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Something Erik said, got me thinking...

It started with something Bryn said...

"Mum, Ari was in your tummy and now he is our of your tummy!"

"Yep, that's right Bryn"

Then Erik interjects, "He was in mums tummy but then he was forced out. He didn't want to come out but he had to..."

I asked him what he meant (because Ari was born from a spontaneous labour at 41 weeks and 3 days, not an induction of any sort)...

Erik explained that the space got to cramped and so he had to come out because he was getting too big. This, in a way, was a rewording of how I'd explained how babies know when to be born, and how part of that is that they've grown as much as they can on the inside and the time has come to grow on the outside, so they have to get out...

HOWEVER, I found myself thinking on how, at least when he first broached the subject, I couldn't help but feel that somehow he was connecting with his own birth experience. I had reached 42 weeks of gestation when my labour was induced. At the time, Erik was floating very high, high enough for the obstetrician to wonder if induction was a good idea even then.

The labour wasn't long, only 8 hours, but 2.5 of those were active pushing on my part, and in the end he was extracted by low forceps.

I CLEARLY remember the moment he was put on my belly, and how he looked me square in the eye and the look he gave me took my breath away. He was MAD at ME! That's the best way I could explain it. The look on his face said, "Who the hell are you? And what did you just do to me?"

So, you see, when he tells Bryn that Ari was forced out and that Ari didn't want to come out, I can't help but wonder if there isn't some innocent underlying truth in those statements for Erik...

Maybe that is why he has always been emotionally immature/innocent - because he was forced into this world before he was ready...

Comments

Leah said…
That's really interesting that he articulated that! I have no doubt the unborn have an opinion on "stuff", they sure seem to develop opinions on things on the outside like they've had practice!

I reckon Audrey was mad to be born as well. It took the world awhile to convince her it wasn't so bad lol I think Owen's more like, "oh this again, ok" lol
Amanda O. said…
It's amazing to think about isn't it... and a bit humbling. Are you thinking of asking E to expound on those thoughts to see what else he might have to say ooc?

I have been reading/thinking about this so much lately and about the sense of personaility I get off this little one vs Laurent's. I think his 'personaility' in utero is actually VERY similar to him at birth and through to now. There's a site that has a lot of info on early memories in utero and surrounding birth by a fellow who has studied it which is fascinating too.
Spiralmumma said…
Wow interesting!!n I remember just after my birth (yes really!) and I remember feelings of being cold, alone and a bit ripped off. I was a C section at 37 weeks, and I've always decided because i was "from my mother's womb untimely ripped" haha..that's why I hate getting out of bed in the morning so much, and proicrastionate so much! rofl!

Liam's labour reflects his personality-"I wanna get out" "oh wait do I? maybe not." "Yes I do!! I'm outta here!!" Oh wait..might be cold and dark out there.." LOL Whereas Sienna's was like "I do things when *I* am ready not a moment before! Wanna make me? Fine but I'll be kicking and screaming and making your life hell all the way!!" :D
Sif said…
Amanda, I thought about asking Erik further, but I don't want to project issues onto him.

Like these thoughts might also just reflect my own "hindsight" concerns that I forced him out too early because I didn't just allow nature to take its course...
Amanda O. said…
Good point... if you did ask you'd want to do so in a way that was just sort of exploring and validating his own emotions/impressions of birth (even if he doesn't conciously recall it as his experience still could colour his overall perception sort of thing?) which yeah may give you some more insight into how much is uniquely him and how much is you intrepreting through your own experiences/thoughts but not with that as the specific goal you're questioning toward. Gosh, hope that makes ANY kind of sense... it does, sort of, in my head... but then my brain is covered in an inch thick layer of fuzz today I think! X-P And then of course I am probably projecting my own curiously onto everything. LOL
Sazz said…
That's really insightful, Sif. These issues came up at my doula classes, one of our teaches suggested asking the children what they know about their own births and if they would like to know more. She had had an induction and she told her son about it and apologised, simply explaining she didn't know what she was doing back then but she understood it had changed his birth story from what it might have been and had an impact on him :)

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