The overwhelming feeling I have is to want to quit. Generally speaking, I'm not a quitter, but therein lies my issue, you see. I love starting stuff - that's another issue I have, by the way - but I'm not a fan of quitting if I start too much at once. This is why I'm fairly familiar with that feeling I'm having right now. That faint smell of smouldering around the edges. I've taken on too much. My enthusiasm for all I've taken on has waned. I'm suffering the first signs of burnout.
I'm thinking this may be genetic. I've watched my mum go through this a few times. The "can-do" spirit is strong in both of us. The inability to let go is also very strong. So, the pattern goes something like this;
- Oh wow, that looks really INTERESTING, or alternatively, something needs to be done about THAT! I'll do it! Sure, I'm already doing four other things, but hey, I'm superwoman, I can do it all! I may EVEN get a medal for doing it all (yes, there is a touch of ego invested in doing it all).
- This is hard work, but all things good are hard work, and the prize I'll get if I just push on through the pain barrier, it'll be worth it!
- Ok, admittedly, I'm not coping too well. I'm not a quitter though, so I have to just do this! I'll be so happy when it done, it'll be worth the struggle.
- Argh! I'm soooo tired! I want to hide away.
- I HATE this! This was a STUPID idea! When I finish this, I SWEAR I'll NEVER commit myself to something like this again!!!
- Thank GOD! That's over! NEVER AGAIN!
- Oh, what's this, this looks interesting! Or alternatively, SOMEONE has to do SOMETHING about this...
Right now, I'm stuck somewhere between points 4 and 5...