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Showing posts from May, 2010

Simple Pleasures...

I don't know too many people who can resist taking photos of children blowing bubbles...



Bubbles are truly one of lifes simple pleasures when you have children. They incredibly inexpensive, they get kids out of doors, the don't require electricity or batteries, and they don't make noise!

And yet they seem to provide endless joy to children of all ages, as the following photos show.

This morning Luey (9 next month) and Bryn (4) let me take some photos of them enjoying the bubble mix they got in their lolly bags from a friends party last night...

Action, reaction!

Check out the concentration...

The wonder!

Look how big this bubble is mum!

Bubbles, one of lifes great simple pleasures!

Starting to get back into the writing groove.

I've been doing some reading for my thesis research. Not technical reading... Fiction reading. As part of my research I'm supposed to read works marketed at the same market of readers that I'm shooting for. Admittedly, I've only read one book (yes, I realise I've been working on this Masters for nearly three years now.), but even that one book has been inspirational for me.

From there, I decided to follow the author on Twitter. Then I decided to follow a bunch of other writers on Twitter.

Twitter has been a place for me. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love the light entertainment it offers, and I love being able to catch up with friends via tweets. Sadly, the medium has not been all love and light. The nature of it being that you can dip in and out of "conversations" between all your "friends" on Twitter has meant that I've gotten myself into trouble on Twitter more than once. I've read back on conversations which hav…

The second half of the year is going to be BRILLIANT!

I'm getting a little excited now!

Some good things have happened this week that give me a bit of hope about the second half of the year...

Dave's driving instructor told him that soon he'd be booking Dave in for his driving test and Dave would receive a receipt in the mail (I'm assuming that'll be in the next month or so).Bryn went on his first ever play date to a mates house without a parent or sibling for support, he's making friends at Kinder!I found out I've completed my placement hours for general placement and only have 20 hours of Kinder placement left.When I let the director of my placement CCC know I wouldn't be coming back for placement now, she was very encouraging about keeping me on the books and calling me when they needed relief work - she double checked that she had the right contact number, so I'm hopeful of being called in in future.So, right now the second half of 2010 is looking bright! This is what I'm seeing for us.

I am work…

Getting hits...

I was watching House last night... Love House, the irreverence and all that... It was an episode about a woman who blogged her life on the net (where else do you blog) and insisted on being completely honest about everything, sharing everything about her life, tho especially the stuff that most people might be embarrassed to blog about - her period, fighting with her partner etc...

Her partner was not impressed with all this frank blogging or how the comments on her blog seemed to be influencing her choices more than her own reflections on the choices she had to make. For example, the doctors found she had a very weak heart valve which needed replacing, they told her she could either use a plastic valve which would also require her to go on blood thinners for the rest of her life, blood thinners known to cause foetal abnormality (she'd blogged about how she didn't want a child but her partner did). Alternatively, she could opt for a pig valve which wasn't as durable, bu…

The things people say...

Today I was talking to my room leader about being nearly finished with my Cert III and going on to paid employment. I mentioned that I was a little concerned that my vision impairment might turn potential employers off hiring me because having a legally blind person "watching" a group of kids might make people anxious. I said I understood this, but also that I felt the biggest issue would be that these potential employers wouldn't have had the opportunity to see me work, and to see how capable I am.

Anyway, the roomleader asked me the same two questions 100s of other people have asked me over the years, first, "Have you had this vision impairment all your life?", and second, "And there isn't anything you can do to make it better, like glasses or something?"

I really can't help but laugh... The first question is reasonable, and yes, I've been like this all my life (which is why you can't immediately tell when you first meet me that I …

Unpainted paintings...

Sheesh, it's Wednesday night already!

Running into the final weeks of this Certificate now. Two more weeks of classes after tomorrow, and then Kinder placement, then one more week, then we're done! I'm starting my kinder placement a week early because the kinder I'm going to only does morning sessions and so two weeks wouldn't be quite enough for me to gain my 40 hours of experience. Only tomorrow and two more days next week at the Early Learning Centre where I've done all my workplacement to date - WOW!

We have an anaphylaxis training session on Saturday, which tickles my funny bone a bit because for two year Erik had an epipen, and I knew how to use it, but it's been nearly a year since he was cleared for his peanut allergy and here I am finally doing an "official" certificate in the use of epipens! Irony much?

