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Write on Wednesdays, exercise 13: A great one liner...

Welcome to all my Write on Wednesday friends! As you many notice, I'm posting this week's post in a new location. I have decided to merge my two blogs. I hope this isn't too distracting! If you were following me on The Untamed Goddness, please feel free to follow me here - I would love to see your faces!

To my other readers - on Wednesday I usually participate in Write on Wednesdays over at Ink Paper Pen (click on the button to get there). You might like to have a go to, it's LOTS of fun exercising that creative writing muscle!



Write On Wednesdays



Write On Wednesdays Exercise 13 - A Great One Liner...This week you need to come up with one good line to describe a part of your day. It can be 'real life' or fiction. But it must tell us 'who did what'. It has to be an amazing line, like a tiny little paper plane that must travel a big distance (figuratively speaking) with only a few folds ... Every word in that line must earn its place, or be cut as excess baggage. Let's get thinking about each sentence as though every word counts, like working one group of muscles to show how much weight they can carry.*If you would like to focus on making every word count, check out Flash Fiction Friday - another weekly writing prompt and Community Writing Project. Thanks Adam for the suggestion.
Write your sentence, link it up to the linky below and visit other's Write on Wednesday participants. Let us know if you would like to receive constuctive criticism on your piece. The linky will be open from Monday to late Friday. It doesn't matter if you can't Write on Wednesday...Any day is fine...



Breathing Space.


"And with thanks to gods of single serve snack packs and wrinkle resistant uniforms, she swung the pram out the school gate and finally exhaled at 9:01am."

Comments

Melissa said…
Great one liner. :) I'm sure most of us Mums feel the same.
Melinda Chapman said…
Funny and poignant! After the first clause, the suspense was killing me. If you wrote it on a post-it note, I would definitely say 'I started reading and couldn't put it down'. :)
Brilliant Sif! Now I hope you're doing something fun and relaxing.
Great Job Sif :) well done. Agree with above comment... now I hope you are doing something relaxing ! xx
nicolewian said…
Great sentence! Jam packed with a sharpness that really makes an impact!
I can so relate to this! So much feeling in just one line. Still stuck on my one liner, this exercise would have to be the hardest so far.
Sandra said…
Great job. You've said all in just one sentence. :)
Eloise said…
oh I've been there! although more often than not it ends up being 9:05am :) Great work Sif!
Nonni said…
"only affording food every other day helps quitting cigarettes but undermines rush-hour diplomacy"
asampler said…
Great sentence. That sense of relief when you finally are free - except for the one in the pram!
Anne said…
Sif

Ah, yes! That moment. It is nearly religious-like, isn't it? I long for it every Monday morning and fortunately I don't have a pram to push back home. LOL

Anne xx
Sarah Mac said…
Ha ha, brilliant Sif (although first thing in the morning I struggled a little with the small font:) x
Sif said…
Thanks so much for the supportive comments guys!

Laney and Tahlia - I came home and wrote the line, writing is kind of relaxing... Mostly... Don't get me started on editing, though!

Nonni - seriously, dude, get a blog and start writing, you'd be brilliant, it's in the blood, Cuz!

Anne - Luckily the walk home is all downhill (unlike that walk to the school a few weeks ago... Hmm, I write about that walk quite a bit, don't I?

Sarah - sorry about the small font, doesn't look small on my screen maybe my settings are screwy?
I used to think I wanted to write when I was younger but it's not really that easy.

This was an interesting exercise. It reminded me of something I read about Ernest Hemingway a long time back about when he was challenged to tell a story in only six words. He replied with, "For sale: baby shoes, never used."

Your sentence was longer than that, but it still speaks volumes and is relatable.
Andy said…
I am not a mother but I could still relate with it when I babysit a cousin during the weekend..haha!it was such a day..

and you have a nice header by the way..=)

Smiles,


Andy
Ash said…
That's a brilliant one-liner! Haven't got to the school stage, but know what you mean when I drive out of the kindy car park!
Jayne said…
Oh yes that feeling of relief is almost palpable.
Sif said…
Veronica - just do it! (in an Arnie voice, LOL)

Andy - thanks! I designed it myself, I want to do a redesign soon, but am having trouble now that I don't have photoshop anymore (have to work that into my budget!)

Ash - yep, kindy is the same! Rush, rush, rush, and finally you get to breathe when the drop off is done!

Jayne - I know you know what that feeling is like!
I am not a mom, but I could feel the relief in your sentence clear as day! Great sentence!
Sif said…
They say, write what you know... LOL, I know before school rush - and now you've given me an idea for a new blog post, so thanks for that!
Daniel Meyer said…
I could sense some humor and relief in this line. Very well written! I tried to follow you on here. Do I have to make an account here as well to do so? Let me know!
Sif said…
Daniel - there are several ways you can follow this blog if you don't have a google account (gmail, blogger, etc), then you can follow via RSS (over in the right column there) or via email (also in the right column), or networkblogs on Facebook, or you can follow my Facebook page by liking it (I post links to all my blog posts on there). I hope one of these options work for you and thank you so much for wanting to follow! I really appreciate it!
Janelle said…
Hahaha, fantastic Sif! Indeed, thank goodness for those small comforts such as single serve snack packs :)
Sannah said…
Fantastic! What a great line. I feel like that most mornings. I sometimes wish that school started earlier, because I tend to feel like that no matter how organised, or how much time we have in the mornings. Sometimes I think I would prefer to toss them straight out the door at 7am, and then get them home earlier in the afternoon so that we could do some fun things.
Great to find your new blog, Looks great!
Jayne said…
Ah, the early morning before school battles. Aren't they fun?

Your one liner is fab, Sif - I breathed a sigh of relief right along with you x
Naomi said…
Oh yes, the morning school run... I breathed a sigh of relief too when I got to the end of it.
Sif said…
More lovely comments, thanks everyone!
Laura Maria said…
I am totally willing to wait my turn for this frustration -.- You did a great job in conveying it!
I am passing on the love of the Versatile Blogger Award to you! The details are on my blog :)
therhythmmethod said…
Very witty and relatable. Great job Sif. :)
InkPaperPen said…
This is parenting Gold! Brilliant response to this week's exercise, Sif. Really loved it

Gill x

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