Tuesday, November 22, 2011

10 Things Tuesday: 10 Things That Are Really Pissing Me Off Right Now!

I didn't do a 10 Things link-up last week, anyone miss me? I could so easily fall into the trap of just letting it slide, this is my way... I start all enthusiastic and then I peter out. Might be an ADHD thing, might just be a Sif thing - or maybe those things are the same thing. The depths of my soul are all black and gungey like those horrid tar filled lungs on anti-smoking ad campaigns. Every time I open my mouth I cough up a huge sticky black piece of self-pity laidened crap. I have my moments of joy, they're just struggling to be noticed at the moment, poor wee things. So, in the absence of any kind of wonderful inspiration, I present to you a list of 10 things that are really pissing me off right now. Enjoy!

#1 ~ Judging a person on knowing one thing about them. Not all people who are in possession of Minecraft suffer an absence of 'a life' (even sadder that this judgement came out of the mouth of a nine year old - judgement starts so early these days). The same goes for blogging, keeping a clean house, being a parent, and so much more! No interest or passtime is incompatible with 'having a life'. Even people who spend a lot of energy assessing other people's possession of 'a life' probably also have 'a life' - probably.

#2 ~ If someone mentions that they have a problem, but they don't proceed to ask you how they might solve their problem, chances are you aren't doing them any favours by trying to solve their problem for them no matter how well meant your advice is. Chances are - if it is a long standing problem, there isn't a solution they haven't considered or attempted themselves already. Chances are, if they reject all you suggestions it is not because they don't want to solve their problem but because they've already considered your suggestions, weighed them up carefully and found they wouldn't improve their unique situation. Chances are they just wanted someone to listen and sympathise. Don't offer unsolicited advice, it puts all sorts of pressure on the person you think you're helping.

#3 ~ People who claim to have the greater interest of everyone at heart, when actually patronising those around them and blatantly protecting their own interests while pretending their shit smells like roses. The Emperor has no clothes!

#4 ~ Kids will be kids and forwarding all email correspondence in my children's email accounts to my inbox will mean occassionally reading stuff which rubs me the wrong way but 'Dear smart-arse friend of my child, the correct response to being sent an email Christmas card is not sarcasm, it is 'Thank You!' I know your mum would agree.'

#5 ~ While it is easier to be surrounded by people for whom life is all sunshine and lollipops, this is not realistic. Sometimes people's lives suck and everything inside their head is ugly and twitching with dark loathsomeness. Sometimes people live with this darkness on a daily basis and battling to keep the clouds from crashing above their heads takes every ounce of their energy and there isn't anything left for looking for silver linings or finding joy in small blessings. Sometimes just not falling apart is the blessing. Don't blame these people for the suck-factor of their lives, they don't need you pious self-congratulation. These people can't just 'get over it'. These people aren't likely to feel a lot better overnight. What often helps though is when other people get that. When the 'Perpetual Sad Sack' is allowed to get things out of their head and off their chest - which often helps the darkness disappate as well. No, it's not comfortable watching and listening to someone suffer - suffering of the mind is hardest because it is so intangible - but attempting to stifle such a person is cruel and heartless and only prolongs suffering. The suffering is not pretty, but it is real.

#6 ~ People with no experience who are experts.

#7 ~ Being psychic, but only seeing how things can get much worse without action, and being powerless to act.

#8 ~ Turning forty without a party - it's not going to happen, it can't be justified and I just want to throw a huge tanty about it... Man, it's so happening when I turn fifty!

#9 ~ My own inability to make myself write for NaNoWriMo. I've been so distracted and overwhelmed by the relentlessness of life that I find myself constantly bargaining, 'When we've finished with the school fair/getting the grass cut as per the infringement notice/sorting an automatic car for the GOM to pass his test in/dealing with the anti-discrimination commission, then I'll be able to focus on writing.' Gah, it's just not happening - though I have been working on plot elements and structure at least. I'm conceding defeat on the word count, though. There is always next year. Though it galls me.