Today, Dave put in two job applications for "casual freelance" positions. Fingers crossed please (everyone who cares, that i…

Towards the end of the week...

It's Friday, and it feels like Friday, too...

I woke up feeling flat and unmotivated this morning. I said to Dave that I might skip this mornings walk and he gently suggested that maybe this morning I should stick with the shorter walk. I did. I'm glad I did because I now I know I've walked and I know that's something I've done today to promote well being for myself. I still feel flat.

The weeks are slowly counting down to the end of this course. After today there are only 6 weeks to go until it's all done. Only two more weeks at the Child Care Centre where I'll have done most of my placement. It'll be a struggle again to get in there today. Not because I hate the work, or because the people are unfriendly, just because I feel a bit like a fifth wheel. There's always plenty to do, but yes, I'm a student, not a paid worker and I feel like the centre is doing my a favour, not the other way around. I really hope employment feels differently…

Grinning in the rain...

As I set out for my walk at 6.30 this morning, I noted that it was cold and there were a few puffy clouds around. There was evidence that it had been raining not so long ago, but there seemed to be no more rainclouds on the horizon, so I set off.

I got about halfway through my walk (so had walked about 3kms) and noticed the clouds gathering. By this stage I was nicely warmed up and enjoying the cold breeze. Then it started to drizzle. Ok, drizzle isn't too bad, a nice little spray of cool mist on my face was refreshing and I powered on.

Soon though the mist turned to drops and then the drops turned to sheets of pelting, ice cold rain.

This is where I remind you that Winter and I are not friends. Moreover, I loathe rain. Even on hot Summer days, I still loathe it. I'm not a fan of getting wet. Once in water, I love water, but the process of getting wet is less than pleasant for me...

So, you'd think once it started pouring, I would have been cursing the gods for not rew…

No shortage of churches around here!

So, I've been walking around my suburb in the past three days. I have two routes I've mapped out for myself; a 4.5km walk, and then a 6.3km for when I'm feeling up to a bit more. The first couple of days I walked I did the shorter route and was quite surprised to pass 4 churches! I tend to walk most main roads in this area and those four churches were found on two of those roads. The were all traditional looking churches and belonged to the Uniting church (1), the Catholic church (1), the Salvos (1) and the Anglican church (1).

Then this morning I did my longer walk (mostly to see how much long it actually takes and how taxing it is). This walk doesn't pass any of the four churches I'd passed before, but I found two more churches on another main road. These two were modern, penticostal churches with playgrounds for the children and full "convention centre" type facilities.

Besides these 6 churches, I also know of at least 4 other churches in my smalli…

I'm gonna walk, walk, walk my SADness out...

So, if you haven't been reading my blog lately - and let's face it, there hasn't been a lot here to want to read - you may not have picked up on the fact that I'm very stressed at the moment with various committments. On top of this (mostly) self-inflicted stress, the season has been turning towards Winter. Winter and I are not friends. For me, Winter is a cold, bleak tunnel between Autumn and Spring. I suffer from Seasonal Adjustment Disorder (SAD - which oddly is also my initials) as do many of my Scandi relatives and this time of year always sees me feeling more depressed than other times of the year.

This year has been particularly tough. The SAD crashed down on me like some sort of Perfect Storm colliding with the pressures of studying, doing workplacement, being a parent to four and the person in the household who takes care of the finances (which are scarce, to say the least)...

I've felt desperate in this last week, if I'm perfectly honest. The only…

In the process...

Change is hard. Change is also inevitable. Even as I write this, even as you read this, we are changing. Subtle changes happens all the time and because we often don't take much notice of them, they don't seem to bother us too much. Sometimes we suddenly become aware of a change that has been happening for a while, but that we haven't notice and it takes us by surprise - not in a good way. The, "OMG, how did I manage to put on 10kg overnight?" change, that wasn't really overnight, but just so subtle we didn't notice...

Other change, even when it's slow, and sometimes because it seems TOO SLOW, can be very painful.

Labour is a pretty dramatic change which is also very painful and in the midst of it all, more often than not, seems to be taking FAR TOO LONG! Painful change always takes too long.

