Saturday, November 26, 2011

Five Sentence Fiction: Sacrifice


What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.

This week’s inspiration word is: SACRIFICE

Sacrifice

1. Peter watched the old man tottering along the road in the deluge; he seemed scanning for a sheltered spot to wait out the down pour.

2. The shaking of wisened hands as they reached for the balistrade of the impossibly steep Colonial building steps brought to mind his mother last summer.

3. The shaking hands hadn't warned him she was prone to mis-stepping and would fall and break her femur.

4. Ninety-three years was a long life, too long to pass out of through a gateway of pain.

5. As he passed the old man, Peter handed over his umbrella, 'Here, you need this more than I do.' he said, smiling.

3 comments:

Lillie McFerrin said...

I like the parallel you made between the old man and the speaker's mother; it really worked.

spring days, new growth said...

Random acts of kindness make the world a better place. You've woven he sadness of his loss into his gesture to make a well. structured story. Good one!
Kate

claire said...

That was a beautiful little piece. I also loved that you flashed back to the reader's mother, and the sacrifice right at the end was perfect. Your protagonist sounds like a really nice guy.

Teenagers and the failing parent...