#10 ~ The lack of chocolate and sweet wine in this house*.

Linking up with Diary of a SAHM for I Blog on Tuesday.

* This blogger is not too proud to accept donations of chocolate and sweet wine... Anyone?


Sarah said...

Wine and chocolate would most certainly help dull the edges of ALL the above but also having a good pissed off rant helps.

I hope it helped you (mine is brewing;)

Rhianna said...

I totally missed you last week, I had even got halfway through my post and then saw you weren't here so through it in (it was crap anyway so I probably did the world a favour)

Tat @ Mum in search said...

I can totally relate to #3... Like my neighbours who called the police because my daughter was crying (and they wanted to sleep) and then when I ran into them, they told me they were doing it for us 'You are young, and you might be missing something, it's not normal for a baby to cry!'

Jayne said...

Great list! I agree with all of it, especially 1,3,5 & 6. On 9-I hear ya but substitute NaNoWriMo for 'THE UNI SUBJECT IN WHICH i'M CURRENTLY ENROLLED)(gah caps lock!). It sucks when life gets in the way :( AND (not caps lock!) on 8-we are SO going out that night! x

Tat-that's awful! I don'avestet understand why it's so hard for some people to offer support first, before c calling the authorities? Oh wait, I do-that would involve effort :/

Anonymous said...

Have you seen this? It could really suit you - might be worth checking out, the BCA are a great organisation.

Careers with Blind Citizens Australia
Administration Assistant

Permanent full time position (35 hours per week)

Blind Citizens Australia (BCA) is the national peak consumer representative organisation of, and for, people who are blind or vision impaired in Australia. We are a small, friendly and passionate team committed to equity and equality for people who are blind or vision impaired.

BCA is seeking a full time Administration Officer to join our very busy office. Our team of eight (5.8 equivalent full time) includes policy and advocacy workers and two administration staff. Our head office is located in the CBD of Melbourne


Sif Dal said...

Thanks guys :)

Rhianna, oh noes! Sorry about that!

Tat, Gah! That is exactly the kind of smug, 'I know better than everyone else.' kind of attitude I was talking about. I've seen it fair bit lately ;(.

Anonymous, had a look at the selection criteria for the job.


• Commitment to the mission of Blind Citizens Australia
• Highly developed experience in providing administrative support.
• Highly developed skills in using Microsoft Word, Outlook, and Excel
• Well developed written and verbal communication and interpersonal skills.
• Demonstrated ability to maintain relationships within all levels of an organisation.
• Proven sound time management with the ability to work well under pressure, use initiative and be well organised
• A demonstrated commitment to customer service

• Experience preparing documents for transcription into large print, text to audio, Braille and accessible electronic formats.
• Web content management experience
• Experience utilising social networking media

The only work I've done in administration is working as an assistant receptionist for three months, and that was 17 years ago. I don't know my way around Excel, I haven't proven the ability to work at all levels of an organisation. I haven't demonstrated a commitment to customer service. Of the latter three - while I am a wiz at social media (I think), I have no experience with converting documents to braille format, or other formats, and I have no experience with web content management.

The devil is always in the detail. They'd laugh me out of the interview.

Sif Dal said...

Actually, I wouldn't even get an interview. Anonymous, it's great that you are trying to help me, but really all it does is confirm for me point #2 that all the well intentioned advice in the world is more like to leave the person with the problem feeling more misunderstood than ever.

People keep trying to suggest work I could do. They are not listening to what I've told them about my experience. There is are several reasons I haven't ever had a steady work history. Firstly, I either lack skill or experience in a field, or if I have skill or experience in a field, employers don't want to employ a blind person. This job falls into the former category.

I can write, but these days people need web design or web content management skills. I have neither.

I can work in childcare, but no one wants a child care worker who is legally blind (it was seriously dumb of me to think they would, I'm embarrassed I even pursued that course of employment now).

