Sunday, October 31, 2010

It's spring and I'm falling in love... with ME!

I've been looking at swimmers.

I haven't been swimming since about 2006, and I don't fit into the swimmers I had back then.  There was recently talk of a trip involving spa hopping and I realised I have NOTHING to wear!  I really want something flattering for my oh-so-womanly figure, and then someone (actually a few someone's) posted links to this swimsuit...

Gorgeous, isn't it?  I'm not sure it's for me though.  It has one of those elastic shelf bust supports, and well, I don't know if that's quite enough support for my Fabulous Fiends...

So, I kept looking...  I'm loving this suit right now...


And it comes in red, white, gold, blue and black as well, but the pink is, well, so PINK - and eye catching!

Just recently, I've realised that I'm actually really very happy with how I look at the moment.  I'm just about as well rounded as I've ever been, and I know that for my health I need to be thinking about shedding a few kilos, but I'm the happiest I've ever been with myself in every other regard.  About four years ago now, I lost 32kg (which I've regained in the intervening period) and while I experienced a lot of pleasure over having lost the weight (it was a powerful feeling of control) and being able to shop in regular clothing stores, I also felt much more critical of my body and how it sagged and wrinkled without the fat to plump the skin out.

In the past few months I've discovered that the kind of clothes I like to wear (peasant, hippie, bohemian styles of clothing) are now being sold - at affordable prices - for women my size and I am beyond myself with excitement, and at the same time my self-loathing thoughts have diminished to almost nothing!  (OK, occasionally, I do look in the mirror and wish my upper arms were a bit smaller).

I know so many GORGEOUS plus sized women, and I've come to realise that quite possibly if I view them as gorgeous, the rest of the world doesn't necessarily view me as hideous.  It's been freeing, and now I want to make the most of myself and dress the way I want to dress, and no longer feel as though I'm not worthy of clothing I love, or that I don't want people to see me (because, hey, I do love clothing that gets noticed!).

It's spring and I'm falling in love with me!  (in a good way, not in an obnoxious, everyone adore me, kind of way)




2 comments:

Rachael said...

I love this post!!
You know when I look in the mirror I see a beautiful rubinesque body. It would go just perfectly in an old oil painting.

The problem only comes when I try to clothe it in unsuitable fashions. I never feel so fat as when my clothes are awkward or snug.

I'm still disappointed with photos at times because it can be shocking to me to see the size progression over the years BUT like you I mostly feel great and I ve always preferred rounded and thinned out over saggy baggy lol.

Harish said...

Nice post! i believe the cloths that we wear should compliment our body. not the other way around. shaping the body according to the cloths is like chopping your feet to fit the bed size :-)

Teenagers and the failing parent...