Thursday, June 19, 2008

120 days till this baby is due!

I feel like I have so much mental work to do before then!!! This week I've been so up and down about the birth. I have an issue with transferring. I've NEVER had to transfer in heavy labour, and I certainly don't want to do it this time - when I'm paying for the birth myself!!! So, I've been all angsty about what might cause me to have to transfer, what my midwives triggers might be etc. Have to really talk about that next week, I think! I want to say, "Only if the baby or myself are at immenant risk of dying", but I do understand that my midwife probably won't want to go quite so close to the precipous...

And then, yesterday afternoon it suddenly occurred to me - why am I worried about this??? Seriously, why? Even with my induction, neither Erik nor I were ever in any life-threatening danger. With my last two births, everything was very smooth sailing, indeed. So, why am I even worried. I guess it's simply because this is the unknown, and in my previous births I was already where I was going to give birth from the get go, so if anything dire happened, I wasn't going anywhere...

Gosh, but 120 days doesn't seem long, when you start the countdown at 266 days - we've already done 146 days of this journey, there is quite a bit less ahead than there is behind!

And as if to punctuate this, we're three days short of the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, otherwise known as the darkest day of the year, and from here on in, it'll get lighter and brighter each day, and the equinox will hit about a month before Leo arrives!

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Finding myself..