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Showing posts from September, 2011

Mission Statement...

I've been a bit hit and miss on the blog in the last couple of weeks. There is a shift in the air. I'm restless. This is par for the course when you have ADHD, but there is more to it than that I think.

Dave is about to start a new job - just as soon as we get a call back from his future employer, that is, but we have been assured it is coming. That is going to mean more financial security for us. Probably not a huge change in financial security, but then again, we don't need a huge change - we've never needed much, just not to have to ask his mother for money every month...

It's been almost a year since I finished my Masters degree. I haven't done anything more with the manuscript that degree yielded. I still want to get it professionally read before submitting it anywhere else. It's not that I've lost interest in that manuscript, it's more that the struggles over the past few years have clogged up my brain spaced and made it harder than usual for …

Thankful Thursday: the things I can't talk about edition...

Linking up with Diary of a SAHM for this week's Thankful Thursday.

I'm feeling a bit blah today. It's school holidays - which I always find challenging because I like to think and thinking (for me, anyway) requires a certain level of quietude which is hard to come by in a small house with four restless boys. Also, in true Melbourne fashion, we've had some torrential rains this week (i know the weather gods are spiteful bastards but during the school holidays? Really?)...

Nevertheless, good stuff has been happening and I thought I should probably acknowledge them. Mind you, some of them I can't actually talk about because a) they're of a sensitive (read way too much information variety, nudge, nudge, wink, wink - or not made public yet) nature or b) I don't want to jinx the situation...

Needless to say, there have been some very positive changes in my life this week, changes that put the last 2, 3, and almost 4 years into the "Let's not dwell on it,…

10 Things Tuesday: 10 Epic Fails

I've been Epic Failing all over the place recently, I thought I tell everyone how - maybe after reading this you'll feel great about your own performace!

1. Blogging: I joined Seven Cherubs 'Cherish Your Cherubs Project', but then failed to write my children love notes for week six, so didn't post last week. I thought I'd post a double post this week (I did put some love notes in Lukas' suitcase for camp - he never mentioned getting them), but then I didn't post yesterday either. I also joined in 'Me and YOU Monday' at The Mother Experiment two weeks ago, thinking I would work on my relationship with my kids by sending them love notes (and thus doing two memes at once because I really liked both of them), but of course, I totally dropped the ball that week, so no update last week for 'Me and YOU Monday'... This week I will finally update today (having promised I would do this last night, you know, while it was still MONDAY, but dropping…

Tattoo Tuesday: My Son's Sun

Linking up with Tattoomummy for Tattoo Tuesday

What: A stylised sun

Where: On my left upper arm

Who: My brother

Why: This tattoo is for my second son. I had originally wanted a star, but couldn't find one I liked even after extensive searches for several months. This sun is closest to what I was looking for, and so, I've justified it in my mind as 'suns are stars, too...' I wanted a star for Lukas for several reasons...

When I was pregnant with Lukas I kept seeing (in my mind's eye) a child whose hair formed a bright halo around their head. I wanted a name for this child that reflect that brightness but nothing I came across seemed to fit. We eventually named him Lukas by process of elimination from a list of names that would work in Icelandic and that the Grumpy Old Man could live with - later I discovered that Lukas means 'Bringer of Light'. When he was born, his hair was the colour of spun gold - he is our only redhead. *cue Twilight Zone music*

Lukas was…

10 Things You'd Hate About Me...

I was tagged by Tattoomummy to post ten things you'd hate about me - hold onto your hats people, I'm not going to hold back and this might get hairy...


I don't trust people who love my writing. That's right, I have to fight the urge to think that a) you're just blowing hot air up my skirt so you look nice or b) you have no clue what good writing is and your opinion can't be trusted... (I do fight this urge, and try to believe those people, but my instinct is to think they're confounded idiots)I love cheese and jam sandwiches, and cheese and jam on toast. To me it's a bit like poor man's cheesecake. I just love salty and sweet things together!I yell at my kids - a lot. I think Roseanne Connor was a greatmother role-model because she loved her children passionately, both when she was proud of them and when they drove her up the wall. I have recently been catching up on the nine seasons of Roseanne and pissing myself laughing at how similarly we parent …

Things I Know From This Week...

Photoshop Elements does everything I need from Photoshop, and when Kellie from The Good, the Bad and The Unnecessary sent me her unused Mac version of Photoshop Elements 9, she made my day! What a generous spirit!Just when I'm beginning to think I've found a way to live with and keep my ADHD under control, I'm told I'd taken a key to open a storeroom at the school this morning so people could drop of clothes for school fair clothes stall and then I didn't show up at the pre-arranged time. I feel like such an idiot after the long phone conversation I had about this yesterday afternoon...The house is a lot quieter when even just one child is away on camp for a couple of days. Three children seems like nothing compared to four - I know I also felt this way about two children when I had three...Melbourne weather puts me on a rollercoaster ride of emotional highs and lows... I really wouldn't get bored if every day was sunny, 25 degrees and slightly breezy. No, I wo…

Write on Wednedays: a day late and little long...

