Saturday, May 19, 2012

As it turns out... I'm allergic to money!

Yes, you read that right.

For the past three or so years the Grumpy Old Man and I have been wondering what the hell is going on that we're having so much trouble getting to a financially secure place in our lives.

My mum thinks we're cursed.

This morning I figured out a different reason, though.

When I got up I discovered this red and itchy rash on my left boob...

This is only part of it, because I know you don't really want to see my whole boob, it's well beyond its best these days.

After exclaiming, 'Dear Lord, I've been bitten by flesh eating spiders!', I calmed down and tried to figure out the real cause. The Grumpy Old Man helpfully suggested I'd laid on my silver bracelets and that had caused the rash... Yes, hmmm, they're sterling silver because that doesn't give me a rash!

But then the penny dropped, so to speak, it was actually a $2 coin and two 20c pieces. I'd popped them in my bra the other day - as you do - and obviously my body reacted to them. Metal reactions start slowly for me, and flair up after a day or so, even after the irritant has been removed, I mustn't have noticed the first signs of the rash.

Some of you might be wondering why I'd be carrying coinage in my brassiere. Yes, well, that's what us well endowed girls do when we wear clothing without pockets. I wear clothing without pockets a lot.

My bra is constantly stuffed with public transport passes and tickets, my bank card, receipts, crystals, lego (I have stopped carrying my phone in there since a friend put the fear of God into me about breast cancer). Last night I had a spool of thread tucked in there while I mended the handy 'thumbhole' Bryn had created for himself at the end of his school uniform sleeve.

I've lost things in there, like my keys - these keys...

I'd popped them in my bra to go taking the kids to school one morning - I prefer to be hands free when I have a toddler to wrangle in a busy school yard and while herding the cats kids to the school gate. The Grumpy Old Man hadn't left by the time I got home, so he let me in. I spent hours that afternoon looking for my keys, absolutely convinced Ari had flushed them, only to undress that night and have them fall on the bedroom floor...

I know some of you will understand.

So, I occasionally tuck money into my bra, and it seems my body is sick of this and has decided to reject the money as best it can by conjuring up a big, angry, itching rash. Gee, thanks body, needed that.

No wonder we're not attracting financial fortune into our lives - I'm allergic to the stuff!

*mumble, mumble, scratch, scratch, mumble*

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Good Job!