Skip to main content


This catch cry irritates me.

Yes, it's a well established fact that I am rather easily irritated. All the same, whenever I see someone - and by someone I mean women - started a vent with 'Men!', I immediately wonder what element of womanhood this woman is tapping into.

You see, I'm married to a man and I'm raising four men. In our society men are believed to have the lion share of the power. Ironically - if you believe television shows and advertising - they are also believed to be rather useless. They are believed to be low-brow. They are believed to be at the mercy of their impulses; boys will be boys, men will be men, etcetera. Men are believed to be lazy and selfish and base.

When a woman says, 'Men!', other women know this is short for, 'Just wait until you hear what my man has said or done now!' What ensues will often be quite frustrating. It'll be a story of a man who has been selfish or thoughtless or childish, or mean. Men can be all of these things. My man has been all of these things. It is frustrating because the man has been less than he should have been and yet, should that be extrapolated to all men???

Here's the rub.

Women can be all of these things, and men doubtlessly share these same kinds of stories with their friends about the women in their lives.

Only that is called misogyny.

If a man cries, 'Women!' it is misogyny. He hates women. He is about to degrade all women because one woman has hurt him.

When a woman cries, 'Men!' What is is? Is it labelled anything other than frustration or hurt? What is the female counterpart of misogyny? I'll look it up because, honestly, the word does not come to mind.

Oh, right, it's misandry - actually, I do know that word, it just slipped my mind because, well, you hardly ever hear it. So, the female counterpart of a misogynist is a misandrist. I doubt very much any of my friends are misandrists. Likewise, I doubt many men are truly misogynists.

So, when women cry, 'Men!' Do you believe they are being misandrist? When men cry, 'Women!' are they being misogynist? Is it fair to lump all men or all women in with the poor behaviour of one, on a particular occasion? Either we stop calling men misogynists for lumping us into one group, or we stop acting in ways, that if we saw men doing the same, we'd call them misogynists.


We, humans that is, need to treat each other with the respect we each expect to be treated with. That means if you don't want men to lump all women into one group and hate on them, then you must also not do that about men.

This post was brought to you by the emotion irritation and the state continuous.


Popular posts from this blog

The symbolism of elephants...

Just recently I've been seeing and noticing elephants everywhere!

A few weeks ago I saw the Samsung Elephant Ad, and watching that led me to watching a video with an elephant painting (seriously, you have to watch it to believe it!).

Then last night the boys told me they were having a free dress day at school to raise money for 'Mali the Elephant' - who turned out to be a paper maché statue which the children will paint and then show around the council before it comes back to the school to stand outside the performing arts room.

Then this morning I followed a link from Twitter to Toushka Lee's blog and read this post about an elephant orphanage in Sri Lanka.

This morning the Grumpy Old Man did another driving test and unfortunately didn't pass. We've booked his next test and are looking forward to that now. About ten minutes before he walked in the door I saw this poster on Facebook...

At the time, I didn't know if the Grumpy Old Man had been successful or …

12 Things Happy People Do Differently - a self-reflection...

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the above poster on her wall. I believe she got these points from this blog which she enjoys reading, and the bloggers on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog derived their discussion of these points from this book, available on Amazon - you're welcome! I have to admit, I haven't read the blog or the book I've just mentioned but wanted my readers to have access to the sources of the poster for their own reflective purposes.
The New Year will be upon us in but a few days and I thought this a great opportunity to do a little personal assessment on how I'm playing the happy game. I'm often not very happy at all - I don't need to be happy all the time, let me just say that up front - I personally believe that life is a balancing act and those who seek euphoria often will also often feel desolation because in all things there must be balance. The great riches of the few on this planet come at the personal cost of the many as is …

Alone... And Stuff...

Do you ever just need to be alone?

As the boys are growing up, we have more times when the house is quiet. The youngest will be asleep. One will be reading, one will be playing on his computer with headphones on, one will be painting and there is stillness.

Sometimes, even that is not enough.

Sometimes I crave being alone, with no possibility of someone suddenly realising they have to tell me something important or ask me a question or even just crash about in the kitchen.

Sometimes I crave S P A C E, lots and lots of space, being able to walk from room to room without encountering another soul.

This is how I felt when I woke up this morning, so instead of getting ready for work, I decided to stay home. Get up, but not go anywhere, no hear the sound of my own voice, or anyone else's.

I think this might just be part of getting older. After a lifetime of chasing after other people and trying not to be alone, my mind and body is full of thoughts, experiences, feelings, and busy-ness …