Skip to main content

Well, yesterday sucked!

What do you do when you fall in a hole emotionally?

Yesterday was messy. Having 6 people in the house and knowing it would be like this for another two weeks kind of did my head in. Makes you wonder why I would have so many children when I crave solitude a lot of the time.

It's not that bad, most of the time, but D was in a mood and just wanted to grump at everyone from the second he got up until, well, until I totally lost my cool around lunch time (there is only so much bitching and moaning one woman can take from a grown man).

I went out and did the grocery shopping, which was good.

The thing is, I transfer a lot from my own childhood when D is doing his, "I resent the intrusion into my thinking world that noisy kids create" thing. My dad was like this. Craved order. Craved quiet. But kids don't get all of that, all they hear is, "I don't want you here. You annoy me." Even though I feel that way sometimes, I just don't see it as a good message to pass on to your kids, yk?

It's hard.

D adores his kids, and right now he's taken the three big one across to the other side of our suburb to a fantastic park that we used to visit all the time when we lived over there. They'll muck around, feed the ducks, chat, and generally have a great time, because he is a great dad, but geez, yesterday... Well, that was yesterday.

How do you pick yourself up and plaster a smile on your face and fake it 'til you make it once you've gone to that place where you're seething with anger borne from frustration and you've said and done things you wish you rewind and erase? I mean, it's easy the next day, after you've slept on it, but how do you do it when, in the moment, you know your tantrum isn't actually going to make things better. How do you stop yourself and lighten the mood so everyone has a chance to reclaim the day?

Yesterday, after I lost my cool, all I wanted to do was curl up in bed. Hide away from the people I'd yelled at and slammed doors on. Just looking at the "offenders" seemed to fuel the fire of my irrational anger.

Anger stems from fear, and I guess I'm afraid of my family now being like my family when I was a children. Lots of anger and animosity. Lots of us kids feeling unwanted and the root of every argument. Lots of wishing some kind strangers would come and take me away, LOL. I don't want my kids to wish kind strangers would take them away!

But today is a new day, so another chance to get it right, I guess...

Comments

Leah said…
oh clicked over from bloglines to comment and see spring has sprung :)

no magic cure for turning those days around sometimes, just batten down the hatches and do whatever you can to get in a "downstream" frame of mind I reckon ... so it's good you got to get out without them :) Hope today was better! I had a much better day after my crap day last week and it was just an average day!
Sif said…
Yeah, today has been an average day, got three hours of just me and baby time, which was mostly me time because baby slept for two hours... I can't really complain. I'm not cheered one iota by all the people who are loving that it's the holidays though... Wish I could love that it is the holidays but truth be told, I think we're all happier with term time (except Dave, who is now getting a sleep in til 8am each morning...)...
Leah said…
Yeah it can be hard to have school holidays when you're well into the groove or the opposite, feeling stretched already ... they have come at a good time for us, just generally a bit "over it" but nothing stressful going on either, makes them easier to appreciate! Plus I have 1/2 the kids and Steve out the house 12 hours a day, I totally see why 6 in the birdnest for 2 weeks makes you a bit anxious about legroom!
Stitch Sista said…
Ah *those* days...yup we have them.

Often on weekends b/c DH is working Mon-Fri, the dynamic is all screwed up and we are totally out of sync with everything it seems...and it seems just so miserable. I'm all hope and light on Saturday morning, and if he dares grump around at all it just totally does my head in. But yk I'm part of it too...so I have the whole guilt thing on top!

Thankfully the days pass, and the kids forget a lot of it I reckon (I hope)...
Spiralmumma said…
Well I'm one of those annoying people loving the school holidays-but you do realise it's not out of any sappy, lovey dovey motives to be around my kids don't you?! Nuh uh, it's all about the sleep ins here! And lack of rushing. I just adore being able to do things at our own pace. I AM enjoying having the kids around mind you, but no doubt that will change some time within the next 2 weeks, when the fighting truly sets in!
But seriously, of course everyone has bad days-and 6 of you in a small house must be wearing on you-I can imagine I'd be more than a little troppo if that were me, especially if there was someone being grumpy added into the deal. I hope you're having a better day today and will continue to have better days. The weather improving is at least one good thing, and you can chuck 'em all outside! Including Dave ;-P

Popular posts from this blog

12 Things Happy People Do Differently - a self-reflection...

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the above poster on her wall. I believe she got these points from this blog which she enjoys reading, and the bloggers on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog derived their discussion of these points from this book, available on Amazon - you're welcome! I have to admit, I haven't read the blog or the book I've just mentioned but wanted my readers to have access to the sources of the poster for their own reflective purposes.
The New Year will be upon us in but a few days and I thought this a great opportunity to do a little personal assessment on how I'm playing the happy game. I'm often not very happy at all - I don't need to be happy all the time, let me just say that up front - I personally believe that life is a balancing act and those who seek euphoria often will also often feel desolation because in all things there must be balance. The great riches of the few on this planet come at the personal cost of the many as is …

The symbolism of elephants...

Just recently I've been seeing and noticing elephants everywhere!

A few weeks ago I saw the Samsung Elephant Ad, and watching that led me to watching a video with an elephant painting (seriously, you have to watch it to believe it!).

Then last night the boys told me they were having a free dress day at school to raise money for 'Mali the Elephant' - who turned out to be a paper maché statue which the children will paint and then show around the council before it comes back to the school to stand outside the performing arts room.

Then this morning I followed a link from Twitter to Toushka Lee's blog and read this post about an elephant orphanage in Sri Lanka.

This morning the Grumpy Old Man did another driving test and unfortunately didn't pass. We've booked his next test and are looking forward to that now. About ten minutes before he walked in the door I saw this poster on Facebook...


At the time, I didn't know if the Grumpy Old Man had been successful or …

Do you have low self-esteem?

I don't.

I used to think I did, but having met several people who really do have low self-esteem, I've now come to realise I actually have low confidence (and note I don't say low self-confidence, but more on that later), and that is a different breed of animal all together.

I was having a chat with a friend the other day about people who constantly put themselves down. If you are a participant in social media you might be aware of this kind of person. Everyone is smarter than them, prettier than them, more motivated, better organised, or has greater talent than them. It goes further, some of these people are not at all opposed to running themselves down to others with comments like, 'I'm so fat' (and not in a proud, fat acceptance way, but in a negative, self-loathing kind of way), or 'I'm stupid' or 'I'm ugly'.

Some people are just fishing for compliments, of course, but the ones who persist; the ones who simply cannot take a complimen…