Monday, December 31, 2007

Goodbye 2007!

Dave asked me this morning if I'd achieved everything I'd set out to achieve this year, and quite honestly i could say, yes I had, and more!

Ok, so I'm about 22kg heavier than I was this time last year, but honestly my weight wasn't really a priority for me this year. The things I REALLY wanted to happen this year, that I thought were just fanciful dreams a year ago included:

* Dave and I resuming some sort of relaxed, not forced, sexual relations again, after having a platonic relationship since Bryn's conception.

* Me becoming a better, more respectful parent towards the boys.

* Starting my Masters degree in Writing, though a year ago, I thought that would probably not happen until 2008.

* Reduce my CC debt massively.

* Convince Dave to ttc baby #4.

I've achieved all those things, much to even my own amazement and amusement at times!

Something wonderful happened yesterday, but it kind of upended my world a little bit at the same time, and reminded me of how much more work I need to do with myself.

I got up late thanks to Dave letting me have a sleep in while he occupied the kids. So, I crawled out of bed at about 11.30am and had a decaf, and then called Leah and chatted for a while (and you all know how I like to chat), and so then I got off the phone at about 1pm, and went into the loungeroom. Bryn wanted a feed, so we were all just sitting around in the loungeroom, hanging out, and we see someone watching up along our front porch. We had no idea who it might, but I thought it could be the handyman coming to finish off the front gate. Dave answered the door.

I heard him say, "Oh! Hi! Wow, this is unexpected" and then I heard the familiar voice of my dad...

I immediately leapt up and deposited a confused Bryn on the floor (definitely no breastfeeding in front of my dad), and kind of stood to attention. Of course, I've been fastidiously spending these holidays keeping the house tidy but because I'd been in bed all morning and the boys (including Dave) had been hanging out without me, there was crap everywhere, and I was still in my pyjamas!

So, dad comes in and I say to Dave, "You take Bryn, I'm getting dressed". I tell Erik to put some clothes on as well, as he's standing there in his undies. Then after I'm dressed, I quickly dress Bryn (yes, we're one of THOSE families, who only dress for EXPECTED guests, or to leave the house). Then I come back out and we chat for a few minutes before I tell dad we only have decaf coffee and skim milk, at which point he says he'll have to go to the shops and get some real coffee and milk then. So he leaves again.

While he's out I whip Dave into a cleaning frenzy with me, and luckily the mess was only superficial. By the time Dad is back we're all but finished the dishes and the house is neat.

Dad stayed for about 3.5 hours, I guess, and we just had coffees and chatted about a bunch of things, politics, work, computers, cameras, that sort of thing. It was good. It was weird though. I mean the last time I saw Dad was about 5 years ago, and the time before that was 3 years ago. In the intervening 5 years since his last visit I've spoken to him on the phone maybe three times... Then all of a sudden he calls on Christmas day and then shows up on our doorstep five days laters after a 3.5 hour drive from Albury.

I have to tell you, part of me is wondering if he's just discovered he's got some sort of cancer and is going to die in six months time or something. I guess I'm mistrusting the sudden interest in us all...

But it was really nice to see him.

I was a bit upset though because right at the end of the visit I wanted to get some photos of him with the family and Luey was being as contrary as he can be sometimes. I don't think it was because he didn't like my Dad so much as to have a go at me for not giving him something he wanted yesterday. Then Dad shook Erik and Bryn's hands (which is actually very affectionate for my dad) and Luey point blank refused, and Dad stood there with his hand outstretched for a while, and then tried again later, but Luey wasn't having a bar of it... I felt kind of bad for Dad, but also embarrassed thinking he might judge me or the boys based on Luey's behaviour. I don't know.

Family dynamics are so weird aren't they?

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