Sunday, April 22, 2012

Doin' the funky Sif...

How do you think it happens that a person can be trundling along okay, doing what needs to be done in life and generally keeping a can-do attitude and then they don't? How is it a person can even feel inspired, then suddenly wake up one morning and just feel that they can't bear their life for another second?

This is me today.

Yesterday I was okay. Last night I went to bed with plans. I love having plans; having goals to aim for and work towards. Plans energise me.

This morning I hate the world. I just want to run away and hide.

I cannot figure out why I feel this way. Nothing has changed and yet that is core to how I feel. Nothing has changed. I feel stuck in this life with no visible exits to something different, something better.

The kids are driving me mad!

Ari has been cooped up for five days straight, so he's all cabin-fevery. I'm not sure what is going on with the other three. Maybe this is fallout from the first week back at school? Maybe the reality of not having all their technologies is setting in? I don't know, but they're being royal pains in the rear end and I don't want to deal with them at all.

How the kids are is actually separate to how I feel though. I felt this way before having to get out of bed and deal with the kids. They just add to this feeling of being stuck on a merry-go-round (which isn't particularly merry, by the the way).

Whatever is causing this feeling, I'm hoping it will pass soon because there are no signs that my life is changing for the better any time soon. The only thing to do is trundle on; get through each day meeting the needs of that day, go to bed, get up, rinse and repeat.

I think this used to be called being in a funk...

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Good Job!