Skip to main content

My grey day...

Researchers have found that depression literally causes people to see the world drained of it's most vibrant colours - depression causes people to see things in shades of grey!


Apparently, this change is literal perception of the world around the depressed person can further deepen and entrench the depressive symptoms in the sufferer.

As a sufferer of Seasonal Adjustment Disorder, I have to say that grey days certainly do make me feel depressed and apathetic.

Today has been one of those days.  Nothing in particular has been "bad", it's just been cold and rainy and Ari and I have been feeling tired after a couple of big days out (though socialising with friends NEVER depresses me, I simply pour a lot of energy into social situations so I need down time to recoup).

Today, I've barely mustered more than the energy to do the basics - feed myself and the youngest child and surf the net.  I need to do so much more than this, and I WANT to do more than this, but when everything is grey it's just. so. hard!

So, I wonder what the remedy for this downward spiral would be?

I did feel better after I turned on the ducted heating - that's why I'm now blogging!

So, maybe sorrounding myself with lots of bright colours?

Interestingly, I'm naturally attracted to very bright colours - rainbow colours!  Maybe this is a subconscious coping mechanism to combat any changes in the cornea as a result of depression?

I haven't had any real depression (as in long last, with that insurmountable feeling) since 2004; just occassional dippy days like today, but with all the work ahead of me in the next couple of months I really can't afford too many more apathetic days like today and unfortunately, I can't simply hybernate until the Sun comes out to play again because by then I'll be out of time!


I guess this means action stations are necessary!

Comments

Crystal said…
What great reading, you have a real way with words...it is all thoughs years at uni...thanks

Popular posts from this blog

12 Things Happy People Do Differently - a self-reflection...

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the above poster on her wall. I believe she got these points from this blog which she enjoys reading, and the bloggers on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog derived their discussion of these points from this book, available on Amazon - you're welcome! I have to admit, I haven't read the blog or the book I've just mentioned but wanted my readers to have access to the sources of the poster for their own reflective purposes.
The New Year will be upon us in but a few days and I thought this a great opportunity to do a little personal assessment on how I'm playing the happy game. I'm often not very happy at all - I don't need to be happy all the time, let me just say that up front - I personally believe that life is a balancing act and those who seek euphoria often will also often feel desolation because in all things there must be balance. The great riches of the few on this planet come at the personal cost of the many as is …

The symbolism of elephants...

Just recently I've been seeing and noticing elephants everywhere!

A few weeks ago I saw the Samsung Elephant Ad, and watching that led me to watching a video with an elephant painting (seriously, you have to watch it to believe it!).

Then last night the boys told me they were having a free dress day at school to raise money for 'Mali the Elephant' - who turned out to be a paper maché statue which the children will paint and then show around the council before it comes back to the school to stand outside the performing arts room.

Then this morning I followed a link from Twitter to Toushka Lee's blog and read this post about an elephant orphanage in Sri Lanka.

This morning the Grumpy Old Man did another driving test and unfortunately didn't pass. We've booked his next test and are looking forward to that now. About ten minutes before he walked in the door I saw this poster on Facebook...


At the time, I didn't know if the Grumpy Old Man had been successful or …

Alone... And Stuff...

Do you ever just need to be alone?



As the boys are growing up, we have more times when the house is quiet. The youngest will be asleep. One will be reading, one will be playing on his computer with headphones on, one will be painting and there is stillness.

Sometimes, even that is not enough.

Sometimes I crave being alone, with no possibility of someone suddenly realising they have to tell me something important or ask me a question or even just crash about in the kitchen.

Sometimes I crave S P A C E, lots and lots of space, being able to walk from room to room without encountering another soul.

This is how I felt when I woke up this morning, so instead of getting ready for work, I decided to stay home. Get up, but not go anywhere, no hear the sound of my own voice, or anyone else's.

I think this might just be part of getting older. After a lifetime of chasing after other people and trying not to be alone, my mind and body is full of thoughts, experiences, feelings, and busy-ness …