'You talk too much to be an introvert!' and other misunderstandings.

I'm an introvert.

People who don't understand the psychological terms used by Jung, and who have met me in person will be chuckling into their electronic screens right now.

I find that almost any time I tell people I'm an introvert, someone will have that reaction because introversion is so often associated with shyness and timidness. Say the word introvert and people tend to think of drab wall flowers who don't make eye contact and mumble their words.

One look at me will tell you I'm bright, bold and loud!

I do suffer from agoraphobia, which means I have threshold syndrome; I find it extremely hard to leave the house unassisted (psychologically). This is probably mostly related to having relatively low vision, but is also just a fear of taking up space and being a nuisance to other people if I have no specific errand to fulfil. Why I don't feel I have as much right as anyone else to just be out there is still a mystery to me - even after many hours of professional counselling.

But agoraphobia aside, I am an introvert - a brightly dressed figure you'll find no where near the wall at a party, the one you can hear even before you enter the room...

At last weekend's Trivia Night, I was the one dragging others to the dance floor (not the Grumpy Old Man - he has a gamy knee). I was the one who stood alone at the end of True and False game and took a theatrical bow after I received my prize.

At the school gate I draw attention to myself in my red and purple, or red and green, or purple and green medieval clothing choices...

I'm an introvert.

How can I possibly make this claim, you might be wondering?

The definition of an introvert in common dictionaries often includes the word shy, but this is a common misconception. Introversion and extroversion were terms used by Jung to describe where people found  their energies. Introverts tend to draw their energy from introspection and reflection. Extroverts tend to draw their energy from interaction with other people.

While I enjoy seeing other people, I find it exhausting - draining of my energies. One outing, or even an event at home where others come to see me, usually leaves me craving solitude to process all the stimuli. I need time to think about all that was said and done. Events like Christmas or extended trips away from home almost always leave me exhausted to the point of tears as the adrenalin leaves my body again.

Even in my own home, I 'hide' away from my family at my computer. I'm there, they come and find me and talk to me, but I can go several hours without talking to anyone. At night, at 7pm when the kids have gone to bed, and the Grumpy Old Man has taken Ari to bed - he usually dozes off with him - I sit in absolute silence, sometimes just staring out at the walls without seeing them and let my mind wander and pick up and explore the events of the day.

I love to talk and sometimes I do figure out what I'm thinking through talking it out, but mostly I prefer to be alone with my thoughts and nut them out in peace and quiet. Talking adds to the clutter in my head.

Now admittedly, having ADHD might have something to do with that need. Maybe without ADHD I might have been an extrovert. The fact is I'm not.

I'm an introvert - I rejuvenate my energy through time alone where I can process my experiences and reflect on them.

In the process of researching for this blog post, I discovered something I have never heard of before. The Ambivert. It seems on testing, the vast majority of people fall into the broad spectrum that is Ambiversion. These people do not fully identify with introversion or extroversion.

Image: source

Where do you fit into the spectrum?