All the feels...

Whoa! Did anyone notice time taking flight? I didn't, I've been a bit distracted about all the things going on around here in the past couple of weeks. I've been fortunate enough to spend some with family and friends, going out, or staying in. I've managed to, finally, get my resume on paper and send of a notice of availability to my head of school for tutoring.

Emotionally, it has been a very up and down start to the year, so I thought I'd journal those feels today to get them out of my head.

Happy!

I've done more cooking in the past couple of weeks than I did all of last year. Pretty much all new recipes.  Here is a sample of the meals I've made.

Cauliflower and broccoli bake. Was nice but next time I'm going to cut the cauliflower and broccoli into smaller pieces.

Chicken patties. These were nice and I had no idea how easy it was to make these at home - they were a decided improvement on what we had been buying at the supermarket!


Smoked salmon bites. These were a hit with the kids. Next time I'm going to use regular muffin trays instead of mini muffin trays because they'll be easier to fill.


Zucchini slice. The kids weren't a fan of this one, because the chunks of zucchini were too... chunky, so next time I'm going tot shred the zucchini.


Beef stew (accompanied by salad), this was yummy!


Fish curry. Everyone loved this except Erik. That is mainly because the Grumpy Old Man made an off-hand comment that it was a bit like Laksa. Erik doesn't like Laksa so he predetermined he would hate this.


Baked chicken thigh cutlet with bacon on top. So easy. Big hit.


Spinach carbonara. This was WAY too salty (due to bacon), and there wasn't enough spinach, so next time I'm using less bacon, more spinach and I'll probably add chicken as well. Then I expect it'll be fine.


French Chicken Casserole. Very nice, haven't had a meal with tarragon in a long while.


Chicken tenders wrapped in bacon. Bryn's favourite!


Stroganoff. Much better than any stroganoff we have had out of a packet.


Sheperd's pie with almond meal crust. Honestly, next time I won't bother with the crust, it adds over an hour to prep and cooking time, and I didn't really enjoy it (only ate half the crust).


Baked fish with parsley and lemon. I had no idea I could buy fish at just $10 per kilo. So, in the last couple of weeks we've had fresh fish TWICE. That is two more times than ever before for my children. Erik, having been told it was fish, asked if it was tofu. Oh my shame.


I've also been drinking lots and lots of soda water. I know, plain filter water is better, but I just can't stomach it. The fizz is fun. Also, I just wanted to post this photo because I really liked it!


There were other meals, like delicious healthy nachos (all the makings with mixed leaves instead of corn chips) and we've had a roast with roast vegies every Sunday.

Eating this stuff has done three things. It has freshened up our menu 100% and it was getting terminably boring. It has stopped the kids pestering us with 'What's for dinner?' And it has caused the Grumpy Old Man to lose 6.5kg and me to lose 4.5kg. I am never very hungry and I have no cravings. All these things make me happy!

Sad!

A friend of mine was told, thirteen months ago, that she has stage 4 bowel cancer. All of 2014 she has been battling along, buoyed by the hope that a liver resection might put her into remission. She has had to jump through more hoops than might seem humanly possible, and at each step, she has beaten the odds. Until this last week. Last Thursday, she received the devastating news that her liver has not grown enough for the surgery to proceed with anything more than a 50/50 chance of survival. I have been so deeply, deeply sad, sad and angry, because it's just not fair. She posted about her options, such as they are, on her blog this week - The Impossible Choice.

Guilty!

I have been feeling guilty. I feel I haven't done enough work for my PhD. This has been a great motivator, actually, so in this instance guilt isn't necessarily a bad thing. On Thursday and Friday I finally got really stuck into writing. I had already written eighteen stories for the colloquium paper in June, and a further seven in December. With twenty-five stories done, I still had ninety-five stories to write for my creative work. On Thursday and Friday I wrote ten stories. So, now I only have eighty-five stories left. That is write - not edit, I still have a mountain of editing ahead of me, but I need to get the stories down first. Cassandra is due back in two weeks time. Before then, I'd like to get another twenty-five stories on paper. That way I'll at least have written half the creative work, because really I have to have this all down (120 flash fictions and a further 20k exegesis) by the end o the year so I can spend the last six months editing and grounding my work into something relatively cohesive.

Hopeful!


Erik has started all the holiday homework he has to do for the three VCE units he's doing this year (Studio Art 1&2, Philosophy 1&2, and General Maths 1&2). I know VCE is a big deal, but I had not idea how much work he would have to do before he even had his first class. I am hopeful he will cope with it all, and I am hopeful he will develop better organisation skills than I have...


Speaking of organisational skills, I have invested in a paper and pen diary system. I was using my calendars and the google calendar, but nothing ever syncs properly (I'm probably doing something wrong, but I don't have the time or inclination to try and figure it out anymore). So, I ordered a very cutesy diary so that once something is written down, it doesn't disappear! Now I just need to remember to bring the thing with me! I am hopeful this will help me remember to do all the things.


Abandoned!

Yeah, only joking... Sort of. Tomorrow my co-procratinator is LEAVING THE COUNTRY! I mean, seriously Robbie, you could have just told me you needed to get more work done! Going to Korea is a bit of overkill, don't you think?

So, now I'll have to procrasti-plan on my own, damn... Horrible things might happen - I might drink LESS COFFEE, or I might be force to catch up with OTHER FRIENDS (if they even remember who I am now). I might actually even GET SOME WORK DONE.

Yeah no, I'm not joking, I feel totally abandoned.

Optimistic!

Mostly though, I feel optimistic about life at the moment. I feel like I'm starting to gain ground on my goals. Life is full and full-on and I still worry a lot about things I have no power to change, but I'm feeling optimistic about my growing awareness of the things I can have some influence over and taking steps to take those opportunities when they pop up instead of being afraid to put myself out there.


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