Wednesday, March 12, 2008

That happy, happy feeling...

It's so fleeting isn't it? Like the tide, you know it'll come and go, but you can't really control it.

Being empathic, I have issues with taking on other people's emotions. I've really got to work on cutting those attachments. Letting other people have their emotions, without assimilating them into myself.

I often have that "everything is going to be great!" feeling. I had it when I finished my last blog. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone felt like that about life? Then I think I could savour the feeling for longer when it washed over me, LOL.

I hate struggling over other people's emotions. Worrying about how other people feel, especially how others feel about me and my choices. LOL, I always have so much faith in my own decisions! Over confidence maybe, but somehow I can't seem to translate that faith in a way that others are filled with it as well.

WRT to this birth. I've had some feelings about just having the baby without anyone around. I'm certainly not a freebirth advocate, and ideally I'd love to have the company and support of my husband and a qualified midwife (and of course my doula), but I only want people who are fully confident in my ability to birth at home at my birth. I don't want anyone who arrives at the scene with contingency plans in the back of their mind, yk?

I really believe this birth will be as straight forward as Luey and Bryn's were. I "feel it in my bones", and this is what has me thinking, do I really need to be inviting people in who might not share that feeling?

Oh well, it's month away, plenty of time to really weigh up everyone's attitude :).

1 comment:

Stitch Sista said...

I hear you!

After M's birth, and really wanting to be alone through the bulk of the labour, I realised this time around that I could almost do it alone...I mean a part of me would like to be left to my own devices in much the same way a cat slinks off to give birth in private...

Not (consciously) for that same reasons you've mentioned, but it certainly appeals to me. It's hard to discern whether it's my own niggles that stop me, or worrying about DH and what he would make of that...

Good luck coming to a decision that is right for you! I've really come to feel that where/how a birth takes place should be left solely up to the birthing woman. That would be deemed selfish to some, but it's so very personal and intimate to me. FFS it's MY body doing it yk...so I have to be in the best headspace possible to get the best result - no matter how it makes someone else feel.

Teenagers and the failing parent...