Friday, June 05, 2009

Surrealities...

Dave and I were at a cafe the other day. We sat there with brown hair, brown eyed Bryn on one side of the table and red haired (well, it's definitely auburn), light eyed (probably blue/green) Ari on the other side.

Erik and Luey were at school...

I kept having these surreal sensations of time stopping. If you hadn't seen us in seven years, you might have been forgiven for thinking we were sitting there with Erik and Luey... In fact, it occurred to me that we could really mess with the minds of a couple of cafe owners on Swanston in the city by sitting down with Bryn and Ari, 7 years after the last time they saw us when we only had Erik and Luey...

I had this same feeling a couple of months ago when Jayne, Jen and I went and visited Amanda, with Sienna, Archie, and Ari in tow... People who might only have met us at the Richmond playgroup many moons ago, might have wondered about the reality shift if they saw us with only the children we've had in the past 4 years...

Anyway, with Dave being home so much, and it being the four of us at home, it sometimes feels like we've had two families, with two different sets of children, and it's very unnerving! I find myself feeling much calmer once we can get Erik and Luey into the frame as well!

Another surreality is the timing of FIL's passing. At this time, 10 years ago, I was officially "term", that is 37 weeks, and we were waiting for Erik to arrive. So, ok, so he didn't ACTUALLY arrive until he was unceremoniously booted out of my womb, five weeks from now, but nonetheless, 10 years ago, I was convinced he'd arrive on the 10th of June...

Again, the 10th of June is looming, but this time I have feelings about LOSING someone on that date, namely FIL, and I have to wonder if that was what I was tapping into 10 years ago - that that was why the 10th of June was so significant to me... I kind of hope not...

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Teenagers and the failing parent...