Labour tells us something about slow, painful change, though. It tells us that slow, painful change can lead to something equisitely beautiful. Something we…

The little things...

I'm struggling a lot at the moment. More than I have in many years. I'm at a point in my life where it feels as if I'm carrying a lot of responsibility without much support. I'm not trying to have a pity party here, just stating my reality. So, waves of overwhelming sadness wash over me frequently right now, and sometimes I feel like I'm drowning, and other times I wish I could drown so I could stop struggling to stay afloat.

I'm an optimist at heart though, and so I know this is just a period in my life that will pass. Things will inevitably get better, as they always do. I'm not sure when that is going to happen - just when I've thought it was going to happen in the recent past, another wave has crashed over me and I've gone back to flailing my arms in a desperate search for oxygen.

There are things that keep me going, little things, and I thought I'd post them here...

Hugs for my boys.Watching Ari sleep.The sun coming out when it's not…

I understand people who cut themselves...

I don't cut myself, but i understand the motives of people who do.

When you feel pain and you have no control over how and when the suffering is inflicted, it makes sense to inflict suffering on yourself because the pain will come anyway but at least this way you are in control of it.

Purposeful self inflicted suffering feels more dignified because it is a choice and you can stop (though, why would you?).

So, yeah, i don't cut myself, but i sympathise with those who do. When you realise how very little control you have over your own life, self inflicted pain becomes about reclaiming control.

The Inner Good Girl Phenomenon...

I know a group of women who believe that most women in our society were handed an inner good girl at birth, and that they've been trained to listen to this inner good girl over listening to their own feelings, their own needs and desires. Women who listen to their Inner Good Girl often won't stand up for their beliefs if those beliefs don't reflect the most common societal beliefs. They certainly never say no to other people, in case other people might not like them. Basically, they try to always be nice, and always be GOOD. Always say and do what pleases society.

I'm not sure where the hell I was when they were handing out these Inner Good Girls. I was probably off daydreaming, or maybe I got sidetracked by something glittery or fluttery - it happens a lot to me that I get side tracked. There is so much out there that others don't seem to notice because they're always so focused. They miss the things you can only see out of the corner of your eye when yo…

My first ever blog post...

The lovely Jen at Jemikaan has tagged me in a Meme and asked me to re-post my first ever blogpost...

I love looking back at old posts of mine, trying to remember how I was feeling when I wrote them, but am a bit dubious that the first ever blog post will offer anything in the way of enthralling reading...

January 13, 2006
Where to begin?
I've been meaning to blog for the longest time, I used to keep a fairly consistent diary all through my late teens and twenties, but it went a bit slack after Erik's birth, and was all but forgotten after Luey's birth. Since having Bryn, I've realised I spend too much time at the computer to realistically keep up with a written journal, so online will have to do... Besides, friends have been showing me their e-scrapbooking efforts and I'm keen to give it a go as well...

I've titled my blog "At the bottom of the Garden" because I'm liable to come out with some rather strange musings on life, and spirituality and what no…

Samhain Blessings...

Today marks the new year in the Pagan calender and I'm using it to have a fresh start on a few things.

Most of my pagan friends LOVE Samhain, but I find this a difficult Sabbat because it marks the departure of the Sun. I love the Sun, and I miss him when he's not here as much. As a special parting gift, the Sun came out in all his glory over Melbourne today. He kissed my forehead and filled me a lightness I sorely needed. I will miss him in the coming long Winter months.

In preparing my mind and home to welcome the introspective months of Winter, I went out and bought a couple of tourines today, so that our little family can gather around the dinner table on cold nights and share steaming hot slower cooker meals and homemade soups straight from the stove. I've been feeling, for a while, that there is something special in serving directly to the table and people helping themselves from a communal pot, rather than serving to plates (which also speeds the cooling process,…

Kicking goals...

Today, after two months of daydreaming, I finally had enough money to
get those tourines, water jugs and the canvas I wanted. I had hoped
to source them from the local opshop, but unfortunately it was closed
and I do have free days during the week atm to go when it's open. So,
we got these from our local $2 shop. The canvas was from the Reject
Shop and only cost $20. I have paints and brushes at home, so I'm
going to have fun making some cheap and cheerful homemade art (Dave
wants to join a support group for Tara Dennison-esque artist wannabe
widowers)...