Monday, June 22, 2009

NOT a homemaker, NOT a career woman...

This article might suggest that's makes me "adaptive", but that's not really true either... Just like the stereotyped housewife referred to in the article, I could quite happily NEVER go out into the workforce...

Ideally, I'd like to be able to continue to study and write, and be paid handsomely for doing both, but not to anyone's schedule but my own...

I LOVE having a house that runs smoothly, but not because I have a strong desire to be a homemaker, and to show my love for my family through caring for them. Don't get me wrong, I adore my family. I'd be completely devastated if I lost any one of them. Honestly though, I don't have the patience to sit and do crafty stuff with the kids. I prefer to wait until they're in bed to do baking, and as far as I'm concerned there isn't a thing in this house that I can do that Dave can't or shouldn't do as well, and quite frankly, if I had a choice, I'd prefer HE did most of it (though, reality never quite lives up to fantasy, he does do more than a lot of guys I know)...

I do get some pride from making the house run efficiently, because I like to think of myself as fairly smart, and getting things done in the quickest, easiest way possible is smart. But I'd feel the same way about anything, not just the running of this household, and if someone else offered to take over the management of this house and did it as well as I do it, I'd GLEEFULLY hand it over...

At the same time, I just don't WANT to work. I don't want to have to commit to ANYTHING for any amount of time, and work, whatever form it takes (as an employee, or employer or self-employed) requires committment, something that I tend to end up resenting because I have such a short attention span.

I guess I just want to be a lady of leisure, an artist, a student. I might like to work on "projects" because they suggest an endpoint, an end to committment... I don't think I'm lazy, per se. When I sets my sights on something I tend to work full bore at it (then collapse in a heap at the end)... I'm intelligent, determined, focused and damn well organised when I have a focus that drives me, but my focus is that of a sprinter, not a marathon runner, and I think that's the problem with these aforementioned labels...

The career woman commits to a career. The home maker commits to the making of a home. The adaptable woman commits to doing whatever needs to be done at the time, be it hand raising small people, or earning money for the household... I don't fit into these categories because I lack committment to anything in particular...

But, yk, I can't see that as a bad thing, because despite my general lack of committment, I'm here for my kids, I'm here for my partner, I do earn money, and I guess I'm on a kind of career path, and I'm doing all of this without the framework of a label...

2 comments:

Spiralmumma said...

guess I just want to be a lady of leisure, an artist, a student.

Oh me too! And I think many if not most people would agree, if they're being honest. For men change 'lady of leisure' to 'gentleman of leisure' LOL My dream like many people is to win the lotto and never have to work another day in my life.. I'd spend my time doing courses, mostly short courses in this and that, set up a business probably, but not have to worry if it failed or never made any money. I'd also do volunteer work for the needy etc (to not feel too guilty LOL)

But since that scenario is highly unlikely, I know I have to work. I could never be a housewife. Not that I'm a wife anyway so I don't have that choice. But even if I did I would never do that, I'd die of boredom. Housework is at best a necessary evil and at worst my most loathed activity depending on how able I am at that time to think positive! And I'd never want a high flying corporate career either. I'd hate to work a 50+ hour week and not be able to be there for my kids. I don't know how people do it. I have trouble keeping up with school stuff, homework and just being with my kids as a PT worker, PT student! NOT that I am bagging either of those choices at all, just that neither is for me. I guess I'm more the adaptive type. I like working, I like using my brain. I like adult interaction. I don't like high stress workplaces or long hours however.I hate the inflexibility of having to be at work from 9-5, or 3-10 or whatever.. Which is why I have realised that making it as a small business owner is probably my best chance of happiness. Maybe later on I might change careers and go do something esle, but for now I want to be self employed as a writer,graphic designer and website owner and do well at those things. And hopefully be ab;e to pay a housekeeper eventually. That is my dream!!

Stitch Sista said...

I will go read that article (b/c I haven't yet), but I must say I pretty much agree with all you've posted.

Teenagers and the failing parent...