Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Hazards of Thinking Out Loud...

I love to think. I love to sit and think about stuff more than anything else. More than reading a book, more than eating chocolate, more than making love (and I love making love - who doesn't)...

Unfortunately, I also love feedback on my thoughts. Partially because I think I'm oh-so-very-clever in some of my thinking, no truly, I tend to think that the way I think about stuff is so totally different to how other people think about stuff that it MUST be completely original and therefore fascinating for others to read... Partially because, ironically, I want to be challenged on what I think - this both tells me how original my thinking is, and whether or not I'm actually retaining any contact with reality in my thinking.

The problem is, I don't really take my thinking all that seriously, but quite often I sense that other people do.

I'll throw a random thought or idea out there into the interwebs and I might be well and truly married to the idea in the millisecond that it takes to pass from my mind to the screen, but that might be where my commitment to that idea ends. Sometimes though, I sense that other people read my thoughts and think I not only wholeheartedly internalise the beliefs sorrounding the random things I spout on any particular day, but that I am in some way judging them because they can relate to something I've said.

Maybe my blog should bear the subtitle: Enter at your own risk.

Now, I guess the immediate solution to this issue would be to stop blogging my random thoughts. Or to do a course at Tafe, perhaps "Tact 101"... If only I could grow some interpersonal intelligence. Which leads me to the question, how responsible am I for how other people might feel when they read my words? How responsible am I for other people feeling, in some way, judged by me? I could flippantly say, that's not my problem, people need to own their own self-image and if what I'm saying doesn't ring true for them then they need not feel judge by me because who am I anyway, just another opinionated blogger.

The thing is, I'm not able to detach myself that easily from other people's responses to what I write. I don't want to make anyone feel judged by me. Certainly, my intentions are never to cause other people emotional turmoil or pain. So, I can just hope that people will not take my public musings as anything other than what they're intended - me publicly exposing my internal workings for feedback and review.

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Teenagers and the failing parent...