Skip to main content

Wanted: A truckload of writing mojo...

They say happy people don't make great artists. Some of the greatest painters, writers and actors of all time suffered from great anxiety and depression and this underpinned their best creative efforts...

Oh woe is me!

I should be writing something spectacular right about now if this was true for me.

Instead I seem to have drawn a blank.

I received a tweet the other day asking if I was still participating in 'Carpe Verba'. I said I was, I'm just have some difficulties at the moment. This is true. My mind is a wasteland for creativity.

I was thinking I might pick up one of my notebooks and have a go at handwriting again. Maybe a bit of actual hand writing might stimulate those parts of the brain that seemed to going something like this...

Okay, let's get an idea moving. Just something little - a flash fiction... About something I know, maybe... A woman blogging, a curious comment, a follow-up by email, a mystery, investigation, a hostage situation...


I have this idea in my head for a story. It's not actually a flash fiction, or even a short story. It is something longer. But I can't grasp it. I reach out and the threads break when my fingertips brush them.

My characters can't talk, their throats are dry and they choke on their words. They're unsure of their footing when they walk and they hesitate and stumble if I try to push them along.

They look pale and thin, too, like they need a good feed. They're not supposed to be pale and thin - I can't jot those characteristics down as part of their description - it's more that my mind isn't feeding them enough to round them out.

So I abandon that story line and try for something else, but everything else is just grasping at straws.

There is always Svava's story. It's all wrong now though. It doesn't match up with Lily's story at all - which is a problem because the characters are very much connected and very entrenched. I have considered relocating the story to separate it from Lily's story altogether, but the characters like where they are right now and are fighting me on this. I don't have the strength or will to go into battle with them. It's their story, what right do I have to change it on them?

Lily is pestering me too, 'You promised you'd get my story professionally edit - a year ago.' She's kind of pissed, poor sweet girl. She's been through enough. She's been trying to be heard for 16 years now. I don't have the heart to tell her that I think, maybe, I've failed her and that no amount of editing is going to impress an agent enough, let alone a publisher.

Meanwhile, my Minecraft queendom is looking kind of fabulous, if I say so myself. Erik and I have been working on it together a lot lately. He's had quite a few late nights fighting zombies and skeletons for me so I can get their mob drops (I like to play on peaceful, I'm not fan of the adrenalin rush that happens when some creature tries to kill my character - who happens to be the 11th Doctor at the moment).


My blanket is really coming along, as well...


Just got to finish that last row and do the edging.

Maybe my writing mojo will resurface when the kids go to school... If you see it though, tell it to get its butt home to me - I miss it. I'd offer a reward if I had anything of value to offer.

Comments

Rhianna said…
I love the way your blanket is coming together? Hope the writing mojo returns sooner rather than later
bek said…
I think you outlined a pretty good story of a struggling writer having issues with working with their characters ;)

Popular posts from this blog

12 Things Happy People Do Differently - a self-reflection...

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the above poster on her wall. I believe she got these points from this blog which she enjoys reading, and the bloggers on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog derived their discussion of these points from this book, available on Amazon - you're welcome! I have to admit, I haven't read the blog or the book I've just mentioned but wanted my readers to have access to the sources of the poster for their own reflective purposes.
The New Year will be upon us in but a few days and I thought this a great opportunity to do a little personal assessment on how I'm playing the happy game. I'm often not very happy at all - I don't need to be happy all the time, let me just say that up front - I personally believe that life is a balancing act and those who seek euphoria often will also often feel desolation because in all things there must be balance. The great riches of the few on this planet come at the personal cost of the many as is …

The symbolism of elephants...

Just recently I've been seeing and noticing elephants everywhere!

A few weeks ago I saw the Samsung Elephant Ad, and watching that led me to watching a video with an elephant painting (seriously, you have to watch it to believe it!).

Then last night the boys told me they were having a free dress day at school to raise money for 'Mali the Elephant' - who turned out to be a paper maché statue which the children will paint and then show around the council before it comes back to the school to stand outside the performing arts room.

Then this morning I followed a link from Twitter to Toushka Lee's blog and read this post about an elephant orphanage in Sri Lanka.

This morning the Grumpy Old Man did another driving test and unfortunately didn't pass. We've booked his next test and are looking forward to that now. About ten minutes before he walked in the door I saw this poster on Facebook...


At the time, I didn't know if the Grumpy Old Man had been successful or …

Alone... And Stuff...

Do you ever just need to be alone?



As the boys are growing up, we have more times when the house is quiet. The youngest will be asleep. One will be reading, one will be playing on his computer with headphones on, one will be painting and there is stillness.

Sometimes, even that is not enough.

Sometimes I crave being alone, with no possibility of someone suddenly realising they have to tell me something important or ask me a question or even just crash about in the kitchen.

Sometimes I crave S P A C E, lots and lots of space, being able to walk from room to room without encountering another soul.

This is how I felt when I woke up this morning, so instead of getting ready for work, I decided to stay home. Get up, but not go anywhere, no hear the sound of my own voice, or anyone else's.

I think this might just be part of getting older. After a lifetime of chasing after other people and trying not to be alone, my mind and body is full of thoughts, experiences, feelings, and busy-ness …