great doulas (Jen and Jayne???)...

I need to find some peace with this decision because I certainly don't have peace with just taking my chances with whatever incarnation of a maternity service might exist in 2008...

Comments

loz said…
Decisions decisions Trust that the right decision will come your way and work out for how you need it too. Fears, anxieties on your part can all be worked through talk it through and trust in yourself. HUGS
HipbubbyMama said…
MORE than happy to be a doula again Sif :) I think the one MW plan is a good one personally. It's funny how things change. Since that talk last week, IF I ever have another bub, i'm leaning towards a HB, IF I can find someone who'd take me on.
Amanda O. said…
Such a lot to think about isn't it? I have to say though if you want the homebirth if the hospital option isn't a viable one, you've managed to LOA yourself a lot of other things you wanted to achieve and I've little doubt you'd find some way to do so this time. Check and see if you can work out payment plans, even maybe starting now or raising some funds knitting soakers and hats again etc. I think for me, my upcoming pregnancy will be a bit of an exercise in "trust in the universe to provide" and "trust in yourself to be able to find ways to achieve" so maybe that is also a little bit useful here as well? Or maybe I'm totally projecting! ;-p

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