Monday, October 13, 2008

It's hot tonight...

I should be asleep, but it's hot tonight, our first hot night of the season!

Without looking I know my ticker has ticked over to 4 days left.

Imagine that!

It's funny, I feel like I should be more excited, rofl. But I'm feeling very relaxed about it all of a sudden. As another wise pg woman said yesterday, there seems to be a change in the air. Maybe it's the impending full moon! The celestial sign of all things ripening to their fullest potential... That knowledge that this baby will be here soon, no matter what...

I still catch myself feeling like that will happen to someone else, not me. That I'm waiting for someone else to have a baby, not waiting on my own labour to start. I catch my breath when I think about the fact that it's actually ME who will be going into labour, and giving birth... It just doesn't seem real, rofl. It certainly doesn't seem like something that could happen any time, even though time is running down at a rate of knots now...

Intellectually, I'm anxious to have this baby soon. There are a number of things that would be made a fair bit easier if the baby arrived in the next couple of days or so...

Emotionally though, I'm not in a rush just yet. I haven't got that "over it" feeling, and in some ways, I might not even be ready to meet this little person yet. I still have some Bryn to savour. I still feel like I have to "wake up" to this new person as more than just something I've hoped for for a few years now. Oh, and then there is my new found trepidation about labouring. Goodness knows why I'm not as "chafing at the bit" to get into it all this time. Usually at this point, I'm like a marathon runner 10 minutes before the race starts, focused, hungry, and excited all at once. This time, I'm not so sure, this time I think it might be a bit of hard work, LOL.

I realise I shouldn't be LOAing that stuff, hahaha, but hey, I've just got to go with what I'm feeling.

All I know is, I have the knowledge that there are things I could do to get this going, and I don't want to do them...

Even going as far as having the inkling that maybe if I finally washeed those baby clothes and wraps, this baby might decide to come, and yet each morning I find some new reason to put that job off, hahaha! Like some sort of supersticious laundry is the kep to going into labour, PMSL...

Well, maybe I should go lie down, even if I don't sleep...

1 comment:

Stitch Sista said...

Gosh Sif you are taking me back 3 months. I just realised from your post that I only just washed the baby clothes hours before N came. Infact I had them in the dryer until right up when she was born. Fancy that LOL!

Teenagers and the failing parent...