Skip to main content

Thoughts about Mother's Day...

Since Ari was born last October, I've really felt very ok about having four boys, and only ever having four boys. Four sons.

For some reason, the impending Mother's Day has just brought up some sadness over never having a daughter. The two might not seem related at all, but then again, my brain is notorious for relating things other people would NEVER consider to have any relationship to one another.

It's the thing about being a mother. I didn't appreciate my mum much growing up. Being the idealist I'm prone to being, she (in her faulty human state) never managed to live up to my ideal of what a mother SHOULD be. You know what I mean, right? That always patient, always available, always anticipating her child's next need or want Goddess that was aspired to in the 50s and depicted in fiction...

Mum always said, "I can't wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!"

Yeah, how many mums have said that, do you think? In fact, how many of us have said it to our kids - or thought it, but had the sense to know there is no real point saying it because the child isn't really listening and doesn't want to hear it anyway...

The thing is... I did get it. Not straight away, not in the first year of my first child's life... But a little later on, I got it. I discovered that I, too, was a fallible human who wasn't the constant rock of patience and presence and foresight that my children expect (and they do EXPECT this)...

Getting it formed a very strong bond between my mother and I. It allowed us both to be ourselves, be more ourselves with one another than we ever were able to be when she was younger and I was a child...

So, what has that got to do with not having a daughter?

I guess I'm thinking it rules out any of my children really GETTING IT, getting what it means to be me. To be a woman who has children and all that encompasses. Being a man with children is a different experience. One day, the boys may have the opportunity to GET get Dave is coming from, what Dave has felt over the years, etc. But they will never truly understand where I'm coming from, what my experiences were... And maybe a daughter wouldn't either, but the potential would have been there with a daughter...

Sons do offer a different kind of bond though, and I'm very glad I have my four sons this Mother's Day!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

12 Things Happy People Do Differently - a self-reflection...

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the above poster on her wall. I believe she got these points from this blog which she enjoys reading, and the bloggers on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog derived their discussion of these points from this book, available on Amazon - you're welcome! I have to admit, I haven't read the blog or the book I've just mentioned but wanted my readers to have access to the sources of the poster for their own reflective purposes.
The New Year will be upon us in but a few days and I thought this a great opportunity to do a little personal assessment on how I'm playing the happy game. I'm often not very happy at all - I don't need to be happy all the time, let me just say that up front - I personally believe that life is a balancing act and those who seek euphoria often will also often feel desolation because in all things there must be balance. The great riches of the few on this planet come at the personal cost of the many as is …

The symbolism of elephants...

Just recently I've been seeing and noticing elephants everywhere!

A few weeks ago I saw the Samsung Elephant Ad, and watching that led me to watching a video with an elephant painting (seriously, you have to watch it to believe it!).

Then last night the boys told me they were having a free dress day at school to raise money for 'Mali the Elephant' - who turned out to be a paper maché statue which the children will paint and then show around the council before it comes back to the school to stand outside the performing arts room.

Then this morning I followed a link from Twitter to Toushka Lee's blog and read this post about an elephant orphanage in Sri Lanka.

This morning the Grumpy Old Man did another driving test and unfortunately didn't pass. We've booked his next test and are looking forward to that now. About ten minutes before he walked in the door I saw this poster on Facebook...


At the time, I didn't know if the Grumpy Old Man had been successful or …

Do you have low self-esteem?

I don't.

I used to think I did, but having met several people who really do have low self-esteem, I've now come to realise I actually have low confidence (and note I don't say low self-confidence, but more on that later), and that is a different breed of animal all together.

I was having a chat with a friend the other day about people who constantly put themselves down. If you are a participant in social media you might be aware of this kind of person. Everyone is smarter than them, prettier than them, more motivated, better organised, or has greater talent than them. It goes further, some of these people are not at all opposed to running themselves down to others with comments like, 'I'm so fat' (and not in a proud, fat acceptance way, but in a negative, self-loathing kind of way), or 'I'm stupid' or 'I'm ugly'.

Some people are just fishing for compliments, of course, but the ones who persist; the ones who simply cannot take a complimen…