Saturday, June 12, 2010

Galifreyans, one and all...

A couple of days ago I saw a post on a forum, a post I've seen so many times, one I've posted myself on this blog at least once, if not twice... It was one of those, "I wish I could find my tribe" posts. Some poor individual feeling unconnected in society because there was no one else around her that she could really connect with.

We've all felt like this, I know!

I'm actually thinking it's a stage of development, I will call it the Galifreyan stage. Those of you who are Dr Who-philes like myself may understand this reference, for the rest of you, let me explain.

Dr Who is a Galifreyan. He is a Time Lord from Galifrey, a planet that no longer exists. A civilisation that was obliterated by war, leaving only one known survivor, The Doctor. So, Dr Who is the very essence of UNIQUE. Being unique can be extremely lonely. No one seems to be just like you, or think just like you. You can feel terribly isolated in this stage of development.

After asserting our independants of our parents and their culture in our teens and early twenties, we cast about for somewhere where we fit in. At first we wholesale buy the beliefs and lifestyle of a favoured sub-culture, but as we have more experiences and question our adopted culture further, we often find we don't agree with *everything* even if we do agree with a lot of it. Or we develop our own interpretations of the consensus about reality which then differentiates us from other in that subculture.

Then we enter the Galifreyan stage where we wonder why we can't seem to fit in anywhere. Life was a lot easier when we were children and people told us what to think, but we're glad we can think for ourselves now, if only we could find other people who thought the same way about everything as we do...

After a while, sometimes a very long while, we start to feel comfortable with our uniqueness. We may even embrace it - which makes it so much each to embrace other people's uniqueness as well because we realise what courage it takes to actually be happy being singular!

It has only been very recently that I came to embrace my uniqueness. I stopped judging myself through other people's lives and I stopped needing other people to agree with me to validate my understanding of things. I've stopped hoping to find my tribe because I've realised there isn't ever going to be a group of people just like me. I feel much freer to drift between the many tribes of people I know who share common beliefs because I've realised they are all drifted between their own tribes. Most people are tribe travellers like this. Those who don't travel, who just wait for people to come to them, they only get to see a very, very small part of the universe...

1 comment:

Spiralmumma said...

Great post :) I feel similarly- there's no one tribe I belong to , no single philosophy I support wholeheartedly. Yet if I look around, there are serversl tribes I feel happy to hang out with, and feel accepted within for who I am :)

Teenagers and the failing parent...