Saturday, August 30, 2008

The scent of Spring!

There is supposed to be rain developing later today, and there will be rain throughout the week to varying degrees, but right now there is almost a warm breeze outside!

I feel like I'm slowly waking up from a deep sleep myself. It's two steps forward and one step back, but I am starting to feel more awake in the past day or two. I'm feeling very lethargic on a strictly physical basis, but I can feel the need to start getting myself sorted for the impending changes on a mental and spiritual level.

Got to take Bryn to a birthday party tomorrow - his first individual birthday invite!

The boys have been attending after school care this week. So far, it's been a major success. To the point that on Wednesday I picked Luey up from school at bell time, and he was not at all happy about missing out on after school care. I guess, they're still full of beans at that time of day, whereas that's my physical low point, so at ASC they get to run about, and release energy, and do interesting activities, and eat a snack, whereas when I pick them up, it's a long trudge home with a cranky mum and then being told to try and be quiet until dad gets home.

I don't feel like I've seen Erik much this week though (saw Luey more because he didn't go to school on Monday, due to an ear infection).

Life doesn't turn out quite the way you might expect it to, does it. I clearly remember, 9 years ago, having all these ideas about how life with Erik would be. I knew I wanted more kids, but Dave wasn't keen. So, I saw us doing the whole unschooling thing with Erik. Just the three of us. Erik was going to be brought up in this idyllicly democratic household, where he'd have a say in everything, and be fully autonomous, and we'd go on interesting excursions and holidays and have lots of deep discussions about the world around us and things like philosophy and ethics.

Rofl... It's not like we DON'T do those things at all, but rather than being the cake itself, they're only the fairy sprinkles on top...

Instead, our household is much more adhoc, much more a dictatorship, and much more, erm, mundane and mediocre than I thought it would be, hahahaha! We're much more "suburban" than I ever imagined we'd be. As "conscious" as we try to be about stuff (I don't mean environmentally or ethically conscious, just in the moment, enjoy life conscious), I find we're so often running the reactionary race, and lurching from one life event to another.

It doesn't feel *wrong* per se, just unexpected...

Four children will no doubt only increase this feeling!

Oh and I found out this week we'll have TWO medicare cards to cover the family. It's not a big deal, just another one of those things I hadn't realised that kind of shines a light on how things will, indeed, change, and how we must adjust our understanding of the world to accommodate those changes...

Yes, it feels like Spring is on the horizon, and with the change in season comes new life, and a new understanding of life...

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