Where to go next...

You may or may not have noticed that my blog posts have been a bit sporadic of late. It's not that I don't have anything to say. I have plenty to say. It's more that I'm in a space where the things I want to say are deeper and sometimes darker than what I've written about here previously.

I guess I'm getting to an age where I'm thinking back on my life a lot. I used to say that I would not change a single thing about my life because it has all brought me to where I am today, but I've been thinking about that and I'm not so sure that is true. I think some of the things I've done or experienced could have not existed and I would still be where I am today - so long as other people lived their lives the same way.

I have regrets.

I regret that night in late 1991 when a couple of girlfriends and I downed a bottle of Spumante each and went wondering the streets of Warilla.

I regret letting myself be beguiled by the baby-faced boy at Uni who was so desperate not to be alone that he was willing to get into a relationship with me that he wasn't that invested in, but I was.

I regret not making more of an effort to get a job with my undergraduate degree because now it's not worth the paper it was printed on.

And other things.

Do I really want to get into all that on this blog. Does anyone want to read it. Who is this blog for anyway. Who will be shocked and possibly upset by the things I have to say on many aspects of my own life. These are questions I'm turning over in my head now. Chances are I'll go there, ultimately I have nothing to hide. Still, I teeter on the edge, not quite ready to jump yet.

Comments

Bonnie said…
I feel the same way, and I'm still sitting on the fence, waiting for a push one way or the other,