Saturday, June 09, 2012

Everything in balance - a zen kind of life.

I'm feeling the zen today!

On Thursday I blogged about how awesome I am. Most of the time I really do feel that I'm pretty damn awesome. I also feel that a lot of people just don't see how awesome I am, and it's constantly a shock to my system when I realise they're just not seeing it!

Then I have days like today.

Days where I've just discovered two of my children conspired to steal a $20 note from my desk and take it to school and shout themselves and some friends to goodies from the canteen - if only one of them hadn't lost the note between leaving the house and canteen time...

Days where I see that my children are able to perpetuate a charade of 'looking for the note' for THREE HOURS!

Days where I watch them try to put the blame on each other or on their baby brother.

Days where I know I haven't managed to submit anything to a really inspiring blog hop and I won't get to it today either.

Days where I realise it's the 9th of the month already and I've only written about 500 words of the 15 000 words I should have on paper now out of the 50 000 words I signed up to write in June.

Days when I have an application I need to put in by Friday but I have no idea what I'm going to put on it yet.

Days where I wish I could be all the things I know I can be if I could just pull my shit together long enough to actually make it happen!

These are the zen days, the days when I just have to sit back and exhale and accept that life is a balance. I get a lot of awesome; more than enough awesome when I'm prepared to see it. And so, the pendulum must sometimes swing the other way or my life would become unbalanced and eventually tip right over - because balance must always be maintained even if it means heady heights followed by catastrophe.

Economic rationalists would have us believe the economy can grow and grow and grow ad infinitum. Some spiritualists would have us believe we can be only and always happy with everything always going our way to the heady heights of success.

A lot of our society eschews pain. We don't see the necessity for it. We medicate against it, we vaccinate against it, we run away from it. We believe in learning without mistakes, doing without failure. We can't bear the thought of being weak, a loser, unpopular, a failure.

I believe you cannot have success without failure, happiness without sadness, pleasure without pain.
So, today I feel the opposite of awesome and because I know what it is to feel aweless (yeah, the word is awful, but have you ever notices how that word just doesn't make any sense?), because I feel all my failings today - I'll enjoy the next awesome day all the more for it!

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