Friday, September 17, 2010

Just not this week...

I haven't blogged in a few days because, well, quite frankly, I've felt drained.

Melbourne weather leaves a lot to be desired after sunny days in Adelaide, and I'm feeling frustrated about a number of things that I am not in the position to "make happen", but must resign myself to being patient and waiting for.

I have the Dalai Lama on my Twitter feed.  He's a new addition and I'm not a buddhist, so I feel a bit funny about having him there, but what's to say that wisdom can't be sourced from all over the place, hey?

Last night the Dalai Lama tweeted (Okay, Dave and I are fairly certain the Dalai Lama isn't actually sitting in a cafe somewhere fiddling with his Blackberry or iPhone, but for the sake of continuity...),

It is worth remembering that the time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of difficulty

I read this out loud to Dave and his response was, "Well, then we should be just about to breach enlightenment!"

Yes, yes, I know I've gone on and on ad nauseum about the various hardships we've been through in the past 18 months (and more now)...  So, this blogpost is going to be about the impending sense of "Resolution" I've been feeling just recently (which, oddly seems to be increasing my frustration levels because breakthrough is so close I could almost reach out and touch - almost, but not quite)...

After this week's driving lesson, Dave informed me that his instructor said he wants Dave to do his driving test before Christmas.  Yay!  Christmas is 98 days away.  So, within the next 98 days Dave will have done his driving test and passed (his instructor won't let him sit it until he's sure he'll pass it).  98 days probably seems like a long time to you, but it's been 579 days since he started taking lessons...  So, soon Dave will have a lisence, just not this week...

In 48 days time, I'll be finished with my Masters Degree, come hell or high water, people.  48 days to go!  I'll be finished soon, just not this week...

In a week's time, applications close for the job Dave is currently applying for.  It's a full-time position, and it fits him like a glove.  I so badly want THIS job to be THE JOB.  Let's say he gets and interview and gets the job, with the turn around time that stuff takes these days, he could be working in a month's time.  That's not far off, it's just not this week...

Those are the big things...  Then there are a bunch of little, maybe, if the stars align and I'm good enough, kind of things I have going on the back burners...

There is hope of a PhD for next year, and even MORE interestingly, a PhD with a teaching component to it.  If I was ever to have a career (and I'm so not a career kind of person with all the commitment and competition that goes with that) then teaching creative writing would be it!  Of course, I need to be published, and I don't mean a few articles here and there, a few shorts stories and poems, but published, as in a novel.  I'd need to be an actual emergent writer, not an emergent writer-wannabe...  BUT, hey, if I'm going to do a PhD, and get those Dr letters in front of my name and get published and be a teacher, then a PhD with a teaching component HAS to be the way to go!  If I can just get in!  My career of choice (assuming I take this leap into the world of careers) is almost within reach, just not this week...

I've entered a competition today.   I'm not saying which, because I'm a bit shy and stupidsticious, but anyhoo, if I placed in this competition, it might mean the difference doing or not doing a couple of things I'd like to be doing this coming year.  Cryptic, yes, sorry about that, but some things need to be kept under wraps, even for an open book like me.  Doing is possible, just not this week...

Oh, and Spring?  Well, on the farmers calender it doesn't start 'til next week, people.  Sadly, the forecast for next week looks all but identical to this week; showery, blustery and COLD!  Too cold to really call it Spring. I know the warm weather is on it's way, as day follows night, so must Summer Sun follow Winter Winds, but sheesh, it's just TAKING TOO LONG!

Yes, I can feel wisdom and strength sprouting deep roots in me with every new day....  Now, if only the blossom I know must be awe-inspiring could lift it's head and unfurl just a little (and stop me feeling so woefully frustrated and sorry for myself)...









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