Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I should be going to bed right now...

But I'm terribly churned up.

I'm alone in the house with the boys, which isn't my favourite "status", so to speak, but it can't be helped.

Dave is at his parents place supporting his mum through what will probably be his dad's last night on this earth. For all I know, FIL may not be with us anymore, already - Dave said he wouldn't call until morning because there is no point none of us get any sleep tonight...

It's a bit like waiting for a baby to arrive... The days leading up, you know it's got to happen, and soon, you just don't know when. You have "feelings" about this date or that, and stronger feelings that it might happen at a partcular TIME of day; after sunset, at dawn, but you just don't know... So, you wait.

With birth though, you're waiting to be estatic.

With death, the opposite.

As with birth, this event has also corresponded with another, and no so terrible, but all the same, crisis...

Tonight I baked two dozen cupcakes. That doesn't sound too bad, and it wasn't, but the reason I baked two dozen cupcakes was to avoid one of my sons feeling totally and utterly isolated and rejected by his classmates (the other son is also getting cupcakes, but that's just because the first one is)...

Erik had an incident last week were his class were asked to bring a plate to share, we were told about it last minute, so Dave grabbed a large bun from Baker's Delight. Dave didn't have an opportunity to slice it and present it nicely, but thought the class teacher would see to slicing it. Unfortunately the class teacher was away and the substitute teacher either didn't know where to source a proper knife or had a case of the CBBs... So, Erik bun went unsliced and no one ate any of it (because they could access it easily, I believe). Erik felt they hadn't eaten the bun because they don't like or respect him - he was VERY upset!

So, tonight I baked cupcakes...

But that is not all.

Tonight we received their report cards. Luey's was glowing. According to Luey's teacher, Luey is just the bees knees, bright, witty, and a maths wizz! Yay!

Erik was full of double talk. "Erik has an extraordinary vocabulary when he chooses to use it" - Huh? Where does it go when he's NOT using it? "Erik often chooses to be distracted in class by other children" - didn't realise being distracted was a choice???

And apparently Erik has been exhibiting "very challenging behaviour" this past week and is now at risk of missing out on a special class event because of several incidences of "choosing" poor behaviour, particularly with one other child in the class.

We specifically told Erik's teacher that towards the middle of the school year, his behaviour might start to decline, it has the past two school years, and we SPECIFICALLY told her to inform us IMMEDIATELY if there was a negative change in his behaviour, BEFORE resorting to threats... Obviously, she "chooses" to forget our explicit instructions!

If she'd mentioned this too us earlier, we could have told her that the other child is his ONLY friend in class, and that said friend told Erik this week that he was no longer playing with him, nor was he attending Erik's birthday party. We could ALSO have told the teacher that Erik's Pa is dying and that every single day for the past 10 days, Erik has asked how his Pa is fairing morning and night. Erik has been deeply affected by his Pa's rapid deterioration. We could have also told her that when Erik is anxious (which he has a couple of pretty good reasons for being right now), he tends to act out (most kids DO!), and that making threats only INCREASES his anxiety and his acting out...

Yeah, so tonight I'm feeling wrung out, and unable to sleep...

Tonight my MIL is facing losing the love of her life, her partner of 62 years - my heart is breaking for her!

Tonight my husband is losing his gentle, cheerful, easygoing dad, a man as good as the day is long. It's just too sad...

1 comment:

katef said...

thinking of you guys...

It both shits me and scares me that it seems there are so many teachers out there who have no clue about children who are anything other than compliant and mediocre (not that there is anything wrong with that... but you get what I mean).

Teenagers and the failing parent...