Skip to main content

Where to go next...

You may or may not have noticed that my blog posts have been a bit sporadic of late. It's not that I don't have anything to say. I have plenty to say. It's more that I'm in a space where the things I want to say are deeper and sometimes darker than what I've written about here previously.

I guess I'm getting to an age where I'm thinking back on my life a lot. I used to say that I would not change a single thing about my life because it has all brought me to where I am today, but I've been thinking about that and I'm not so sure that is true. I think some of the things I've done or experienced could have not existed and I would still be where I am today - so long as other people lived their lives the same way.

I have regrets.

I regret that night in late 1991 when a couple of girlfriends and I downed a bottle of Spumante each and went wondering the streets of Warilla.

I regret letting myself be beguiled by the baby-faced boy at Uni who was so desperate not to be alone that he was willing to get into a relationship with me that he wasn't that invested in, but I was.

I regret not making more of an effort to get a job with my undergraduate degree because now it's not worth the paper it was printed on.

And other things.

Do I really want to get into all that on this blog. Does anyone want to read it. Who is this blog for anyway. Who will be shocked and possibly upset by the things I have to say on many aspects of my own life. These are questions I'm turning over in my head now. Chances are I'll go there, ultimately I have nothing to hide. Still, I teeter on the edge, not quite ready to jump yet.

Comments

Bonnie said…
I feel the same way, and I'm still sitting on the fence, waiting for a push one way or the other,

Popular posts from this blog

12 Things Happy People Do Differently - a self-reflection...

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the above poster on her wall. I believe she got these points from this blog which she enjoys reading, and the bloggers on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog derived their discussion of these points from this book, available on Amazon - you're welcome! I have to admit, I haven't read the blog or the book I've just mentioned but wanted my readers to have access to the sources of the poster for their own reflective purposes.
The New Year will be upon us in but a few days and I thought this a great opportunity to do a little personal assessment on how I'm playing the happy game. I'm often not very happy at all - I don't need to be happy all the time, let me just say that up front - I personally believe that life is a balancing act and those who seek euphoria often will also often feel desolation because in all things there must be balance. The great riches of the few on this planet come at the personal cost of the many as is …

The symbolism of elephants...

Just recently I've been seeing and noticing elephants everywhere!

A few weeks ago I saw the Samsung Elephant Ad, and watching that led me to watching a video with an elephant painting (seriously, you have to watch it to believe it!).

Then last night the boys told me they were having a free dress day at school to raise money for 'Mali the Elephant' - who turned out to be a paper maché statue which the children will paint and then show around the council before it comes back to the school to stand outside the performing arts room.

Then this morning I followed a link from Twitter to Toushka Lee's blog and read this post about an elephant orphanage in Sri Lanka.

This morning the Grumpy Old Man did another driving test and unfortunately didn't pass. We've booked his next test and are looking forward to that now. About ten minutes before he walked in the door I saw this poster on Facebook...


At the time, I didn't know if the Grumpy Old Man had been successful or …

Alone... And Stuff...

Do you ever just need to be alone?



As the boys are growing up, we have more times when the house is quiet. The youngest will be asleep. One will be reading, one will be playing on his computer with headphones on, one will be painting and there is stillness.

Sometimes, even that is not enough.

Sometimes I crave being alone, with no possibility of someone suddenly realising they have to tell me something important or ask me a question or even just crash about in the kitchen.

Sometimes I crave S P A C E, lots and lots of space, being able to walk from room to room without encountering another soul.

This is how I felt when I woke up this morning, so instead of getting ready for work, I decided to stay home. Get up, but not go anywhere, no hear the sound of my own voice, or anyone else's.

I think this might just be part of getting older. After a lifetime of chasing after other people and trying not to be alone, my mind and body is full of thoughts, experiences, feelings, and busy-ness …