Skip to main content

The year I spent in bed...

If I were to write a memoir about this year of my life, it would be titled, 'The Year I Spent In Bed'. Not because I have been sick, or even because I have spent the entire year in bed, but because it seems to me that is all I want to do this year.

I have felt so deathly tired all year. I get up, go to uni (most days, anyway, but not today and not last Friday, or Thursday, and not tomorrow, but maybe for a bit on Wednesday), come home and go to bed. On weekends, if I'm not out of the house on an errand, I'm usually to be found in my bed.

I'm not sleeping all the time, in fact, I only ever doze on and off, and rarely sleep properly at night. It's just that I find I do all my best thinking in bed and the work I do requires a helluva lot of thinking!

This morning I've been reading blogs by other writers doing a PhD, as well as the odd (and they're usually odd, one way or another) creative writing blog. After a few hours doing that I feel exhausted. My head is full of thoughts all racing around and competing with each other for my attention like five year olds.

Now what I really need is some time in bed to focus on taming these little beasts and getting them to speak to me with some semblance of coherence. It might turn out that two or three of them could make friends and start something exciting; a new goal, or maybe even a new project!

For thinking I need quiet and cozy. I need to be bundled up in a hug where I feel safe to let everything go and allow myself to just float along with my thoughts. You see thoughts are like fairy floss, if you grasp them too firmly, they lose their body, and become crushed; hard little lumps of crystalised sugar. Sugar is sweet, but fairy floss is magic. I need magic.



Popular posts from this blog

The symbolism of elephants...

Just recently I've been seeing and noticing elephants everywhere!

A few weeks ago I saw the Samsung Elephant Ad, and watching that led me to watching a video with an elephant painting (seriously, you have to watch it to believe it!).

Then last night the boys told me they were having a free dress day at school to raise money for 'Mali the Elephant' - who turned out to be a paper maché statue which the children will paint and then show around the council before it comes back to the school to stand outside the performing arts room.

Then this morning I followed a link from Twitter to Toushka Lee's blog and read this post about an elephant orphanage in Sri Lanka.

This morning the Grumpy Old Man did another driving test and unfortunately didn't pass. We've booked his next test and are looking forward to that now. About ten minutes before he walked in the door I saw this poster on Facebook...

At the time, I didn't know if the Grumpy Old Man had been successful or …

Alone... And Stuff...

Do you ever just need to be alone?

As the boys are growing up, we have more times when the house is quiet. The youngest will be asleep. One will be reading, one will be playing on his computer with headphones on, one will be painting and there is stillness.

Sometimes, even that is not enough.

Sometimes I crave being alone, with no possibility of someone suddenly realising they have to tell me something important or ask me a question or even just crash about in the kitchen.

Sometimes I crave S P A C E, lots and lots of space, being able to walk from room to room without encountering another soul.

This is how I felt when I woke up this morning, so instead of getting ready for work, I decided to stay home. Get up, but not go anywhere, no hear the sound of my own voice, or anyone else's.

I think this might just be part of getting older. After a lifetime of chasing after other people and trying not to be alone, my mind and body is full of thoughts, experiences, feelings, and busy-ness …

12 Things Happy People Do Differently - a self-reflection...

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the above poster on her wall. I believe she got these points from this blog which she enjoys reading, and the bloggers on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog derived their discussion of these points from this book, available on Amazon - you're welcome! I have to admit, I haven't read the blog or the book I've just mentioned but wanted my readers to have access to the sources of the poster for their own reflective purposes.
The New Year will be upon us in but a few days and I thought this a great opportunity to do a little personal assessment on how I'm playing the happy game. I'm often not very happy at all - I don't need to be happy all the time, let me just say that up front - I personally believe that life is a balancing act and those who seek euphoria often will also often feel desolation because in all things there must be balance. The great riches of the few on this planet come at the personal cost of the many as is …