Friday, August 20, 2010

A Profound Moment...

Last night I watched the final episode in the ABC series Making of Modern Australia.  This last episode dealt with Australia's religious history, and several religiously inclined Australian's related their progression over the years in their faith.  One couple were missionaries in Papua New Guinea for many years and while there, they had three children.  Their last child, David, sadly died at 7 days of age because he was born during a flood and the parents couldn't get to the medical assistance they needed for him, and the resident doctor couldn't reach them.  Even 50 odd years on, the pain of their loss was raw and close to the surface and brought tears to my eyes.

Several hours later I went to bed.  The thought of this couple's loss came back to me, and I went where no parent ever wants to go.  I started to think about how I would feel if any one of my boys were to die.  I was immediately overcome with deep, agonizing pain which made me quietly cry.  Then something very profound happened.  Ari, who had been sleeping at right angles to me in the bed, got up and crawled towards me.  He put his head on my pillow so his face was facing mine and he kissed my face several times.  Then he put his little arm around my shoulder and hugged me and drifted back off to sleep.  The way we were positioned, his head was slightly closer to the headboard than might, so it was as if I was the child and he was the comforting adult.  It blew me away!  He's only 21 months old and he was asleep - as far as I knew - and yet something in him prompted him to comfort me in my self-inflicted distress.

3 comments:

Clel said...

Wow Sif. What an emotionally attuned babe.

This issue has been on my mind a lot the last few weeks, as it's been the anniversary of a friend's child's sudden death; it's certainly made me more responsive to my own kids, and less likely to have blowouts if they're doing 'stressful' things...I think it's a good thing to keep in mind, TBH.

Sif said...

Honestly, it never even occurred to me before I had Bryn. I was 33 when I had him, and only 27/29 when I had my first two (and a late bloomer emotionally), so I think I was still very much in the "that stuff can't happen to me/us" way of thinking.

But then, also in recent years I've known several people who lost children either at birth, soon after or once the children were older. It's made it all too real for me.

Nic said...

Aww Ari, how beautiful !

This topic is one I like to just go "lalalalalalala and pretend it doesn't exsist" which sounds stupid, but anytime I even start to think about it the pain is immense, like the one you described.

Teenagers and the failing parent...