Monday, December 27, 2010

Aha moment...

Those who know me personally will know I'm the sort of person who always manages to achieve whatever I set my mind to.  In fact, life is always kind to me in that way.  That said, the past two years have been a trial, and in particular there have a been a few things I've wanted to achieve that seem to have been very slow in coming to me - which has been quite weird, actually...

So, I've been observing myself and trying to figure out what it is that stands in my way at this point in my life, and I've realised something.

You'll hear, with regards to manifesting, that if you can imagine it, you can see it come to fruition.  Quite often this is couched in the caveat that if it isn't happening for you, then you just don't have enough faith - irrespective of whether the people doing the couching are New Age or of some other distinct religious bent.

What I've notice, just personally, is that if I can imagine it NOT happening, then there is a far greater chance it won't happen!  It's not so much about faith, as need.

For example, finishing a thesis Masters so I could attempt to qualify for a PhD was something I just could not imagine NOT happening.  I started my first Masters degree back in 1999, but about half way through that degree, I found that because I had a baby and a was pregnant with my second, I just couldn't keep up the work to complete the thesis in a timely fashion. So, I changed over to a course work Masters.  Even then, I knew the day would come that I would have to undertake a second Masters degree in order to be eligible for a PhD at some point in the future.

After that first Masters degree, I didn't study for 4.5 years, but all the time, I knew taking up another Masters was inevitable.  And so, three and a half years ago, and opportunity presented itself to do exactly the kind of Masters degree I wanted to do.  Doing this second Masters really tested me, there were a lot of obstacles to overcome, and yet I always knew I would finish it - not finishing it just wasn't a real option to me - even when I confided in friends that I was considering dropping it (and unanimously they all told me I wouldn't drop it - they knew too).

One day I will have the letters 'Dr' in front of my name, and I am certain about it, simply because I can't imagine it not happening (if it doesn't happen, it'll be because I stopped living before I achieved this outcome, which would be why I can't imagine it not happening, I can't imagine not living)...

On the other hand...  I can completely imagine living on a very low income and getting by from week to week the way we do now.  I know we can continue to do this and be okay - not great, but okay - and I think that is why we're not moving forward in this arena of our lives.

When you can't imagine not seeing something come to fruition, you are more alert to the opportunities being presented to you, and you are motivated to act on those opportunities.  This is not to say that "you make it happen", I still believe there is a greater power but you have to connect with that greater power (call it God, or the Universe or whatever pleases you), you have to be ready to graciously acknowledge and accept what is right in front of you, being offered in response to your request...

If you put it out there that you are starving, but then shut your eyes to the food put on the table in front of you, you will continue to starve - which begs the question, how starving can you actually be if the aroma and sight of the food in front of you doesn't cause you to spring into action with gratitude and renew verve?

Something for me to think about...

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