I could teach, but again, even though I am highly qualified (most recently in Creative Writing - my communications and education degrees have become redundant), I don't have any teaching qualifications.

I have virtually no work experience in any field.

Basically, I'm useless. I applied for a writing job several weeks ago that is with an organisation for the vision impaired. I can absolutely do the job. They accepted my application and said they'd contact me soon. Nothing.

My confidence levels are rock bottom because I've been knocked back so many times from things I believed I was perfectly qualified for, but like I've tried to explain over and over again, when you have a disability being qualified isn't enough.

Only 15% of vision impaired people are employed. Many more are clambering for every job available to them (often in the disability sector). Amongst that group, I am not the best qualified and I don't have a lot of experience at anything. It's not like these jobs are just sitting there waiting for me to apply for them. I'm competing with every other overqualified vision impaired person looking for work in an equal opportunity setting and compared to many of them I'm no competition at all.

Anonymous said...

Sorry if I offended you. I can't agree that you are useless. Don't undervalue your abilities. You write so well and must have excellent people/organisational/time management skills to be able to run a house with 4 kids and do degrees etc. I'm sorry if these skills don't count in the job market because they are all very important in the workplace. Hope things look up for you really soon.

Sif Dal said...

I am way oversensitive about this. I've had more application rejections that I care to recall. I've been treated fairly bloody harshly by some potential employers - as if I have no right to apply for jobs in the first place and I'm just wasting their time. I've had employers employ me, take Government money for employing me and then refuse to actually pay ME for the work I've done until I've chased it up with the ATO.

There are so many women out there who are highly skilled but have been out of the workforce because they were the stay at home parent for many years and because their work experience is now several years old, employers won't look at them. Add to that a disability and you see where I am.

I guess I just feel that while everyone is trying to be helpful with suggestions, the implication is that I'm just not trying hard enough to help my family. That I'm putting all this unnecessary pressure on the GOM to get a job (and even he can't seem to do that and he HAS lots of experience and the right qualifications). That I'm somehow lazy.

I really am not. I'm discouraged, for sure. I'm am not lazy. I am not expecting him to do it all. I am not sitting on my hands doing nothing. I did a 6 months course last year to try and get employment but in the end it was made very clear to me - by someone in the industry that no one would readily take me on because I was too much of a risk because of my vision impairment.

Sorry you were on the receiving end of my mounting frustration.

Grace said...

I turned 40 without having a party too. I really did want one. Then things got in the way...like you know, life and the fact that big parties and drinking then nursing a hangover whilst caring for twinlet toddlers wasn't going to be my cup of tea.
Not sure what I'll do for my 50th, though :)

Jay said...

Number 6! That makes me bristle every single time.

Seriously, Tat, how appalling!

Anonymous said...

That's terrible - no wonder you are discouraged having gone through all of that. I've worked with quite a few return-to-work mums and they are great employees. Being a good mum takes so many skills (time management, organisation, negotiation, inter-personal skills etc) it really sucks if employers can't see that. And I don't understand how anyone can think you are lazy - you're bringing up 4 kids, that's the hardest job in the world!

EssentiallyJess said...

I'm hearing you! Particularly on no wine or chocolate. Also no ice cream here. It's very frustrating!

Sif Dal said...

Thanks guys... Just on the point about the sarcastic child. Just read an email from said child to my child offering my child comfort over a difficult social situation, so now I'm feeling far less pissy at ex-sarcastic child.

Anon. I have to believe that with an aging workforce this covert discrimination against older workers, returned parent workers and workers with disabilities HAS to change! I haven't given up on supporting my family, I just think the right opportunity will present itself when the time is right.

Michelle said...

Oh number 6 hands down, you have no idea how much that is irritating me & has me on the edge right now!

Crash Test Mummy said...

Please DM me your address. I'm sending you something ;)

Good Job!