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 15 - Give yourself some time to notice the people around you. The people who may cross your path each day. The lady in front of you at the supermarket, the man who helps the school kids cross the road, a neighbour, a waitress in a cafe, a librarian, anyone at all. Choose one person, someone you don't know, and this person will become the basis of the week's writing exercise. Describe this person as you see them, describe their surroundings. Then imagine a problem, create conflict for this person. Describe the conflict. Describe how your character deals with the problem. The conflict might resolve itself, it might not. It is up to you. Perhaps, the lady in the supermarket has forgotten her wallet. Does she bursts into tears? Maybe the librarian finds a lost child. The aim is to show how your character responds to conflict and in the process, reveal something about that character. Tell us their story.

Let's aim for around 200 words, keeping with t…

Wordless Wednesday: Future Professor!

10 Things Tuesday: 10 More Confessions...

Well, I enjoyed letting it all hang out last week so much I've decided to do it again - you can thank all those people who encouraged me last week...


I wrote this list about three hours ago, and then my computer decided to have a Tuesday morning hissy fit and freeze up, forcing me to 'force quit' and reboot which, of course, deleted the post... I can't actually remember the 10 points I wrote three hours ago, but I promise you they were hilarious! No really, they were...Being truthful with children is paramount. Call a vagina a vagina for crying out loud! On Sunday Bryn lost his first tooth and yesterday the tooth fairy left him $1 for it. Now, Bryn was completely happy with $1 but I was not. The tooth fairy always leave $5 for the first tooth, $5, not $1. $1 is for subsequent teeth, except molars, it's always $2 for molars, and quite frankly I don't want to hear about economic downturns because the Aussie dollar is doing alright, still. As well as this, Bryn los…

Wondering what the hell happened to my blog..?

Yeah, me too!

I've lost my blojo. It's easy to figure out why, of course. I've been blogging fairly solidly for the past couple of months. It's not that I don't have anything I could blog about - just this morning I've dropped the ball on the Cherish Your Cherubs Project over at Seven Cherubs (I'm thinking if doubling up next week because I actually didn't do my homework this week - bad, bad, blogger!)... In fact, there is always something to blog about.

It's just that I've lost a bit of the get-up-and-blog that I've been experiencing of late. I'm having a bit of a blogistential crisis, you might say.

My stats for the past two days make pathetic look like a healthy specimen, but you know what, I'm still here! Apparently, a barely existent blogpulse doesn't actually make me disappear as I was beginning to suspect it might.

Last night I was low. I was very, very low. I was all 'why is this happening to me' and 'why can&…

Mirrored Conversation...

Hello you.

Hello.

How are you doing today?

Well, you know, you feel the dragging in our heart, don't you?

Yes, yes I do. I thought it would pass by now.

Yep, so did I - maybe this is for real?

Yeah, you shouldn't have acknowledged it. Acknowledging stuff just makes it all the more real.

I kind of thought I would call its bluff. Sometimes pre-empting something evokes Murphy's Law.

Yessss, well that didn't quite work out as planned, did it?

No, but you chiding me isn't going to help, so shut up, okay?

Fine.

Fine.

Okay, but what are we going to do?

Do? I don't want to do anything. Can't we just wait. Maybe if the Grumpy Old Man gets a proper job offer next week, maybe we'll feel better?

And if he doesn't?

I don't want to think about that. I can't think about that. Last week didn't work out as I'd hoped it would and it was a kick in the guts.

Next time...

Yeah, next time. Always next time, and then maybe next time, too...

You can't think like…

Things I know: About persistence...

Today I'm not posting about what I was hoping to be posting about and I can't think about it too deeply because I'll just implode. So, I'm going to post about what I know about persistence.


Children have persistence in spades and we can learn a lot from them. When they want something, they won't let anything stand in their way. They'll ask, they'll ask sweetly, they'll say "Pretty please with a cherry on top and a side serve of ice-cream", they will cry, they will pout, they will scream blue bloody murder - more times than not, they eventually get what they want through sheer persistence... Being persistent isn't a cake walk, it isn't fun, it isn't easy, and it isn't particularly inspiring in and of itself. It is what it is. It's not being willing to give up.Being persistent can take a very, very, very long time. It can take all your energy, it can suck you dry. Persistence doesn't have a time limit.Persistence is free …

Thankful Thursday: Homework and being able to relate...

Oddly enough, I find myself being thankful for homework this week.

I have forever been critical of homework. I feel it puts undue pressure on children to keep doing school work even after spending six and a half hours a day, five days a week at school - doing school work. It also puts pressure on already harried parents to supervise, enforce and - for many parents - all but do the homework themselves. A lot of homework these days includes activities and procedures parents are not familiar with, as well.

When my boys started school, I had the attitude that homework was just rubbish and they didn't need to do. I was constantly hearing from their teachers about the boys lack of completing 'reading charts', and it annoyed me because my husband and I read to the boys all the time - we just didn't read readers. We talked to them about letters and sounds and reading all the time, we just didn't fill in the forms. I felt that I could fill in the form even without the boys …

Write on Wednesdays, exercise 14: The Might, might rewrite...

