FFS Friday - You've got to be kidding me!

# The one where your husband has been trying to get a job for three and a bit years and twice already been offered a job only to have the offer rescinded. You're feeling pretty black about the whole situation, but then a perfect job comes along (pretty much the job he was doing before he was made redundant) and it's an 18 month contract and it's more money than you've ever had to work with in your entire 15 years together... And then because of State Government Budget cut backs, you're told - after he applies - that they're only going to offer a six month contract, after all - but you don't care, six months is six months! And then you wait 10 days before being offered the interview you know he deserves. And then you get an email saying the position will no longer exist and so there won't be an interview. And then he gets a call saying the job will exist, but has been cut back to part time for six months, and the job description has changed and now it may involve a bunch of stuff he hasn't done before... Or not... Bloody State Government Budget! My husband needs a job! FFS!


# The one where you haven't had any sleep all night, and in your sleep deprived cleverness, you decide to pay your utilities by BPAY because you notice your pension has come into your account; only you pay your gas bill twice, and one of those times is into the account for the house you lived in two years ago! FFS!

# So, you ring the bank - yes, at 5.30am because it's an emergency, you need that money to, you know, live off and they helpfully tell you that they can put a recall on the payment and the money should be safely back in your account in 10 working days - that's two weeks in ordinarily unemployed terms. FFS!

# The one where you have to do the grocery shopping because your cupboards are bare, and there is an oncoming storm warning. FFS!

# And you don't have a car or a licence. FFS!

# And after you've bought two weeks worth of food, you trundle your trolley towards the cab rank to find a fire engine blocking the road because the restaurant across the narrow road is on fire, so you are told you'll have to wait to go to the taxi rank. FFS!

# And an hour later you go back to find the road and therefore the taxi rank has been closed 'for the rest of the day'! FFS!

# And the alternative taxi rank was closed two months ago for road works on the other side of the shopping centre. FFS!

# And it's now raining cats and dogs outside. FFS!

# And your three year old has lost his little mind because he's been stuck in a shopping centre for three hours and there are so many rides and you only had two $1 coins. FFS!

# The ten year old comes home from school in the freezing, pouring rain and you offer to make him a tea, and he moans that he wants cocoa. FFS!

# He knows you never buy cocoa! FFS!

# He laments that the tooth fairy forgot to pay him for his tooth again. FFS!

# The 12 year old pipes in that the tooth fairy owes him for four teeth. FFS!

# Bloody forgetful tooth fairy. Bloody State Government Budget that puts jobs at risk. Bloody lying Centrelink Homepages that says it 'Assists people to become self-sufficient...' when they refuse to help the Grumpy Old Man because he's on a 'parenting pension' and his youngest 'hasn't turned six yet, so you're not a priority client.' F F S!