Monday, November 17, 2008

Oh dear, LOL...

Ok, so trying to organise this stuff with Erik.

Contacted the Paed. we saw back in May and got him to forward me the letter he was meant to send up back then via email - in hindsight, he may well have sent the letter but because both our computers were down at the time, I might not have received it...

Anyway, the letter doesn't paint a pretty picture, rofl. Mostly, it says that Erik is physiologically normal child who is very sensitive and has anxiety and due to his keen need to be accepted by others can be at risk of being taken advantage of by peers (this is key to our argument that he is not the instigator of these situations but rather the transmitter)...

However, it did also point out that I have agoraphobia and suffered severe PND, and that Dave is also quite an anxious person (yeah, Dave will love THAT being on the school records). It also said that I have attachment parented Luey and Bryn and that they are aggressive (um, I had said they tended to be more aggressive than Erik, who isn't aggressive at all)...

Anyway, Dave spoke to Erik's teacher this morning, and told her about the other boys and what they'd been "teaching" Erik. She then tells Dave that Erik had mentioned the other boys but she found it hard to believe that one of those boys, in particular, might talk about such stuff... ARGH! So, Erik tries to tell her WHY he's talking about this stuff and she just dismisses what he says! She said she'd talked to the other two boys and they'd denied saying that stuff - well, DUH! So, their word has been taken for truth but Erik's not. So, um, if he is NEVER believed because in the past he's lied about stuff (completely unrelated stuff, btw), how is he supposed to learn that telling the truth is a good thing?

Anyway, so we've said we want a meeting with Erik's teacher and the school counsellor. Now the school counsellor is only available on Tuesdays, so she will try and get an appointment for tomorrow, but if not then next week. She will contact me when this is organised. If it's next Tuesday, then it looks like Erik will be home for a week...

I'm really very angry about all of this. It seems like it is ok for Erik to cope the blame for being easily manipulated. We're expected to make him spot letting others manipulate him, but we are not getting any support for our situation. Also, just the fact that the teacher didn't feel it necessary to tell us that Erik had already indicated the involvement of other children galls me. Surely, that was an important part of the chain of events.

Also, little things like the teacher telling Erik it's up to her if he graduates to the next level or not - another idle threat on her part, when we've already said that he suffers from anxiety and acts out when he's feeling anxious...

Anyway, let's hope we can get a meeting tomorrow, and get this sorted.

2 comments:

Stitch Sista said...

Oh hugs...how stressful...I am not looking forward to any of this stuff :(.

Amanda O. said...

Oh *sigh* Sounds so stressful! Is there any chance the paed can send a letter to the school WITHOUT the additional personal details re: you, Dave, Luey etc? Really the rest of it is none of the schools business and doesn't do anything to contribute to Erik's troubles being resolved. The stuff with the teachers continuing to take the other kids word over E's must be driving you batty as well.. even if he has said something that was a lie before, that hardly means EVERYTHING that comes out of his mouth is or that EVERYTHIGN that comes out of the other kids mouth is gospel truth, especially when there is a pretty good motivation for hte other child NOT to dob themselves in... geeeezzeeeee... seems like there should be a little bit more investigation put into finding out what actually happened before assuming something like that! And the thing about the teacher telling Erik she's the one who decides if he gets held back or not... call me silly but that should be a choice motivated on the child's best interest for their continuing education/personal development and NOT as something to manipulate behaviour/threaten a child with for if they've behaved 'badly'... what happens if he does down the road need to be held back (for reasons having nothing to do with his behaviour) and then feels like it's his personal failing or a punishment or what he might assume about other students who are held back... eep... this school-age kid stuff sounds scarey! *sending the most massive shipment of good vibes for meeting tomorrow and that it's successful I can send*

Teenagers and the failing parent...