Write on Wednesday Exercise 14 - The Mighty Mighty Rewrite...
Zanni: I did a workshop with literary author Mj Hyland, who teachers Masters in Creative Writing at Manchester University. She asked us to choose our favourite book, take the first paragraph and then write our own content into the paragraph, keeping the structure, tone, language etc. It's really helpful!
No time limit. Let's keep up the focus on making each word count. Ready? Set? Write!
The reason I'm posting this on Thursday is that I only read the exercise on Tuesday night, and it completely stumped me. I couldn't think of my favourite book. I have a tendency to read books but then not keep them - so while I remember many, many hours of being completely taken away with a book, I can't remember titles or authors and I don't keep many books.

I've bent the rule and gone with the first paragraph of a short story I read earlier this year which has haunted me. I couldn't tell you the name of the…

Wordless Wednesday: Storyboards from yesterday...

Tattoo Tuesday: Bryn's Tattoo...

Linking up with Tattoomummy for Tattoo Tuesday!


What: An Om symbol inside a stylised heart.

Where: On my left breast.

Who: All my tattoos are done by my brother in my home.

Why: I have a tattoo for each of the boys, and this one is for Bryn (#3 of 4). I chose an Om, not because I'm buddhist, but because from babyhood we've called Bryn "Buddha" due to his placid personality and how when he was a baby he was very, very chubby! The heart is because, of all my children, Bryn is my heart (the others are other parts of me, don't worry!). He is also be in the sign of Leo, and so Lion-hearted always springs to mind. Leo's are ruled by the sun, also representing love.

As you can see, this tattoo is badly faded and a bit wonky. This is not a reflection of my brother's workmanship in any way but more a reflection of the place the tattoo is situated. The skin on my breasts is (not surprisingly) quite different to other - tougher - parts of my body like my arms, shoul…

10 Things Tuesday: 10 Confessions...

Bless me readers for I have sinned, it has been... a bloody long time since my last confession...
My boys are sitting in the lounge room playing Angry Birds on their iPod Touches and talking and helping each other out and not arguing and not chasing about the house and I love it. I also loved it when they disappeared into their rooms for two hours yesterday afternoon and there was no squabbling over toys, seats on the lounge, television channels, or who's turn it was to set the table. I get why other parents love their kids devices.When I found out yesterday afternoon that my twelve year old had not had his iPod for "just that morning" a few weeks ago, but had, in fact, had it for four consecutive days and had taken it to school. When I found this out because I downloaded a video of him and his friends at school. I laughed - out loud. And a tiny piece of me enjoyed that he'd tripped himself up with video evidence...I have a great capacity for ignoring a filthy kitchen…

Let not the Praise be faint...

I'm joining in with Seven Cherubs for the fourth week of Cherish Your Cherubs. This week's theme is praising your cherubs, for previous week check out these link; one, two, three.

This week we were asked to be mindful of letting our children know how much we appreciate them through praise. I have to admit, I didn't do very well, certainly not as well as I would like. I could spend time lamenting about being stressed and depressed, but really those are just excuses.

In this post I want to focus on an area in which each boy has really excellent himself - positively - this week.

Bryn:

Bryn started school this year and that brought a lot more personal responsibility into his life. At school he answers to different authorities than at home and he has to be mindful of a different set of rules. He has taken all of this in his stride.

However, he has really struggled with one area. No matter how much we remind him, and question him at the end of the day. No matter the consequences …

What has changed... 9/11/2001 - 9/11/2011

I lay in bed and fed Lukas, he was 11 weeks and 1 day old. The past few weeks had been like hell on earth for me. 
Just a month earlier the Grumpy Old Man had come home from work one afternoon to find Erik strapped into a highchair sobbing quietly, Lukas laying in his bassinet screaming loudly, and me hiding in the foetal position at the far end of the couch - out of a line of sight to either of my distraught children.
The Grumpy Old Man had let Erik out of the highchair and given him something to eat, and hugged him. He'd picked Lukas up out of the bassinet and put him in the Babybjorn where Lukas had promptly crashed into an exhausted sleep.  The the Grumpy Old Man made me go have a shower and a cup of tea. 
We'd talked and with a lot of crying on my part and a lot of quiet persistence on his part we'd decided to talk to a friend and work colleague of his who had been hospitalised for postpartum psychosis nearly three years earlier. She put us onto PANDA who sent us to our …

Grateful for those things that challenge me.

Well, after yesterday's watershed, I thought I'd better take some time today to reflect on those things that challenge me and find ways to be grateful for them.

Challenges are, essentially, opportunities for gratitude. It's easy to be grateful for all the good that crosses my path in life, and acknowledging those good things is very good. The more positives you acknowledge in your life, the more positively you are bound to view your life.
There are always challenges though and the trick is to try and view those challenges in a positive light, as well, so they don't continuously draw your eye from the other positive stuff in your life and cause you to only notice the things that make life a trial.

Having a melancholy temperament as I do, it doesn't come naturally to me to view challenges as positive - it is something I need to work at and remind myself of over time. So, here goes:

Being legally blind, living with ADHD, hypoglycaemia, anxiety, depression and agoraphobi…