Saturday, April 18, 2009

Dazed and confused...

Pretty much describes how I'm feeling...

Have been feeling very much out of harmony with everything lately... At first, I thought it was just the acti-climax after the operation finally came and passed... Then I thought it was because I'd been over in Adelaide and was still a bit hyped up about all of that... Then I thought it was because Dave hadn't been paid yet and so everything was still "unfinished" and we hadn't had closure on all of that bizzo...

We still haven't had closure. Dave still hasn't been paid, but I've come to realise that is not the root of my unease...

Basically, I'm just having trouble living in the moment. I'm having trouble being happy with life just as it is. I'm scouting for new "adventures", new stuff to be excited about.

At the same time, I'm putting off important stuff, like writing my novel

It's really hard to get any headspace when the big boys are on holidays and Dave is home all the time as well. This house has been bulging with people for two weeks now and - quite frankly - it's really getting on my nerves...

But I know that's not REALLY the reason I'm feeling unsettled. I know because I know that even once the boys are back at school and we fall back into a routine, I'll still struggle with it all - the shoulds and the can't-be-arseds...

These are very much side effects of my attention issues.

The restlessness
The inability to focus on anything
The wanting a new adrenalin producing event in my life
The procrastination
The irretability

I think all the sugar I've had this year might be feeding a ginormous candida spike... Something is up because I've had a major psoriasis outbreak all over my body like I've NEVER had before! Term two is definitely going to have to see some changes in my lifestyle...

Meanwhile, LOL, Erik is singing in the shower - that's my boy!

1 comment:

Stitch Sista said...

I can absolutely 100% relate and have been thinking about all this myself of late.

I have so many things I want and need to do, and yet when I have a spare moment I can always find an excuse not to do them.

I think we need to cut ourselves some slack. We have young families (and babies no less!) and that in itself is a full time endeavour which requires not only physical, but also mental energy.

Teenagers and the failing parent...